To find out the sex or not to find out the sex.. bub#2

[Eng]

Hello,

DH and I are expecting bub#2, we are both so excited and have waited and longed to have our little blessing..

When I was pregnant with DD, I couldnt wait to find out if she was a boy or a girl. When we found out we werent meant to share the info with family but DH told my mum indirectly. So we had to tell the rest of the parents. But this time I want to keep the excitment alive and not find out.. At the 12 week scan DH and I kept guessing 'o wait thats a willy no theres a v-jayjay'.

So yesterday we meet up with our OB who told me to book my 20 week scan. He asked if we wanted to find out the sex. DH said yes and I said not sure.. So in the car on the way home, I asked DH and he said he didnt really care.. I am still undecided...

I wanted to know but I dont want to know.. I want that experience of Its a .... when we are sitting there in the delievery room.. but It would make it easier to know.

Our families are very involed in our lives (culture thing) My mil in hospital with leukemia and I think her not knowing and just being excited about the baby gives her something to fight towards. My FIL has made is opinion known that he doesnt want us to find out. My olds are sweet they will go with the flow.. Actually I think My mum wants to know.. lol

Has anyone else gone through this, found out and then wished they didnt?? Or found out and will do it again? Any thoughts? Suggestions? lol I just want some advise..

Thank you in advance..

[Nai]

We didn't find out with either of ours - DP got to do the "we have a .... " for both of them which made him feel pretty special. Everyone accused us of knowing but not telling but it really didn't matter. We said if it's a boy we have 6 months to sort out room etc as bubs was always going to be rooming in with us at the start anyway and if it was a girl she would go into DD1's room once she was ready. We didn't tell Mum or MIL what we had until they came to the hospital with DD1 - they were really annoyed but we wanted DD1 to be the first person (apart from us) to find out that she had a sister.

[*EJ*]

We didn't find out with DS#1. With DS#2 we decided on our way to the scan to find out but it was never something we were going to make known to everyone. In the end a few close people to me did know before the birth (Parents & in-laws not included). This time around i am SOOOO tempted but also know i would love to have the surprise at the end. Still yet to have any scans so again it may be something we just end up deciding on the day.

Having done it both ways i can't really say i liked one way better than the other. At the end of the journey we got our beautiful little miracles and that's all that matters to us. The curiosity in me is what's making me want to know what this little one is but that is it, everything else can wait until after the bubba comes.

So to answer your questions i never had any regrets in not knowing what DS1 was or knowing what DS2 was it was a beautiful journey both ways. And i know whatever we decide with this little one it will be right and just as much a special journey as the first two. I do suggest that if you find out what you are having keep it to yourselves as much as you can. Even though you know, it does keep the suspence until the end for everyone else.

Good luck i hope i was a little help for you xo

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

We found out with both, with DD1 we weren't going to but then DP changed his mind so we 'flipped a coin'
I am so so glad we did though as i got to tell my nan we were having a girl and using her name as a middle name, she died 3 days later, she had asked me from day 1 what girls name we would use and we didn't have one picked, when we found out we were having a girl the name came to us and we used it and told her straight away.

With DD2 we found out for financial reasons, i had given all my neutral baby clothes to a friend who desperately needed some help and we couldn't really afford to go out and buy all new neutral clothes and sheets etc.

[nickle730]

We found out the gender of our babies with both of our kids. We kept it a secret with DD, no one knew but us! It was really nice for DH and I to share that experience - we knew something no one else knew, something we could only share with each other.

At the same US that we found out the gender of DS we were told that he was not expected to survive. His gender was so completely irrelevant and unimportant that we told everyone. Keeping it a secret really wasn't even a consideration.

This time, my DH has said that he would like a surprise. I really feel that I should honour his wish and not find out... BUT... I don't think I can!! I can cope with not being terribly organised as far as clothes and room decorations go, but I honestly find that knowing the gender when I'm pregnant helps me to bond with my babies. I don't want to miss that opportunity! I am also impatient and just waiting 20 weeks to find out the gender seems waaaay too long! I have suggested to DH that I find out and he doesn't, but he's not sure about that!

So, I've found out both times and never regretted it. I know people say it's lovely to have the surprise at the time of delivery, but I like to have the surprise half way through! It's not like, if you know the gender the delivery is boring!!!

If you're not sure whether you want to know you could ask for the gender to be written in the US report which is sent to your care provider. Then you can change your mind and find out later. Or I do know someone who had the gender written down and sealed in an envelope. She and her DH never looked at it, but liked the idea that they COULD look if they wanted to... would have driven me insane!!! Good luck, whatever you decide!

[*EJ*]

I think i agree with nickle730 about knowing and having that extra time to bond knowing you will have a new son/daughter. I'm not saying you don't get that experience of bonding when you don't know but thinking back i really did enjoy it... that we could know and no one else did. I really am leaning towards finding out what this little bubba will be.

[turtleschell]

I didn't find out with DD.. the whole time I hoped for and expected a boy. Not knowing made the whole pregnancy really exciting. For that reason, I intend to never find out the sex of any future babies.
To be honest though, during the labour (10hrs and no pain relief) the sex of my baby was the last thing on my mind, and when DH finally said "It's a girl" I felt no real reaction, just "oh".. mainly just felt relieved and shocked that labour was finally over!
But, not expecting a girl made me love having a girl. I felt so proud of her, surprising us like that, and also looking so cute and pretty..

[black_rose]

We didn't find out with the two girls, we almost did this time but changed our minds after talking about it in the car on the way there. We decided no beacause we had doubts what if we regretted knowing, so we are having a third surprise!

[~Serenity~]

I found out all four I would love to have kept them a surprise but I couldn't help myself but the next one will be a surprise

[Eng]

Thank you ladies.. DH and I are still in shock! haaha and so over joyed!!