I didn't find them that useful as most of the content was focussed on a natural birth and I ended up having a caesar. We touched on c/s delivery but there was still alot that I didn't know when time arrived. Could have done without seeing the epi/spinal needle, almost made me faint and it didn't hurt anyway. I wish I had known that day 2 after a caesar (once they take away the pca) will be extremely painful.
I guess I just wanted to know the actual facts, didn't want to be scared but if something is going to be painful I would like to know in advance then it won't be such a shock.
Well, Nurse Dan, there's another thing. Not even my fantastic ante natal classes touched much on ceasars. Hardly at all. They are extraordinarily common.
I think the key is not to mince words, or sugar coat it. If you sugar coat it, people don't get the right idea and when the pain hits (like the pain 2 days after a ceasar I have heard of) it comes as a shock - like my extraordinarily painful vagina. My DH had to go out an buy tonnes more maternity pads than I had. Of course, you don't want to tell mothers all the gorry details and have them running out of the room screaming "Get it out! Get it out! NOW!!"
It also sounds as though the dads miss out quite often. Any partners are far from superfluous. I don't know how I would have done it without my magic DH, who listened so much at the classes.
These are the things I wanted to learn but didnt because everyone else just wanted to know about epidurals.
- realistic explanation on when to come to the hospital when labout starts (ie- is it REALLY necessary to come in at the first contraction?)
- how to use natural ways of managing painful contractions like breathing techniques, massage etc
- things you can do to avoid or at least minimise tearing
- what to expect straight after and in the few days following birth. I remember also being asked if my blood loss was ok and I was just thinking umm thats something you should be assessing isnt it? How am I meant to know whats normal and what isnt. The day after Claire was born I passed a clot (or something) larger than a golf ball and I had no idea if that was normal or not.
- to encourage you to discuss with your partner (or whoever else is going to be there for the birth) about things you would like and wouldnt like to happen during labour/birth (eg I wanted to use the bath, but I forgot and he never reminded me, but I WISH he had reminded me).
I remember feeling really overwhelmed after the classes and felt like there was no way I could do this. Obviously a lot of information needs to be covered as every birth is different and there are a range of possible outcomes but I think I would have liked to walk out feeling confident that it was do-able. Being realistic it was going to be a challenging experience but with a confidence and calm that our bodies are designed to do this and that we would be supported and we would be ok.
The other thing I would have liked to cover in the session on caring for a newborn was how your life is changed by a baby for you as an individual and as a couple and what it does to your life. I realise it is hard to do this justice as at that time all you are focused on is the birth. However if somebody had said something about the ups and downs psychologically of a newborn I might have been able to draw on this in the early days when I was struggling with the change and not think I was so freaky for not loving having a newborn.
Like quite a few people said I would've liked more on after the labour, my classes focused on labour positions, different pain relief options and side effects, how actual labour happens and the stages All well and good but after having DD I found myself thinking how the labour was just the one day where the baby is ongoing. I would've liked more on how our bodies go afterwards, bleeding, the pain, the trials with breastfeeding, ideas on how to settle a baby, those sorts of things.
We did all of the positions as well, but DS came so fast that I ended up lying on my back with my body doing all of the work. Positions be sort of ceased being relevant to me at that point. As it would for those who have had a ceasar. I was panicked and scared, but because of the good background my support person was legendary.
Lana the newborn stuff is good to. Maybe more reference to how you may feel afterwards. I felt like I was in a black hole I didn't get out of until DS was about 12 weeks old. No one really told me about that. I wasn't depressed as such (I think I had a mild case of PND), I think I was mourning the life I had before where I was free to do what I wanted when I wanted. A light switch eventually went off in my head and the little elf in my brain said, "you wanted this baby, you idiot, get over the life you had and accept what is in front of you!" I did, and it's been all plain sailing since then. People tend to think of PND as something where you're sitting on the bathroom floor with a knife ready to slit your wrists, but it can come in many different forms. That is my personal experience, others have other experiences. Either way you look at it a newborn in the house is certainly interesting when you're standing there thinking, "What the heck do I do now?"
Newborns are pretty basic creatures. They need heaps of sleep, need to eat a lot (and rather slowly) and often and just want their mummies to hold them 24 hours a day. Pretty confronting when you've lived in your own world for so long. If they don't get these things (or they suffer from colic etc) life can get very difficult and your relationship needs to be strong to get through it together.
Something that I think is glaringly absent from hospital antenatal classes is an explanation of informed consent.
It would be great if women and their partners could have this explained to them. To be told that decisions are always theirs to make and that they can't be forced to do things they don't want to, or accept treatments that they don't understand. That they can ask questions, and have a right to reasonable answers. That they should never be subjected to procedures, tests, pain relief or examinations without someone asking for - and receiving - their express consent.
They should also be walked through what will happen if they do say no to something - because many couples agree to things they aren't happy with because they just don't know what will happen if they say no. They don't want to risk that. The hospitals should explain to them what their policy is when treatment is declined.
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