How many times have you been pregnant? *Sensitive topic*

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Y'know, I'm sorry, I have tried to let it go, but I'm really offended. I have NOTHING to remember my babies by. Most people don't even consider them babies because they were only 6 weeks old (as further evidenced by this thread). I never got to hold them, to see what they looked like, I don't even know if they were boys or girls. Sometimes I feel stupid for having given them unisex names, I feel like I'm making too much out of nothing. But y'know what? They were and ARE my babies, and I bet that my heart aches just as much as anyones

I don't think it's helpful to anyone to say that one loss is worse than another - ALL loss is fricken' painful and should never happen.

[LionsandBears]

keike - everyone's pain is there own and it's all relative. I don't dismiss the pain of other mothers.

For me, I have had 2 early losses and 2 babies born still or who then died. For me, the pain of those deaths outweigh the pain of a mc. I was devastated when I had a mc and that was a very real grief. I still gireve that baby. It was nothing compared to holding my boys still in my arms or planning their funerals. Yes, I have things to remember them by, but for me, that's no consolation at all. Personally, I would rather have another miscarriage than an another late loss. It would still be painful, but I would find some small comfort in mother nature doing her job properly for once. because, in my opinion, she's been crap at it so far. That's a deal I've made with myself. But that has been the lessons that life has brought to me.

I have a dear friend who would kill to get pregnant. She has told me she'd rather be in her shoes than mine. I don't know what it's like to be in her shoes, so I can't compare. It is not a competition of whose pain is greater than the others. I think the idea of comparing emotional scars is sick. I have not walked in your shoes. I have not walked in the shoes of the mother whose child died of SIDS, illness, car accident, lost 7 babies in the 2nd trimester and nearly bled to death with 3 of them. I have not walked in the shoes of the woman with a balanced translocation who loses bub after bub after bub, praying desperately that the number roll her way for once. I have not walked in the shoes of the woman who has tried and tried and tried and never got pregnant once. I do not compare the pain. That was not my point at all.

My point was about people who buy trouble. Whilst someone is pregnant today, I think they should enjoy as much as they can, being pregnant, today. That is all you can expect. Hope for the best, stay healthy and maybe they get to keep a living, healthy baby. Worry is normal. Dealing with it, managing it is something we can try to control. The baby making it or not if often not something we can.

I'm sorry if I was unclear.

[Rouge]

Beautiful Tash. Absolutely beautiful xx

[ButterflyForever]

I have 5 children at home, and my beautiful little lady, who is no longer with us.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

I guess it comes down to personal opinion as well then. For me, I don't mind so much that they died, because of my religious beliefs regarding death - my problem is that I have no photos, no ashes, not even a gender. I guess you've hit a nerve with me, but I do understand what you're saying

[Blixie]

I guess it comes down to personal opinion as well then. For me, I don't mind so much that they died, because of my religious beliefs regarding death - my problem is that I have no photos, no ashes, not even a gender. I guess you've hit a nerve with me, but I do understand what you're saying

I agree it kills me that if the topic of my 1st pregnancy comes up people just bruch it off cos "it wasn't a real baby. Well i'm sorry but i was pregnant therefore there was a baby! Missed miscarriage (went for my 12week scan and baby had died at 8w) It hurts not knowing what sex bub was, what bub looked like. I see what you're saying that a full term loss is "worse" but i don't feel that any loss should be seen as unimportant and i did feel that maybe it was implied that early losses don't really matter... Or maybe i'm over sensitive today.

To answer your question blessed at last 4 pregnancies, 1 missed m/c, 2 DD's and one still baking.