...and I'm not even going to wait to see what the answer from my ob will be...this will happen!
After reading a truly inspiring birth story by Paula Beckton who assisted in the c/section delivery of her son I now have my heart set on doing the same thing.
It's where the obstetrician delivers the head and the shoulders of the baby and then Mum (that would be me!) takes the baby and gently lifts them up and onto her chest.
Of course Mum has been scrubbed and is wearing sterile gloves so there is no risk of infection.
I think this is absolutely fantastic and a way for c/section Mums to be a contributing part in their baby's birth.
With each of the boys c/sections I felt totally out of control, like I didn't matter and that I really bore no relevance in the proceedings...but this way, this will give me some control and what better way for our baby to welcomed into the world than by it's own mother's hands!
I'm so excited...I'm telling everyone!
In a couple of weeks I'll be seeing my ob and I'll be going in armed with the birth story, the name and contact number of the obstetrician who helped this particular lady and I will plead my case.
Wish me luck!
No I don't need luck, I can cry on cue these days...
hey ive heard of this and its such a great thing.. Good on you for standing up to ur doc... and dont take no for an answer.. Best of luck, it will be so beautiful to be the one holding ur bub as they enter the world.
xoox
I'm thinking of asking my Ob. about this...but think that I might be leaving it a bit late as I've heard it takes a fair bit of organisation...
I contacted Birthrites the other day about this very issue...they said that 3 women in WA have already done maternally assisted c-sections...and were more than happy to pass on the details to me (to pass onto my Ob.)...I haven't spoken to them in detail as yet...but plan to over the next few days
I think its a great idea psychologically as a c-section can make a mum feel a little removed from the process even though she is the key player. Good luck with it . I wouldn't be game to try it myself but I guess its great something like this is now accommodated for women who want it.
Good on you!! Its so refreshing to hear that you are wanting more out of your birth experience than just a c/s. I am also having a c/s for my twin boys in November - and now you have made me think about what i can do to get involved!! More power to the mother i say!! Keep everyone posted with your obs reaction. I would love to hear what they say. Good luck to you sweetie.
Things did not go well at all today. I'm still in tears actually.
I asked my OB if he'd heard of 'maternal assisted c/sections' and he said no. I then gave him all of the literature I had with the protocols, names and contact number of the OB's involved and he wouldn't look at them.
He said, "I'm not comfortable doing that...it's out of my comfort zone"
I then pleaded with him to let me have some part in the birth of my child and that the birth of my other two children left me with a feeling of hopelessness, out of control and insignificant...it was then I started to cry.
I told him that a woman helping guide her baby out when she was delivering naturally is not out of the ordinary, all I was asking that if I could please have some sort of involvement in my child's birth, and to not be left laying there, sheet draped in front of me like I had no right to be a part of the birth and I was just some insignificant piece of incompetent meat.
He didn't bat an eyelid...his response to a mother's pleadings were...
"I'll be honest with you...my insurance wouldn't cover this, and if my insurance won't cover me I'm not prepared to do it"
So there you go - it's all about the money.
He said that maybe in 5 years time after more OB's had done it then it could be something he'll look at. I reminded him that this was our last child and I didn't have 5 years...and that if no one has the initiative and guts to do it now, it won't make an iota of difference in 5, 10, 20 years.
I'm gutted...I'm so disillusioned at the person that I thought was meant to care, was being paid to care.
DH asked me afterwards if I really thought he would go for the idea.
I said that I expected him to at least look at it, research it for himself and then if he honestly came back to me and said he wasn't comfortable with but gave me options such as the drape being down during the c/section, immediate skin to skin contact after the birth...I think I would have been okay with that, safe in the knowledge that at least he looked into it.
I walked out of his office telling him that I was so disappointed and do you know in the whole time I was sitting there pouring my heart out and crying he did not even offer me a tissue...there's his compassion.
Now I don't know what to do...
Oh Mamaduke...so sorry to hear about the response you received...
Is it possible for you to go elsewhere? I know in WA, it only seems to be the 2 public hospitals that are offering this as an option...it has yet to be done in the private health system yet...and I'm sure it's all to do with insurance...ultimately the private health system is one that is profit driven...to be honest, I wonder if the private health system will ever take it up...but it's brave women like you, who challenge and express their disappointment, that there may be a glimmer of hope...
I hope that somehow, you find a way through all of this...a way that is satisfying and meaningful for you...
Have you contacted birthrites? They may have some suggestions of what to do...
I just want you to know that I think you are brave and courageous and a merit to women!!!
Oh HANG IN THERE! Find a new ob if necessary - Kelly or Alan do you know the Obs who did this procedure already? You can change Obs hun. YOU are the consumer and, it's your choice, your birth, you can DO this. By the sound of it, letting you cry and not even offering comfort or a tissue, he sounds like he's hardly a great Ob anyway....
Big hugs to you MamaDuke, that must be an awful feeling.
I have to say that I am not suprised, it is all about insurance and money and being sued and it sux but that is the way it is.
Just a thought....
What if you went to the ob, and said you will sign a disclaimer or something waiving your right to sue should anything happen as a result of your involvement, therefore he has no responsibility for that part anyway. You have obviously looked into it, and would have noticed if there are any risks, such as infection or whatever, but if you really really want to do this and are confident it is safe then tell your ob you won't hold him responsible and agree to sign something to that effect??
oh thats so not fair!! its your birth!!
i would ring around and find an ob that is prepared to give it go!!
amazing how our lives revolve around being scared to do any thing out of fear they will be sued!! american law has made it this way!!
I don't see how he'd know that his insurance wouldn't cover it when he had never even heard of it. Surely he could have had the courtesy to say he'd find out from the insurance company, that's just plain rude IMO.
I agree, try to find a new ob! Ring around & tell them what you want to do & keep going until you find one that supports what you want. It's still relatively early days in your pregnancy so I'm sure over the next few months you'd be able to find someone close to home that'd be willing to be one of the first.....
Good luck hun. Hopefully you'll be able to find someone that is willing to help you get your dream birth.
Mamaduke, you are an inspiration. Keep fighting, you have plenty of support here!
I hope you find the right Dr who will work with you to achieve your desired outcome.
The insurance thing is a load of nonsense. Who really suffers when something goes wrong, not the OB! The other option, would be as Becmc suggested, to sign an indemnity or waiver.
I responded to your post in the negative experiences - mamaduke, you are not alone!
I'm going to assist in my own c/section!
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. I wouldn't be game to try it myself but I guess its great something like this is now accommodated for women who want it.
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