Has anyone found, that, as time goes by, they stop being invited to things like parties that involve drinking and dancing and stuff, because the people throwing them think that because you can't drink then you will feel "left out", as if not being invited AT ALL makes a person feel really included!!!!!! When, before you became pregnant, you were the life of the party and the one people called to see what was happening that weekend and wouldn't dream of not inviting you to soemthing.......
People stopped inviting me places several months before I got pregnant because I went through a bit of a lifestyle change but thats another story.......
It must be hurtful at the moment feeling rejected by your friends but I've found that as time passes I have less in common with my childless friends and I spend more time with my friends who have children. They are more understanding about the challenges of going out with children and we seem to have more in common.
Emily - I have found this too.. People just expect us to be home inbed by 10pm!!! It has gooten to the stage that when we do get asked i can't say no because i feel like people will not ask me again! If DH and I go out for someones birthday i always stay out very late and never drag him home - sometimes if its 1am i'll go home but leave DH to play!!
I just wish people would let life go on like normal!! I hope that when i have the baby my single friends will still want to come around
We also found this when I fell pregnant with Kameron. Was okayish when i was pregnant but as soon as I had him it felt like the outside world & friends didn't want to know me anymore. I guess I realised then who my true friends were.
That never really happened to us, not that we were 'ragers' anyway. I think sometimes people just don't know what you'll be interested in and just assume that you wont go because your are pg or have a baby.
I was the same as Kathryn...it was okay and normal while I was pg (in fact, people forgot and would get shirty if I didn't want to go out or stay late!) but as soon as I had DS, the invitations to do stuff tapered right off. Some good friends were understanding and accomodating, but others didn't even bother to check if I could get a babysitter. Some even stopped ringing ("oh I didn't want to wake the baby if he was sleeping")...it is a bit sad & depressing when this happens.
I haven't found it too bad. Most of our friends have been really good about it. Even when they are putting on drinks they ask me if there is anything I really feel like and buy that for me instead (usually it's lemonade - big spender I am!). We still get invited everywhere but it does help when there are a few of us pregnant at the same time.
I'm sorry to everyone who is feeling left out. You soon know who your real friends are!
I just hope that this doesn't change when Bubs actually arrives as I am the first of our group of friends.
Things started to change for us after we had our baby... our friends would still invite us but would expect us to leave the baby in the spare bedroom with the coats! :fuming: Our biggest issue was that we were the first to have a baby in our group of friends. Now days, our friends only rarely come out.... which i understand but they were same ones telling us we still had to "have lives" after the baby!
Funny how telepathic this board can be. We were only talking about this yesterday at work!
My frinds are all in a different "Life space" to me - either not married or no kids anytime soon. I used to be offended, but they don't want to put you in smoky pubs because they're worried about you.
I've been a shift worker for years, so the staying up late is no prob. Keep putting oyurself out there. Remember that while your situation has changed you personally are still you. Adapt and Overcome I say, and move with the situation. If they are worth working at as friends, don't keep them. We have cyclical changes every 5-7 years, so maybe this is the start of another?
Not being cynical or nasty, just a different view. Not meant to offend anyone please.
Ally Cat I hear you loud and clear.
Most of my friends have had all their children but I am going back for one more. Im 17 wks PG. (Just a little treat for me really). My eldest is 13 and yougest is 7 so all my friends are the parents of my childrens friends. We all socialise alot together but lately Ive found that if sombody holds an impromptu get together I'm not rung. It really P#@*& me off. :fuming: Some of them have got toddlers so all our gathering are very multi aged Ive had no problems with my friends having littlies around. I really think its the drinking thing. We are just not perceived as much fun anymore. One thing though when your the only sober one you do pick up on everything. People repeating themselves and generally making a goose of themselves. Still... I guess I was like that too. The last two times I've been out I've said yes to a glass of champagne and just kind of held it and sipped it now and again, I've found people more responsive to me! Weird really. We are really a society based on alcohol.
Any how we'll have the little bundles of fun in a few months thats our reward.
Life Before Pregnancy
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It must be hurtful at the moment feeling rejected by your friends but I've found that as time passes I have less in common with my childless friends and I spend more time with my friends who have children. They are more understanding about the challenges of going out with children and we seem to have more in common.
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