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Thread: Mum's the word

  1. #1
    3forme Guest

    Default Mum's the word

    I just thought i'd have a vent, dh and i are expected our third baby and are very excited because we fell without medical assistance which we needed with the first 2. So dh and i thought we would not tell anyone until 12 weeks including our parents. But his parents are miles way but my parents are 10mins away and i see them every other day so i thought i would be a little bit naughty and tell them before we told dh family but it all backfired because i announced that we were pregnant and mum looked and me and said "Well i'm not impressed, why anyone with one of each would go back for thirds is stupid" :eek: This was not the reaction i was thinking i was going to get and now i'm upset i should have waited until 12 weeks and i wish dh was there because mum never would have said it infront of him, but i havn't told dh i told them(dad was very excited and told me not to pay her any attention)I was going to but i know he will ask what they said do i lie or do i tell the truth? I just want to cry we are so excited and she has put a massive damper on it i don't even want to talk to her about the pregnancy now, we've had our mother daughter heated moments before but this this the most cutting thing i think anyone could say to me Any advise would be good but keep in mind i'm abit fragile right now.


  2. #2

    Join Date
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    You poor thing, this is not the reaction anyone would expect. I think you should tell DH because the thought is only going to weigh you down and upset you more if you have to shoulder it on your own. Stay positive and focus on the good, talk to your dad and find out what was really on your mums mind at the time. Depending on your relationship with your mum, when you are feeling up to fighting the battle ask her why she feels this way and tell her how excitied you both are about your pending arrival. Don't have the answers but good luck.

  3. #3

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    Bec, that's an awful thing for your mother to say - no wonder you are upset. If I was in your position I think that I would talk to my mother and tell her how upset you are, that you are extreamly happy to be pregnant and that she has really hurt and disappointed you in failing to support you.
    Hugs to you Bec.

  4. #4
    angelfish Guest

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    So sorry she said that, no wonder you feel bad about it. Hopefully she just needs some time to get used to the idea. I have found that many people assume we won't have any more children because we have a boy and a girl already, so maybe she was just surprised because she didn't know you were hoping for another. Perhaps you could just give it a little while and then talk to her again, explaining how pleased you are and that you would appreciate her support.

  5. #5
    3forme Guest

    Default Thanks

    I think i will have to say something to dh, and maybe talk to dad first see if he has any inside information, my mum and i have a love hate relationship, she is a great granny to the kids who love her to bits and when we dissagree we have our spat once we cool down we alway kiss and make up but dear old mum must have her own issues going on to be so mean about such a wonderful thing thanks i'm feeling abit alone so i will tell dh even if i play it down a bit i don't want him to get to cross with mum wish me luck

  6. #6
    Fraser Guest

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    Bec I agree with Nikbrad - you should tell your DH - if he's anything like mine he would know you wouldn't be able to keep a secret from your parents anyway - and talking it out with someone would do you the world of good.

    I also agree with you - who knows what was going through your mums mind at the moment and what issues of her own influenced her comments - so so hard but try to take it with a grain of salt - if you let her know it got to you she may think she was right after all - but if you let go and continue to be excited and happy she'll eventually have to come around to your way of thinking - don't give it more creedance than it deserves - water off a ducks back!

    good luck and keep your chin up

    Em

  7. #7

    Join Date
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    Good gracious! How untactful and nasty of your mum...
    I reakon you should tell DH about it.....truth is always best and he wont be wondering why you're upset....obviously he wont be too impressed with your mum (which never helps!) but you'll probably get a lot of love from him for the next few weeks!
    That's great your dad is so happy though! Will he tell your mum off? I hope so!

  8. #8
    3forme Guest

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    My Dad is a gentle Giant he would never stand up to her face bless him

  9. #9

    Join Date
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    OMG! How selfish of your mother to say that! I would also be ringing her & letting her know how upsetting it was that she reacted this way. Explain to her that you & DH had decided not to tell anyone yet but you needed to share it with your parents but her reaction was very unsupportive & your very disapointed & upset about her reaction. Make her feel bad about it. If she replies with "I didn't mean it like that" or some other excuss. Tell you you don't care & that she should have put a bit more thought into her words before saying them as she of all people should know how exciting & inportant this pg would be for you seems it happend all by its self.
    Chin up & have a good ***** to you DH about what your mother said. Better yet get your DH to ring her & tell her how upset you are about it. Put ehr in her place!

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