thread: Neglecting DH & DD

  1. #1
    kjorgo1 Guest

    Neglecting DH & DD

    Hi everyone!

    Is there anyone else out there who feels like they are neglecting their other child/children and DH. I have the worst m/s and an tired all day. I can hardly manage to make dinner or a load of washing without having to stop and have a lie down. I feel like I am a horrible mother and wife at the moment because I can't do the things I normally do. Poor DH has to keep doing my stuff when he gets home from work and I usually like to have dinner ready but lately I can't even walk in the kitchen.

    I also can't play with my DD. She watches way too much TV now and I hate myself for it (she is 17mths). If she has a dirty nappy I vomit and it takes so much effort to change it. The only way we get to play is if I lie on the floor and she sort of plays on me with blocks (she uses me like a table) and then when I give her a bath I just get in with her because it is easier than me having to bath her and then shower myself.

    I know I am going on and on but I feel so useless and angry at myself. I hope the m/s will pass soon so I can get back to some sort of normality. We are moving house in a couple of weeks and I have no idea how I am going to pack the whole house up.

    Sorry to whinge, is there anyone out there who feels like this or who has felt like this????


  2. #2
    BellyBelly Member

    Jun 2005

    OMG GIRL - you poor thing. You know i wish you lived in Sydney - my DD (21 months) could play with your DD and we could both lay on the lounge (separate) like slugs and just complain how YUK we feel !!

    You poor thing - do you remember what is was like with #1?

    I feel guilty like you, i usually put a video on once a day but lately its been two times a day as i need to lay down too. I manage to cook dinner though. I dont think i have m/s anywhere like you.

    You know what i keep saying to myself??? - This time will pass, and I wont even remember these feelings of YUK i am having. Honestly - bit like labour - who remembers the pain, not me !!!!!!!

    Good luck with the move...

  3. #3
    Custardtart Guest

    Jorja, you are definitely not alone in this. I was fortunate enough not to have m/s myself, but a friend of mine was so ill during all her pregnancies that when she was pregnant with no. 3 she would be unable to do anything but lie on the couch all day and the kids would create a mess around her.
    When DH came home from work, he'd go around the house doing things like mopping up spilled water in the bathroom and sweeping a smashed box of cornflakes off the kitchen floor with the mess the older two had made during the day. This lasted for the entire pregnancy, so do be assured that you are not the only person who has had to go through this. Try to relax as much as you can, as stress will only make the symptoms worse.

    If you can, get some home help in for an hour a day to do some basics like a load of washing and making dinner - perhaps your local council or church could help you out for a few months? There is NO GUILT in asking for help when you are simply physically unable to keep up with the workload of running a house, and having these things done will enable you to give what energy you have to your family. I bit the bullet a couple of weeks ago and made arrangements with a cleaning agency to come around until after I've had the baby, because I plain can't keep up anymore.


  4. #4
    Melinda Guest

    Oh Jorja, you poor thing!! I really feel for you. I don't have any advice for you unfortunately, but I really do hope that the m/s passes for you really soon!!

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Mar 2005


    Jorja, that was exactly like me I could of posted that when I was preggers, Nyah my 3 yr old used to rub my back in the shower while I was throwing up and say"it's ok mummy-good girl mummy get it out" made me crack up, then vomit again,hopefully it'll pass soon for you!!!! 8-[

  6. #6
    kjorgo1 Guest

    Thanks everyone, it is good to know I am not the only one having this problem. I just hate myself at the moment and it especially makes me mad when people say that m/s is "all in your head". Tell me that when I'm bowing to the toilet gods for the 5th time in a day. I am currently loosing over a 1kg a week and am thinking of trying to see my OB earlier than 12 weeks to see if there is something he can give me. I have heard that they will sometimes prescribe Maxolon (which I already have in the cupboard) so if I get the ok I might take that. I was crying all night last night because I told DH that I couldn't do this anymore (like I have any option in it!) and am now just praying that the m/s doesn't last much longer.

    Thanks for all your support guys, I feel so much better knowing I'm not alone!



  7. #7
    BellyBelly Member

    Sep 2004
    South Burnett, QLD

    Hi Jorja...I am so sorry you're feeling so crappy. M/S is the pits. I can't imagine how hard it must be having m/s and having to look after a little one as well. I only have one baby...but when I was pg with her, I remember how hard it was to get anything done. Our house was a mess, and DH rarely ever had dinner made. He'd be lucky to get a toasted sandwich. I felt really bad, but I guess that's what families are all about - making allowances for each other and being understanding through the tough times. It certainly doesn't mean you're a bad Mum or wife. Just remember that it WILL pass...I just hope it's sooner rather than later for you!