"The next time round"

[NaeNae]

I was wondering for those who have more than 1 baby/child, was there anything you did differently when your next baby/ies came along?

How did you cope with having a child plus a baby??

Thanks Nae x

[*Belle*]

Yes for us - few things we just had a cot first time round, 2nd time round had DD2 sleeping in her bassinet beside me for 6 months. Also I demand fed. I had a box of goodies for my DD1 to play with while BF DD2 to keep her occupied, Also got all snacks for DD1 ready and drinks before feeding DD2. Settling - DD2 was settled more by being with me, either in baby carrier or in her swing (best ever to have for settling).

ETA - get your firstborn involved as much as they would like thats safe, ie grabbing a new nappy for you and just talkign to them about what you are doing, lets feed baby now, always try to have 1 on 1 time with your firstborn and let them know when baby no.2 is in bed it will be that 1 on 1 time. It makes things a lot better.

[Cassius2]

we did quite a bit differently...

apart from the obvious of having a HB we also were alot easier on ourselves in general and this came quite easily to do that. I guess alot of the steep learning curve was done with the first baby, so the second baby is a grand chance to just soak up the newborn goodness ('cause second time around it passes sooooo quickly!). so we did co-sleep this time. she lived in our Close Carrier for the first 8 weeks. i demand feed, feed to sleep and seriously dont fret about day sleeps (ie how many or how long). i now believe that with this kidlet i seriously just parent from teh heart...which comes with confidence (i had none when DD1 was born).

HTH xx

[~Kim~]

I didn't have a newborn and a baby so I can't answer that bit, but like Cassius I chilled out a whole lot with number 2. Poor Darcy, I was so concerned with what she wasn't doing that I missed out on all the good stuff.

Nate didn't do anything I wanted him to, the little rat, but I soaked up each and every bit - even the ones where hours escaped with me pacing and singing. I co-slept with Darcy but was more concerned getting her into her bed, with Nate I sold the cot before he was one (never used for him), with Darcy I fed on routine, but demand fed with Nate.

I didn't worry about anyone else's 'shoulds'. I am comfortable in my parenting. I don't feel the need to battle people who think differently about it all any more, it's just how we roll here.

[Catastrophic]

I was a lot more relaxed with baby number 2.
I tried to keep dd1 involved safely with what I could do with DD2 and at times would have my hands full with both - you quickly learn to juggle breastfeeding whilst reading stories, making lunch, cuddling DD1, playing the list goes on.
I think I coped alright as hard as it was sometimes being a little sleep deprived - you get a lot more sleep with number one

[onthefly]

I've given myself permission to just do what's easiest and works best and banished that little voice that says: Oh you shouldn't be doing that.

[~me~]

I've given myself permission to just do what's easiest and works best and banished that little voice that says: Oh you shouldn't be doing that.

Yep...I am afraid the second one just had to fit in with whatever I wanted to do I was out and about alot more and they learn to sleep on the go.
I BF my second, didn't my first, so that was a little trial for starters. We got into a good routine and DS1 was and still is a dream child, that helped heaps when DS2 came along

You will adjust naturally to less sleep, I go to bed early no matter what. Did it before kids and still do it now, so that compensated.

[nickle730]

My kids are 8, 5 and 0.5 years! We talked a lot about 'our' baby so that the kids felt included and a sense of family belonging rather than feeling displaced by the new arrival. It has worked well for us and a new baby in the house has always been a joy for the whole family. My big kids are quite a bit older than Miss P and they are very helpful and responsible with her. I love seeing her face light up when she sees her brother or her sister and I love it (both practically and emotionally) that either of the big kids can settle Miss P if she's grizzly.

[black_rose]

We didn't follow such a strict routine with dd2, she was demand fed and we followed her cues with bls. Dd1 still hates her routine being broken. With Ds he just fits into our routine, he had a capsule so I could get him in and out of the car if he was asleep. The girls have their own babies they love looking after and when I was bfing I would ask the girls to help get a blankie etc so they felt involved. We also give each child one on one time.

[NaeNae]

Thanks ladies it was really interesting reading all your replies,

we have already decided this next baby won't be wrapped as we found the transition with DD painful. I will BF on demand as I did with DD. Dh doesn't want me BF to sleep with the next one but honestly I think it will happen regardless of what he wants.

The next baby won't have a choice it will just have to adapt to our routine as DD does scheduled activites (playgroup and swimming) so thats already very different.

I agree the one on one time will be very very important and I love the ideas about giving DD something to do while bubby feeds so thanks so much for the ideas

Thanks again lovelies x x x x

[Arcadia]

I have certainly enjoyed ds more...I think I have the confidence to just do whatever I wan, which means he is totally placid and is a pure joy! Yes he feeds two hourly round the clock (still!) but I don't care. I think of myself as a professional parent now, so I just roll with whatever the kids need. With dd I think I was still fighting for my independence a bit. Now I know that you do gain more freedom as they get older, but I don't wish away this phase at all...it's ready zooming past.

[deletedit]

You treat the first like they might break, all gentle gentle.

Then you have a toddler and a baby.

She is 2.5 years older than he is. She sits on him. She pushes him off the couch. She steals toys off him. She feeds him mud. She feeds him peanuts. She barricades him into the hallway. She buries him with blankets and toys. She fills his pockets (or his nappy) with gravel, twigs or mashed food. She slams doors in his face. She opens other doors for him so he can crawl off down the street.

He's still a happy little thing with surprisingly few injuries ...