Mel I've had problems isolating them too (and working out whether I am doing them properly). I know what you mean about forgetting to do them too. It's harder to remember to do them if you don't know that you are doing them right in the first place.

I am about to go back and see the female physiotherapist I saw for back pain before the birth. She also specialises in continence "issues" (ahem). Hopefully she will give me a few tips.

There are devices such as Epi No and others which can help but they are only for after the birth.