Pregorexia???

[LaDeeDa]

I just saw an article on The Age.com.au website that talks about the epidemic of pregorexia.....

Women are now apparently expected to be the perfect stereotypical size 8-10 just with a baby bump tacked on the front and it has lead to a generation of women who basically starve themselves while they are pregnant to minimise weight gain

I mean I have felt a lot of pressure about my body and yeah I have been down on myself on and off as well sometimes quite badly but how bad does it have to be to put yourself and your baby at risk?

Who do we have to blame for this?
Is it the media - have you ever seen a larger pregnant model in a pg mag???
Or are we doing it to ourselves - have we set ourselves unrealistic expectations of our body?

There is always the person who comments on what you are eating when you are sitting at your desk.... ANOTHER bread roll Dee - watch out for the carbs you don't actually have to eat for 2 you know... or are you eating again it seems everytime I look up you've got something going in your mouth.
Are you keeping up the exercise? After all you still have to lose all this again and we don't want to make it harder than it has to be....
All things that were said to me personally when I was still in the office everyday. Pressure coming from all angles??

When I was TTC I remember reading an article about Jana Pittman who ran 9km's the day she went into labour.....
I personally couldn't run 9kms before being pregnant let alone at 33 weeks. and then in a weekly womens mag I saw at the supermarket today they had all the stars who gave birth last year and how much weight they lost in how many week and how you can do it too....
One of these starts purportedly lost 22 kilos in the 8 weeks after birth and you to can do it by living on celery and exercising 5 hours a day - good for BFing? Me thinks not.

Also in this article it states that there has been a sharp increase in "mummy makeovers" women who are booking in for lipo, a tummy tuck and a boob lift / implants not long after birth....

Why are we doing this to ourselves?

In the space of a generation how have we gone from being hidden away under tents and mumu's with pregnancy being quite a taboo subject to seeming to think we should be Heidi Klum with a bump? I mean after all she was in lingerie in a Victoria's Secret Parade 10 weeks after having her baby...... clearly achieveable for the rest of us......

Sorry this became a bit of a rant but it just breaks my heart to think that as women we can't just sit back and enjoy creating this beautiful creature without spending time obsessing about how we look and what people think of us.

My DF was reading this over my shoulder as I wrote it and was shocked to realise that I have been unhappy about my body because for all he could see I was pregnant and growing our son - my weight hasn;t even come into it for him and you could see that the fact that I have even been having these feelings amazed him.

As he said to me looking quite bemused "what exactly did I expect? "
and it's given me cause to wonder - what did I expect coming into this pregnancy and why am I still trying to apply these unrealistic expectations now knowing what I do and beating myself up when I don't manage to do what I seem to think I should???

Yep on boxing day I ate 4 funsized crunchies, a bubble o bill and half a christmas egg. It was 3 days ago why do I still feel guilty about it?

You know what the funny thing is everytime I see a pregnant lady in the street I honestly only think how lovely they look, I personally don't even look at their arms or legs or bum..... and I have recently realised that the majority of people we encounter don't look at ours either.....

Enjoy your bodies ladies - we get to do something that men will never experience and can only limitedly be involved in and we will only ever get to do it a limited amount of times.

I for one am going to relax and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy and make sure that the next time I am lucky enough to be carrying and protecting a little person inside of me that I am not going to waste my pg obsessing over the needle of the freaking scale.

Rub those bellies and rubensque bums and be bloody proud!!!!

[MantaRay]

I have to agree with you that it's ridiculous. And the pg books don't help either - constantly talking about putting on too much weight. What happened to being proud to be a mummy - regardless of the less than flat tummy and the boobs that will never be the same again?

[mrsmac]

Well said, here here!!

[AngelPunks]

I had a girlfriend with this - she knew it was wrong, it wasn't that she didn't eat, she just over-exercised - she just had no control over it, she tried to stop, heck she is a nurse, she knew what damage she could be doing her to baby but it was beyond anything she could control - heck she went on a 5km run the day before she had a c/s for her son (they couldn't turn him - he was breech). She cried when she saw him after he was born, knowing that his lack of bubba fat was probably due to her over-exercise, both mum and bub are perfectly fine now - he was within "normal" percentiles within a few weeks of breastfeeding and he is now a happy healthy 18 month old (who can happily wake a household of 10 people at 5am with his lungs)

So don't dismiss it as something trivial, something that is all the rage, it is as bad as anorexia, where it become a mental issue not a physical one.

[LaDeeDa]

Punkin - please don't think I was dismissing it I completely understand that it is a deadly serious condition...

Just questioning as women how we get to that point.....

[mountain mummy]

I agree, it is ridiculous, not to mention unhealthy!

I remember being distraught standing on the scales at 35 weeks pregnant with my 1st bub and seeing that I had put on 20kgs I was 27 at the time, so not exactly young per se, but to look at me from behind, I had barely put on weight ... it was literally all baby, fluid and placenta. I had weighed 47kg pre pregnancy, and I'm only 5ft tall, so all this extra weight absolutely astounded me! Not to mention I ate healthily, but exercise was hard - by 6 months i already had that waddle, and people were assuming I was close to my due date. I never got back to my pre preg weight and it doesn't worry me ... I have grown and nurtured 4 babies in and with this body, I wouldn't trade it for the world!!

ETA: I'm NOT saying the disease or the idea is ridiculous, I am merely saying that the expectation that women retain or revert to their former shape immediately after birth is!

[briggsy's girl]

Dee - i understand where you're coming from in ranting about the media and celebrity thing - they have personal trainers, chefs etc to help them get through pg and the "aftermath" looking perfect. hell, they have stylist to help them "hide" the imperfections as well

but i don't think that the pregorexia is coming about from this - it's a genuine issue that isn't fed by the media etc - it's something they have no control over at all! i think we need to sympathise as we would with someone with an eating disorder - it's a psychological condition that needs attention

i think there needs to be two seperate issues here - the pregorexia - and the media BS that we live with every day. they aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, but i doubt most of the cases of pregorexia are related to media at all.

[AngelPunks]

Just questioning as women how we get to that point.....

same as any eating disorder

My girlfriend knew every time she went to exercise to excess (like twice a day going on long runs) that it wasn't good for the baby, but she couldn't stop, it was an obsession with her. She looks at photos of him when he was first born and still cries now, because she knows he looked like that because of something she did but couldn't control, he is gorgeous now (not that he wasn't gorgeous then, it was just a shock to us all, him looking that skeletal), a healthy, happy, well fed, well adjusted toddler.

[LaDeeDa]

BG - i think u might be right.
this article didn't focus on the disease in itself as a stand alone as other articles do with anorexia or bulimia but as a factor of a general attitude in society.

please in no way think that i am diminishing the severity of the condition.......

[AnyDream]

I had a friend who regressed back into her bulimia while she was pregnant (she had a lot of emotional issues and a history of incest and being pregnant brought a lot of those issues back up for her). When her little boy was born he had a normal size skull and a weeny scrawny little undersized body. It was heartbreaking to see. I agree with BG, this is a separate and different issue to the pressure brought to bear on women by the media, other women etc.

Having said all that, many women are unneccessarily harsh on themselves and their self image during a time when their bodies are simply following a biological imperative. We are often prone to unfavorable self-comparison with other women, and yes those images of personally-trained, stylisted celebs do not help. But you can choose not to consume those magazines/tv shows, etc and read healthier, more empowering material instead.

[briggsy's girl]

it's funny - i simply don't read trashy mags - if i'm REALLY in need of a "trash" read, i'll grab something like that's life or take 5 - the gossip mags just don't do it for me! i watch TV and movies - but i don't associate that with reality - they're playing a part, and the image they project is more about the story line than the actor. i can distance myself from the shape of the actor and only see their performance. it has taken a long time to get there - as a teen, i had issues that led to eating disorder and i ended up almost dying in hospital from complications. i went through a lot of counselling to disassociate who i am from how i look. but for some people, that isn't possible - esp when an eating disorder (or exercise disorder as is the case here) hits unexpectedly at a point when they are in denial about the problems (ie during pregnancy - when they are going through so much that they believe all of it to be "normal").

i have had body issues both before and during this pregnancy already - so i can see how this would impact people to a huge degree. i find it distressing having anyone touch me or "look" for a belly as i am a larger person and feel like i'm being judged. people seem to have lost the ability to differentiate between my "fat" and my "baby" and i find it really disheartening. it would be very easy to slip into unhealthy habbits again but thankfully i have not, as yet, succumbed (thanks DH for being so supportive!)

[Indadhanu]

Eating disorders are so much more than skinny pictures in the magazine, and wanting to be thin. It's a serious and severe psychological disorder. It's about control, the food restriction and excessive exercise are only symptoms of something very very wrong inside. The need to control something when life seems to be spinning completely out of control.

You can take the pictures out of the magazine, it won't change a thing, it really has very little to do with it. It's all inside.

We need to provide more support to pregnant mothers, eliminate these 4 weekly appointments, pregnancy is a HUGE life changing event, and some mothers need more support than a 5 minute weigh-in, BP check, heartrate check every 4 weeks...

[Indadhanu]

... sorry, putting away my soap box now ...

[C~Q]

Wow thats scary I was so lucky with all my pregnancies (well the first two - pre recovery) in that it was like a blessed relief away from all the feelings of disgust with my body and food. Although I hated putting on weight I just didn't feel the same sense of loathing that I did when not pregnant. But honestly that was just luck.

I'd like to think that if i'd been feeling the same about myself, that I would put the welfare of the baby first but who knows...I know there were days where I couldn't get out of bed and look after the kids because I was so exhausted from eating nothing except cucumber. I hated them cuddling me because I felt I was so disgusting some of it would rub off onto them.

What i'm trying to say is eating disorders **** with your head in a way you can't even imagine. You really can't understand unless you've been through it. It's awful - it's like being in a violent relationship with yourself.

As for the media thing...well, it's a an argument that I don't think has a right or a wrong! I don't think a someone who isn't pre-disposed to ED tendancies would get an ED from the media but it certainly helps to facilitate those that do. I know I had an old exercise book that was FULL of pictures of supermodels. Every page was like a collage jammed with skinny limbs and protruding bones but that wasn't why I was sick.

The media doesn't knowingly encourage ED's but I remember reading an article about Pro-Anorexia websites (hadn't heard of them before). I jumped on the internet and I know I got a lot worse after that. It's was horrifying, some of the stuff on those websites gives me chills now.

So I suppose if you know someone who has pregorexia or something similar then all you can really do is be there for them. Anyone trying to bully me into anything only made me worse. Just be there and let them know you will help them when they need it.

[Cassius2]

i have to relate to the office comments. i got soooo many! i was called 'little piggy' on many occasions and small off the cuff comments about how 'you'll never get your body back'. i was like what body?? LOL! but seriously at the time it didnt bother me as i was just into growing my baby and if i felt like eating i ate. but the one i got and really rubbed me the wrong way was, 'you are not eating for two you know....'. it's just a demeaning comment not promoting any support or happiness.

and as for the mags, like leasha said if we are talking about eating disorders it of course goes much further than simple images in magazines; but if we are talking about a woman who has just had her baby and is being brought in a million magazines from well wishing friends and all the articles have some sort of pregnancy weight-loss theme it does get you down about the way you feel and look. at least this is from my personal experience. in the end i banned them from my room and just cut out the crosswords! LOL!

i like what DD said, just enjoy the pregnancy, enjoy the fact that we are growing brand-spanking new human beings and dont feel guilty over the chocolate!!!

you're all beautiful just the way you are.

[Lulu]

Gawd, my poor GF at work really copped it. I looked like i swallowed a basketball and she looked like a NORMAL pregnant woman. I couldn't believe all the comments about her weight that I heard. Way to encourage an eating disorder.....

Although there were a couple of girls that cheerfully admitted that they carry their babies in their bums and told her not to worry about the bollocks. I thought she looked totally AWESOME, she glowed.

[Toomanytoomany]

I've been telling myself how much I like the shape of my tummy and enjoying being able to revel in my big bump, blah blah, and then dh showed me pictures he took at Christmas and I just look fat and disgusting. (No, I am not fat and disgusting, I know that, rationally. I'm a little bit overweight and my face is a bit puffy, that's all.)

So I guess I'm not as immune as I thought I was.

Dee, it is hard - one thing I think about is how we were *allowed* to wear tents nearly twenty years ago when I was having my first baby, but now maternity clothes are going the same way as "normal" fashion and are clingy and are designed to show off the shape, taking away, I think, that feeling that now is the time when you can just let go and not care quite so much. And the sizing for many maternity lines is so *small*.

Motherhood used to be one of those freedom periods where you were released from the pressure of being young and gorgeous, but the "yummy mummy" phenomenon has done away with that, I think, to an extent. At my age - thirty nine - I sort of expected to be exempt from that so it was sobering this morning, looking at my photos, to realise that really I'm not.

[Mumma2three]

I think the media does have alot to do with it, because it is starting with our daughters when they are 6-8. They are conditioned to think thin and beautiful is the only way. You have to be very strong to avoid that these days.
And we see soooo many more pictures these days, and alot of women do feel it's important to lose weight quickly (gosh I hope I can again). The thing is though, media is not reality, but it doesn't stop us comparing.
Like CombatQueen said, I think if you're not predisposed to ED, the media won't cause it, but I think it certainly can help those that may not have suffered if it wasnt' in their face all the time. But I do think it comes down to many issues, not just seeing pictures.
I have found that I am more self conscious this time, and more worried that I won't go back to the "old" me, than I have been before. I hate putting on weight and I hate my pregnant body, with a passion. Love my baby, but don't like being pregnant. I won't diet in pregnancy, but I have thought about it. It's very hard when you have a low self esteem, or when you are judged on your looks, to not let it worry you.
I will just say I totally understand where people with body issues are coming from, and while it may be sad, i think many many women, are very conscious of how they look, as much as we'd like not to worry. And I just hope I can teach my daughter not to worry, but already at 10 she is very aware...