First of all. I'm sorry you are feeling so anxious at the prospect of birth.

It might help you to know you are not alone, there is a real phobia of childbirth called tocophobia. I am not suggesting this is necessarily what you have, but it is not abnormal to be having these feelings in preparation for birth. It is, however, very important that you discuss them with your care provider. It may be that between you, a decision for an elective CS is made. Or it may be that after counselling you are happy to have a vaginal birth.

Please be reassured that you can request no skin to skin until the baby has been checked. These checks only take a few moments and if it helps you relax for your pregnancy then it is worth the wait. Discuss this and your other concerns with your obstetrician or midwife. They will not be shocked or disappoint in you, just happy that you have opened up and taken steps to assist your own mental health at this time.

And please if you have any concerns like this feel free to post them here as no-body will judge you.

Trav
xx