Hey Honeybee,
Very annoying that you could get such conflicting advice and in such an uncaring patronising way.
Once again the medical world not covering itself in glory... but I do feel the need to say (I seem to say this a lot) that I promise not all doctors are so bad.
The truth is that the jury is out on bedrest. Studies have not shown that it helps at all but then it kind of seems kind of sensible so some doctors are reluctant to stop using it. And you're right it lays the burden with you which is not fair...and they should be listening you YOU, taking car of YOU in your pregnacny, not adding to your stress
Also...I think it might be worth discussing some counsellling with your GP. Its covered by medicare now and might help with your totally understandable anxiety.