strong opinions on finding out the sex of your baby
Have to get this off my chest.....
Ok so I have always wanted to find out the sex of my baby... and completely get it that it is a personal preference and some people are strongly one way or the other. BUT I don't understand when people ask you if you are finding out and you say yes they get SO angry!
I would never push my opinion on anyone but for some reason I am getting it from every direction... only on DH side though...
His sister almost blew my head off and his best friend (yes a male) emailed us telling my DH to 'try and change my mind'
ARE YOU SERIOUS!!????? are you carrying the baby? Are you the father of the baby??? I am so angry!
NOT AT ALL!!! I have a close friend who for my entire pregnancy with DD said not to find out and was "disappointed" when we did... uhhhh its MY baby!
Then this pregnancy everytime i see her its "remember, say it with me... I WILL NOT FIND OUT THE SEX OF MY BABY.."
Her reasoning is that when the baby is born people wont care as much "oh you had the baby.." ... ummm this baby will be grand baby number 10 on my DPs side and we all still get very excited when a new baby is born. And if no one cares then they aren't really our friends are they and who thinks like that anyways??
Oh my goodness In one who's pretty well in the "don't find out" camp, but I'd never go off at someone for finding out! I might ask them not to tell me if they're family and I'd like to be surprised myself, but I don't really care that much...
I've had a similar opposite reaction though, someone got annoyed at me for NOT finding out.
How ridiculous that people have such a strong opinion on something that is totally your choice. I guess I just don't see the big deal. I desperately wanted to know with my DS andso did hubby, so we found out at 19 weeks. We knew what DD would be before conception. This bub came as quite a surprise, so this time around I've decided to keep the secret and I have no idea what this bub is. Hubby has known the gender since 12 weeks though. *shrug* I just don't see how that impacts anyone else's life
Remember, an opinion is not a fact. It's just one person's belief or preference. Ignore them. It's none of their business.
You'll also find people like to share their opinions about names. For this reason we would excitedly tell people made up names, rather than hear them tell us they didnt like our name preferences.
The need to try to change your mind is just a projection of their own issues. Just imagine holding a mirror up to them and sending their opinions back to them.
I am glad I am not the only one... i totally get you are either one or the other but I would never put my views that strongly onto someone else... and make them feel guilty for choosing one way or the other!
I dont want to walk on egg shells worrying about how someone is going to react... its not fair!
I agree with the others tell them to mind there own business, i found out all four and never had an issue, this one was such a surprise im determined not to find out, im just hoping my will power holds out
You're not over reacting at all - I wish there was some way to block it out because feeling judged for your decisions at a time like this is really not fair.
I always think it would be nice to leave it a surprise to start with but change my mind well and truly before the morph scan lol - its no ones business but your own. Can your DH tell them to butt out??
I guess I dont take things like that personally. No one can make you feel guilty without your permission. Just let go through to the keeper.
You could send a return email saying:
Thank you for offering your opinion on our parenting choices. Should we feel the need for your advice on this or any other decisions we make during the life of our child, we'll be sure to ask you.
I understand that people have strong ideas about it and they either will or they wont do it, but I don't get why people get hung up over other people doing it? It's none of their business and I'd be telling this person to pull their head in and butt the **** out. It's like when DH and I were getting married and his brother told us we couldn't have kids until he owned some land! I was like WTF? I told him that when we have kids is for us to decide, not him. There were a few other choice words thrown in there too. Good thing I didn't take his advice because we'd only have half as many kids as we do now. But he's a real wa.nker though.
Did you clarify that you aren't giving the baby a sex change, nor are you going to decide not to have the baby because it is a particular sex For goodness sake, you are just finding out what is already there!
We got accused of knowing and not telling and got hounded constantly - because we didn't want to find out! So opposite problem, but totally understand!
Opposite here, did not find out and were abused over it. Once work colleague was so angry I thought he was about to commit violence over it Boy he ranted on for ages about how we would not be able to plan etc
I think it says more about them than yourself. Even if they do care (I am not a fan of finding out and hate being told the gender), it is how you handle it. I would never get angry at anyone for choosing to.
We had the opposite, everyone thought we were crazy for not finding out.
Over the last 12 months I've come to realise that no matter what you do someone will have a problem with it "know better" or flat try to ram the opposite of what your doing down your throat as if it's the only way to do something.
If your happy with what your doing ignore them and try not to let it worry you or tell them your doing what's right for you and your partner and is none of their business so butt out.
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strong opinions on finding out the sex of your baby
In one who's pretty well in the "don't find out" camp, but I'd never go off at someone for finding out! I might ask them not to tell me if they're family and I'd like to be surprised myself, but I don't really care that much...
For goodness sake, you are just finding out what is already there!
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