Well, I went and had an ultrasound yesterday afternoon...
Scan went really well, bub looks happy and healthy. I didn't want to seem to anxious to find out the gender so I waited until the sonographer said something so I could slip in a hint. So when she spoke of the bladder I asked if you could tell the gender at this stage, and she said, yes, but bub has it's leg tightly clamped together. So I'll have another look at the end of the scan.
Anyway she went over hte area a few times and I knew what i was looking at and said, "looks like a girl".
She sort of smiled and said, "it does look like it, but not totally sure, we'll have another look when you come back in a few weeks".
So looks like my intuition was right... I kept imagining hearing, "it's a boy", but I knew as soon as the scan started it wasn't to be Oh well.
When I got to the car I had a big cry, can't help it. I tried so hard, I feel like a failure. I know I am happy bub is healthy, but I feel a little disconnected, I know it'll change... eventually, I am still feeling VERY down about it today and I didn't sleep very much last night. ATM I am having a but of trouble with the idea.
Wato is fine with it, and is even finding it a little hard to understand where I am coming from. I guess I was the one who would have like a little boy most.
Apparently in about 7 months I will be a qualified midwife - yikes!
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Awww Tanya, I can totally understand! I had not even thought of the sex for this baby as I just couldn't deal with the let down of have another of the same sex.
I can also understand your feeling of being disconnected - I think we do it for self preservation until we can sort through it a bit iykwim.
I am assuming this was your early scan? I was told at my 12 week scan with DS NO 2 that I was having a girl, and then found out at my 20 week scan that it was in fact a boy. Not to say your sonographer didn't know what they were doing, but you never know it just may have been a little to early to see clearly!
((hugs)) to you! I'm sure you will love your little one no matter not, but for now give yourself time to grieve for what might have been. Be kind to yourself - what you are feeling is normal and ok.
^ I agree with Lea, don't feel guilty your feelings are valid and normal and just need some working through.
I was told my son was a girl at a scan I had at 14w, and he was very clearly a boy by the time the big scan was done at 20w. It's not set in stone yet.
Oh Tanya I know that you are very happy to have a healthy bub, but I also know how much you have wanted a boy this pg.
I'm with the others, can you maybe pretend like you haven't heard, and go back for another scan in a month? I think it just might be too early, and the sonographer perhaps couldn't get a good view. Not that I want to get your hopes up, but I'd hate for you to be all upset when they're not even sure at this stage.
I know I haven't been in your situation, but although I honestly don't mind what the sex of this bub is, I would really like a boy at some point. I imagine it would take some getting used to the idea of only having girls.
I know you will come to terms with it, whatever the sex may be, but know that we're all here for you.
{{hugs}} I'm finding the pregnancy emotions and feelings hard to deal with and sometimes confusing. You'll find that you will love your baby wether a boy or a girl. I've had 3 girls and I've just found out that I'm hving another girl, but the sonographer said she wasn't a 100% sure and she'd have a look at the 19 weeks scan. I couldn't see any boy bits so I'm sure it's a girl.
At least you've found out now and have time to adjust your thinking and how you feel about having a girl. Take care
Tanya I so understand how you are feeling. I deeply wanted a little girl and was so upset. It is hard to be torn between loving the baby you are nurturing and grieving for the one you wanted to have.
I had a scan at 25 weeks partly because I wanted a 4D one and partly because I was holding onto the hope that the sonographer made a mistake. She wasn't wrong and it was confirmed that Caleb was a boy.
Even up to the moment he was born I still was secretly hoping they were both wrong.
I love him to bits and couldn't imagine for a second not having him now.
I still think and hope that one day there will be a little girl for me, but I'm not sure I can go through that all again. I don't think DH can either for that matter.
Tanya, im sorry to hear your upset.... i have a feeling in a few weeks i will be experiencing those same emotions you have been. Im expecting #3 and would LOVE another girl. Im one of four girls and i havent really had much to do with boys......i am actually in a bit of denial that it can be a boy. I have read your posts and i know you really researched into gender swaying. I think its totally normal to feel what your feeling, seeing as you did put so much 'behind the scene' research into it.....i personally envy you, i would LOVE 4 little girls.....but in saying all that, can you get a 2nd opinion ?
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Time to come clean...
Tanya!
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