too young?

[Mich83]

i'm going to try for a baby soon, i'm completely happy and excited but one thing does bother me. i'm 28, but look like i'm about 22. i often get asked for ID so i definately look alot younger than i am. i dont mind looking young, but i'm concerned that when i have a big belly bump some people in the street might look at me - or stare at me like i am too young to be pregnant.
i dont really care if they look but i'd be very embarrased if a stranger came up to me and told me i was too young or something.

has anyone had experience with this?

[Mollie89]

Im 22, and look about 17... I am married and expecting my first child, I get asked for ID all the time..

When I was 17 I took my little cousin out for the day (mind you he does look like me) and some old bat came up to me and said "you should be ashamed of yourself, having a child this young, blah blah blah, rant rant rant" I just looked at her and told her she must be stark raving mad!!!

If people staring at you doesnt bother you, then dont worry about what they say.. As long as you are content with your life, and your choices, then who cares what people you dont even know thing IYKWIM...

[*Sparklez*]

I'm 26 and look 17 too I had the stares the comments the obscene passer by comments it's crazy..
I have 4 kids and I was 16 with my first so if I'm 26 imagine what I looked like at 16.
I got the whole nine yards lectures, people staring in disgust the omg and shake of the head and then when I was 17 and pregnant with a child in the stroller it was even worse.
I still get the omg stare when people hear my eldest yell out mum and I reply. I had a lady comment the other day " what foes your mother think of you"? And it wasn't in a nice tone neither, and I replied my mother thinks I'm a great mum and even if she didn't it's not really her choice is it?


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[PumpkinZulu]

On the flip side, I am nearly 21, I look about 17, and I've not had one nasty stare or comment, only smiles and questions about how long to go and is this my first lol. So people may surprise you

[corolla_chick]

poeple should mind thier own business!!

ps... i also get told i look young for my age..... it will be great when we are 40

[Catastrophic]

If they do say something to you, tell them to pull their head it. Its none of their business.

[Mich83]

tell me about it - some people are so rude. its like 'who do you think you are?'.

a girl i know is gay, has a partner and kids. and when they are out shopping etc, some people would come up to them and ask them who the mother is, and all these other questions and they're just like 'leave us alone we're just trying to do our shopping here'.

i will just tell them where to go, but i hope it doesn't happen. i'll just show them my wedding ring and tell them i'm 28, and ask if thats okay! ha ha.

[Mich83]

Mrs S - sorry to hear you had to go through that. some people judge too quickly.

i guess the satisfaction you have is knowing you are not one of those people and you are doing what is right for you.

[Rainbow_Mumma]

I get this everyday, I'm 24 and expecting 4 & 5 but I look about 17. I had my 1st at 15 and get really bad treatment in hospital when having to explain past pregnancies and history especially as my 1st born passed away but they just assume I was a **** who slept around not that i was sexually assaulted.

[minniemouse]

i was doing nanny work when i was 17, i had two children under 18 months to look after, i always used to get comments from people like are they both yours ??!! and usually i couldn't help myself and would say yep and their 5 year old brother at school, that shut them up !

i honestly wouldn't worry about it, people always criticise for one reason or another so if your want to do it good luck !

[~clover~]

I wouldn't stress too much. At 17/18 I had people look at me, but noone ever said anything.
The only thing I've ever had was 'is this your first?' & things along the lines of them getting worse when they get older etc.
I'm 27 this year & people assume my younger 2 are my only ones. They do a double take when I tell them about the 2 at school

[LimeSlice]

On the flip side, I am nearly 21, I look about 17, and I've not had one nasty stare or comment, only smiles and questions about how long to go and is this my first lol. So people may surprise you

Never ever thought you looked 17! lol You look older with your glasses on though

Mich - Bugger them...if someone does say something stupid, you should just tell them that you and your cousin got married at 13 and live in the trailer park with your other 3 children....

[Gigi]

You'll cop public comments, no matter WHAT age you are, so really hon, do what suits YOU, not anonymous jo blow public.

I was pregnant at 39, and constantly got judged for that, by complete strangers who had no idea of my history or situation.
You'll be called the grandma, not the mother
Why did you wait so long
Don't you know about the medical risks of being an older mum? How could you risk your child's health like that?
DOn't you think you're selfish, waiting so long?

so, no matter what age you are, people will find SOMETHING to comment on.

having a child is the best thing i ever did (can't say it was a choice when it happened, it was so hard to become pregnant) - and fielding the ridiculous comments - the comments fade, the people walk on, but you still have your child.

The other thing, not everyone "shows" as obviously as others. I didn't look obviously pregnant until around six months preg. I was so proud to be pregnant, i WANTED my bump to be obvious, but people just assumed i was getting tubby, not pregnant.

I wish you all the best in conceiving your bub, and enjoy your pregnancy. You'll find pro-pregnancy environments, like ABA meetings, and for me, the weekly pregnancy hydrotherapy classes at the Women's Hospital, were a great source of support.

Becoming a parent means you have to develop a thicker skin, to survive all the comments. (on so many aspects of parenting). This was a shock to me, i had no idea complete strangers would feel so free to come out with all this stuff.

[Cherished]

I find it strange that people would say anything to you. What's it got to do with others anyway. I don't think it would matter where you are in life or what age you are, some people will always have something stupid to say. For example I got engaged at 29. married at 31 and had our baby at 33 and people STILL said things like "oh wait until you have a baby you're still so young" wtf? what am I meant to be waiting for? Life is good we are actually ready for a baby, what they hell are they on about lol Do whatever is right for you and ignore any looks or stupid comments.

[mummydreamer]

yes im 27 now but still look young. me and DH were married at 19 and i was 21 and pregnant. you should have seen people's faces when i had DS and was pregnant with DD at 22, people would give DH nasty looks! it was also funny to see people counting backwards in their heads trying to work out if it was shotgun wedding or not, trying to work out DS's age with when we got married! Lol.

i say who cares, and if anyone dares make a comment to you, make them regret it, it's none if their business!!

[allycat06]

I'm 24 but look about 19, I get looks from time to time but you just learn to ignore them. I think more often than not people are simply curious not judging. My mum told me when I was a baby she was walking around the supermarket with me in the pram and some old lady came up for a stickybeak and shook her head and said 'how sad, you're so young' then walked off. Mum had me at 33!!

[Starlite]

Im 23 and pass for about 18 these days, looked around 17 when I was pregnant with DS. I only had the occasional person look at me funny, probably because I never got very big, and they were probably thinking 'i wonder if she's fat or pregnant!'. And then when I finally got a belly, the majority of people were very polite.

It never really bothered me, I think, that how you feel about your pregnancy will reflect in the way you look, and therefore how people will receive you. If you walk around feeling self conscious, people will see that and start to think. But if you walk around, without doubt, let your happiness show, people will feel that vibe!! And if they still have the nerve to give you a look... look them right in the eye untill they get the message, dare them to say something.... 9 times out of 10, they will walk away feeling ashamed of themselves!

[Charlotte91]

I turned 19 only 31 days before DD was born. I got a few looks, but DP and I always hold hands whenever we're out and we'd be walking along and he'd rub my belly. He was so proud of our little fighter (he turned 24 two months before DD was born).

I got a few comments about how young I was and a few strange looks. But I never cared. I was sooo excited when i got pregnant (although DP and I had only been together 2 months, whoops!!) and I couldn't wait to tell everyone. DP was happy, but not over the moon until my 12 week scan and it became real for him.

I get a few comments when I carry DD around (She's still under 5kg, so we tend to carry her instead of using the pram if we're doing grocery shopping or something).
"Is she yours" I've got a few times.

If you're emotionally ready for a bub, don't let anyone place doubt in your mind.