too young?

[Mich83]

i'm going to try for a baby soon, i'm completely happy and excited but one thing does bother me. i'm 28, but look like i'm about 22. i often get asked for ID so i definately look alot younger than i am. i dont mind looking young, but i'm concerned that when i have a big belly bump some people in the street might look at me - or stare at me like i am too young to be pregnant.
i dont really care if they look but i'd be very embarrased if a stranger came up to me and told me i was too young or something.

has anyone had experience with this?

[Mollie89]

Im 22, and look about 17... I am married and expecting my first child, I get asked for ID all the time..

When I was 17 I took my little cousin out for the day (mind you he does look like me) and some old bat came up to me and said "you should be ashamed of yourself, having a child this young, blah blah blah, rant rant rant" I just looked at her and told her she must be stark raving mad!!!

If people staring at you doesnt bother you, then dont worry about what they say.. As long as you are content with your life, and your choices, then who cares what people you dont even know thing IYKWIM...

[*Sparklez*]

I'm 26 and look 17 too I had the stares the comments the obscene passer by comments it's crazy..
I have 4 kids and I was 16 with my first so if I'm 26 imagine what I looked like at 16.
I got the whole nine yards lectures, people staring in disgust the omg and shake of the head and then when I was 17 and pregnant with a child in the stroller it was even worse.
I still get the omg stare when people hear my eldest yell out mum and I reply. I had a lady comment the other day " what foes your mother think of you"? And it wasn't in a nice tone neither, and I replied my mother thinks I'm a great mum and even if she didn't it's not really her choice is it?


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[PumpkinZulu]

On the flip side, I am nearly 21, I look about 17, and I've not had one nasty stare or comment, only smiles and questions about how long to go and is this my first lol. So people may surprise you

[corolla_chick]

poeple should mind thier own business!!

ps... i also get told i look young for my age..... it will be great when we are 40

[Catastrophic]

If they do say something to you, tell them to pull their head it. Its none of their business.

[minniemouse]

i was doing nanny work when i was 17, i had two children under 18 months to look after, i always used to get comments from people like are they both yours ??!! and usually i couldn't help myself and would say yep and their 5 year old brother at school, that shut them up !

i honestly wouldn't worry about it, people always criticise for one reason or another so if your want to do it good luck !

[Rainbow_Mumma]

I get this everyday, I'm 24 and expecting 4 & 5 but I look about 17. I had my 1st at 15 and get really bad treatment in hospital when having to explain past pregnancies and history especially as my 1st born passed away but they just assume I was a **** who slept around not that i was sexually assaulted.

[Mich83]

tell me about it - some people are so rude. its like 'who do you think you are?'.

a girl i know is gay, has a partner and kids. and when they are out shopping etc, some people would come up to them and ask them who the mother is, and all these other questions and they're just like 'leave us alone we're just trying to do our shopping here'.

i will just tell them where to go, but i hope it doesn't happen. i'll just show them my wedding ring and tell them i'm 28, and ask if thats okay! ha ha.

[Mich83]

Mrs S - sorry to hear you had to go through that. some people judge too quickly.

i guess the satisfaction you have is knowing you are not one of those people and you are doing what is right for you.

[~clover~]

I wouldn't stress too much. At 17/18 I had people look at me, but noone ever said anything.
The only thing I've ever had was 'is this your first?' & things along the lines of them getting worse when they get older etc.
I'm 27 this year & people assume my younger 2 are my only ones. They do a double take when I tell them about the 2 at school

[courts&munchkins]

I am 24, 25 this year and I have 3 children. My first one at 21. My kids were planned, I am married but the amount of "looks" I get is incredible. Everyone has a comment, everyone has an opinion. Everyone is always going wow, all these are yours. You are way to young for children. Everyone just stares at me when I am out with the 3 of them. I am really young looking too and even though I was 21 when my first was born I looked about 16 and I got the filthiest looks and comments. It really made me feel for actual teenage mothers.

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[mummy of 3 boys]

i only just turned 24 like 3 weeks ago i probably dont look 24 but i never get asked for ID bummer huh lol and i have 2 boys

i was 20 when pregnant with DS1 and i turned 21 the day after he was born, i did get ALOT of looks but it was funny when i would just grab my DF's hand and smile at them as if to say 'yep we are happy and proud to be parents' and they would usually look away

it never bothered me with their comments i would just gush about how excited i am and how happy we are and honestly they couldnt really say much at all OR i also just found smiling at them when their people who stand at a distance away and stare and talk to whoever is with them but look at you while talking and you know they are talking about you, smiling at them can actually make them look away cause they realise you know their talking about you!

Goodluck hun, the thing i have found is there are alot more younger generations having children these days so its basically becoming a natural thing so i wouldnt be too concerned, the thing on looking young enjoy it makes you feel good doesnt it

[Cranky Kitten]

Something we all learn in our parenthood journey - there is always someone to judge no matter what it is we are doing. We really are damned if we do, damned if we don't so may as well make the best of it and do what feels right for you. People will judge you for having children too young (28? Sheesh, you're plenty old enough and just lucky to look young) too old, too fat, too thin too I don't know, green with purple polka dots.

I found it best to simply smile, thank them for their opinion and continue on with what I am doing, as usually they're projecting their own prejudices and insecurities onto you. Best of luck when you do start trying for a baby hon, try not to let people get to you.

[KittyK]

I always get asked for ID too, just before I got pg last year I got asked for ID when buying a scratchie. I didnt know they still did that anymore!

I have just had my 1st baby and no one has ever said anything bad or judgemental to me, all I've gotten are the when are you due? Oh how old is he? etc. Don't know what I would do if someone tried to go all judgemental on me. If someone did say something awful to me I'd probably just tell them to buggar off. Or flash the wedding ring

But yeah never had anyone say anything....maybe i don't look as young as I think I do

[~Kaz~]

When you do have a big belly you won't care what other people think. You'll be too happy at your own good fortune.

Oh.....and what Cranky Kitten said is so true. It starts when you fall pg and just continues throughout the years. Someone will always be judgemental about something. Don't waste energy worrying about it. Especially when it hasn't happened yet. As a PP said, people may surprise you with how happy and supportive they can be.

All the best!

[LimeSlice]

On the flip side, I am nearly 21, I look about 17, and I've not had one nasty stare or comment, only smiles and questions about how long to go and is this my first lol. So people may surprise you

Never ever thought you looked 17! lol You look older with your glasses on though

Mich - Bugger them...if someone does say something stupid, you should just tell them that you and your cousin got married at 13 and live in the trailer park with your other 3 children....

[Gigi]

You'll cop public comments, no matter WHAT age you are, so really hon, do what suits YOU, not anonymous jo blow public.

I was pregnant at 39, and constantly got judged for that, by complete strangers who had no idea of my history or situation.
You'll be called the grandma, not the mother
Why did you wait so long
Don't you know about the medical risks of being an older mum? How could you risk your child's health like that?
DOn't you think you're selfish, waiting so long?

so, no matter what age you are, people will find SOMETHING to comment on.

having a child is the best thing i ever did (can't say it was a choice when it happened, it was so hard to become pregnant) - and fielding the ridiculous comments - the comments fade, the people walk on, but you still have your child.

The other thing, not everyone "shows" as obviously as others. I didn't look obviously pregnant until around six months preg. I was so proud to be pregnant, i WANTED my bump to be obvious, but people just assumed i was getting tubby, not pregnant.

I wish you all the best in conceiving your bub, and enjoy your pregnancy. You'll find pro-pregnancy environments, like ABA meetings, and for me, the weekly pregnancy hydrotherapy classes at the Women's Hospital, were a great source of support.

Becoming a parent means you have to develop a thicker skin, to survive all the comments. (on so many aspects of parenting). This was a shock to me, i had no idea complete strangers would feel so free to come out with all this stuff.