Today 27/11/09 my wife and I get really excited about getting our 18 week scan, and the fact we can get it put on DVD! So after the initial hassle of the hospital that will be taking care of us over the course of the pregnancy saying that they're all booked up for several weeks and recommending we try going to the other medical centre down the road for it. We book it in (care of my wife's mum) and settle in for about a weeks build up of excitement.
We get there, not having been told we need the referal page, and tell them we have the appointment. They ask for the referal page and we reply that we didn't have it with us (considering it was reffered to the hospital, not this centre). The lady calls the records centre and we find that the referal had not been put into my wife's file! So our only two options were hope a doctor at the clinic (which was apparently having a busy morning) could spare some time to look at the medical history and write the referal on face value or go home grab the sheet and come back. After telling us this and me telling them it would take approximately 20mins minimum to go get the sheet, they told us that they wouldn't be able to do the scan today and the next earliest time they had was 2:45pm Monday (at which time I have work!). My wife being upset and angry about the situation, even when I told her I was working on that time snaps "I Dont Care!" and then waits while the appointment card is filled out then promptly storms off leaving
me behind to tell her mum (who had just arrived) what had happened.
I feel bad for not having the forethought to grab the slip "just in case". But I also feel a little angry because my wife knows how much I want to be there for all the ultrasounds, antenatal classes etc. And she blatantly disregarded my emotions just because she was angry. Fair enough we were both looking forward to this, (her apparently more than me) but could it really have killed her to just take a step back and try to work out a time that would allow me to see it as well?
how frustrating for the 2 of you!!
can she call the centre back and change the time so that u are able to go to?
or can u get an hour or so off work to see your baby??
i know she did it in a huff, but try and remember that even though u know everything is fine with the baby its still very stressfull and a very very anxious wait to see your baby is still fine. i know u feel this way aswell but your wife is incredibly hormonal and emotional at this point in time.
i really hope u can rearrange the appoinment so you get to go to.
Let us know how u go
Let her cool down. After all the build up of excitement, it was such a major anticlimax for the two of you and she didn't handle it as well as you did. She may realise all on her own over the next few hours that she isn't being fair to you.
Given that today is Friday, perhaps you could ring the centre yourself and see if there are any other appointments, maybe even later on the Monday, that you could fit in with? Don't actually change the appointment without telling your DW first, get some options and then talk to her about it.
Or lastly...and this is probably what I would try and do first...go hat in hand to your boss today and beg and plead for an hour or so off on Monday to attend the scan.
errrgh i had the same thing happen to me my dp took the day off work which is loss in income to come with me to be told no and to go home i went and saw my gp straight after and sorted it out but i was upset only just got my first scan on wensday at 20 weeks these places dont understand that sometimes we want both parents there to see bub and well a little tact would be nice not everyone rembers to bringa referal and wats a 20 min wait to run back and get that form
The same thing happened to me when I was going for an US.. the Us place called through to my Dr and got them to fax through the referal.. Can't your original Dr do this? redo another one and fax it through??
Aaaaanyway, I've already explained (once it took me three hours to calm down) that I accepted the 2:45 appointment coz 1. I was angry and 2. I didn't care at that point who would be excluded or hurt by it, I'd waited long enough to see Smudge again. I wasn't waiting an extra minute to save someone else's feelings, even yours... I feel horrible for it now, but you know I'll be letting you know right away how it goes, and we'll of course watch the dvd a million times on Monday night
I'm still p!ssed off at that woman, I really think she should have fudged it a bit and let you run off to get the form while I waited
skybie: I'm not changing the time. I was annoyed enough as it was that we had to wait all week until Friday when I wanted it on Tuesday. Plus they're really busy all the time so they might not have been able to get me in when Scott's not at work, and before my hospital appointment on Thursday.
Curly: He starts work at 2 and finishes at about midnight, so we couldn't have it on Monday at all since the earliest appointment was 2:45
aussienic: We were referred from the hospital, I'm not doing shared care (my GP's clinic is hopeless, I have to remind them every time I'm there that I'm pregnant so they don't prescribe me anything harmful to Smudge) so they didn't even know I was having an ultrasound.
If you really think your boss wouldn't be up for a bit of negotiating, for the sake of an hour and a half I'd be faking car trouble, medical problem, whatever, if it is this important to you and you aren't willing to change the appointment.
FWIW (and I know you are excited and want it done asap) the scan is usually performed between 18-20 weeks so if you are only 18 weeks you have some time up your sleeve.
I really don't see why they couldn't do the scan and then afterwards you could run back and get the referral and bring it back to them and they could then tabulate your results, but I guess that is neither here nor there now.
Ultrasound difficulties
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