welcome to BB Dylan - you've come to a great place for advice

firstly - congratulations on your bub! awesome news!!!

with regard to the consultant - i would personally be putting in a complaint to the hospital - there is NO way that this sort of thing should be happening! i don't know your wife's exact situation, and i don't want to pry at all - but ANYTHING that your partner considered traumatic - no matter the consultants personal opinion - should be shown the utmost respect by the consultant!

it is likely to be hard - and it may be easier for you to take what your wife has told you and lodge the complaint on her behalf - but i believe you seriously need to address this - if for no other reason than to give your wife back some power within herself with regard to the process. my guess is that, at the moment, she's feeling more than a little lost, and like things are outside of her control - making it known that you won't stand for that sort of behaviour may help her to regain that feeling of being in control of her self.

you're doing a great thing coming here to ask for advice Dylan - this is my opinion only, and you're sure to get other comments - take from them what is most suitable for yourself. your wife, and your situation, and i truly hope you get some sort of resolution soon

Good Luck

BG