Just wanted to get everyone's opinion on having visitors in hospital. How long did you wait to let people come to visit? Would you do it differently next time?
I was thinking about waiting 24 hours after bubs was born before having visitors as this is our first and I just want it to be the three of us. Or is this nasty to family/friends?
Unfortunately my IL's were there at the hospital because we got the car seat installed that day and they had to drop the car off for DH. So they came in after my c-section (like RIGHT AFTER)...
My mum and the rest of DH's family came in the following day.
My friends and my siblings came the day after that (I was in there for 5 days).
This time I'm hoping that I will only be in there for 3 days, so everyone can just hold their horses until I'm ready to see them (like the 2nd day or something.. )
My mum came in about an hour or 2 after I had DD. She was staying with us at the time & DH had to go home to get my medication as I was still vomitting & he brought mum back with him for a short visit. I really didnt mind, I prob would have if there were more people though but just my mum was fine. She also wanted to be at the birth & we said no so I did feel a little for her that she missed out on the birth (she's been at all my siblings births) so i was happy to show off my beautiful little princess to one person that night.
I did have one friend who kept smsing, throughout the labour (even though DH smsed back saying I was in labour & would like to be left alone for now) then the following day asking when she could come in etc etc so she popped in the morning after having DD.
The IL's waited until the following day & I think DD's Godparents did too.
After that I had people popping in & out now & then.
I was in for 5 days. I stayed as long as I could hehehe I'm pretty sure you cant stay that long anymore for VAG births though
I wouldn't change it. I was happy with the timing & the flow of my visitors.
I do think you should discuss it with your DH though & have a plan so he can let people know when they can come to visit (eg minimum of 12 hours or 24 hours after the birth?) & organise that only family or closest friends come first then the others in the later days??
I had Oscar at 5pm on a Friday night. We had our parents waiting to come into our room before I was even in it!! As I was brought up from recovery I thought DH's Mum was about to jump on the bed to see our new bubba. Once I got settled and all my stuff was in my room I allowed my Mum to come in while they dressed Oscar and fixed me up a bit. However, DH's family who we don't get along with all the well really ruined our first night by trying to take Oscar off whoever had him.
Sorry for the ramble BUT it really is up to you hun. Make it very clear that you will let people know when YOU are ready for visitors, not when they are ready. Those first few hours are so important and special hun. There will be plenty of time for people to visit you and bubs. If you tell people that you don't want visitors until you are ready they should respect your decision and at least the ball will be in your court hun. You might decided you both want to share your bubba straight away but it's best to leave your options open iykwim?!
i had a few visitors at the hospital. it wasnt too bad cause they have to leave during certain rest times. when i got home though i told everyone that i wanted a day and night to ourselves just the three of us.
That's exactly what I thought, if we tell people to wait to be invited, then they know our wishes and if we decide that we want people there straight away we can do that also.
I could think of nothing worse than having family waiting outside, I want to establish breastfeeding ect and just get our heads around our new arrival.
I forgot to add.. you will all be exhausted too!! I know that I was nearly falling asleep when everyone was in my room not even 2 hours after I gave birth!!
Another way to delay people coming to hospital is to wait to tell them that you've had bubs. So if you don't want them there until the next day, don't call them until the next day maybe. Although you and DH have to be on the same page with this. I thought my DP & I were ie thought we'd agreed to tell my parents & his Mum first, then our siblings, but he called his brother who came straight away, while I was still in recovery, before my parents arrived. Which kind of p'd me off, as I wanted my mum & dad to be the first. Although I am over it now
Also, the midwives at my hospital were great, they were very happy to police the visiting situation for me if required, so that they were the bad guys not me.
I would definitely do things differently next time!
We had a whole troupe of visitors (uninvited!) come through on the day my DD was born. we were both exhausted trying to establish feeding and recover from the labour and it was just arduous. my DH was so excited though and kept telling people that it was ok.
He even brought his best mate in only 3 hours after DD was born!! i was so not impressed!
Next time around i would have a very firm 24 hour policy.
Another thing that i found tricky was that people would stay the whole visiting time. it was very tiring and we found that there wasnt that much time for our family to get to know bubs one on one IYKWIM.
There is plenty of time for people to visit you once you are out of hospital. it is a much more welcome time as well as in those first weeks you might be lucky enough to have your DP or DH around to help manage the visitors.
Good luck with everything! your ticker is on the fast track to 40 weeks now!
With my 1st one I had a forceps delivery under a general so was totally unaware of how many people were at the hospital lol. I do know that not only were my 4 support people there but my mum was in the waiting room so they all got to see her before I did.
My 2nd, 3rd and 4th were at night time so everyone had to wait until the next day anyway. I didn't have that many visitors so we were still able to bond heaps as well as socialise.
This time I'm hoping to have some time with just my df and I and the bubs before the hordes descend lol. I'm sure though that the other kids and my mum and friends will all be visiting when they can.
Set your own rules and make sure staff and partner are aware of what they are. You can have your time together before everyone else comes in.
Registered User
Visitors in hospital
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks