Opposite here...lol.. I really hope I get a gentle one next time V is crazy but I love her and wouldnt change a thing although I am glad the worst seems to be over...for now,,,,
I have the same concerns as you, but i am trying to tell myself that i didnt know what i was doing last time, i have learned the better/gentler way to do things now, so hopefully this time around i will know what to do... but maybe not.
I think that it is normal for everyone to have these concerns, just the same as in the lead up to the first one, reality sort of hits and you thing OMG WHAT am i doing? HOW will i cope?
i think that it going to be adjustment.
And i dont think that you will stuff up P's life, you are going to give her the sibling that she will really want and need at some point (MJ is desperate for a little playmate now and DSS would have loved to have someone close to his age) Of course there will be an adjustment time, but there will be so many more positives for her than negatives in the long run.
Tell your Mum to keep her comments to herself, its hard enough these thoughs entering your head at times, but being told them is just totally uncalled for
I havent' read all the posts but I can totally relate. I'm pregnant with our first and I've had DP's family tell me that because DP was a hell demon baby, that this one will be. I was an easy baby, my bro was a terror.
You know what? I reckon those kind of predictions are total bollocks. When I was studying attachment theory as a part of my counselling course they went on and on about how poeple are born with a certain temperament and that's the way they are. Sometimes it can be related back through the family (in a genetic way, I suppose) but there is no way to tell what the babe will be like until you get to know it.
There are heaps of other factors (like Mum's coping style and her own experience in early childhood attachment as a child) but I wouldn't worry at all - as everyone has said.
When my DP's mother warns me about the possibility I quietly think "well, I would have been a hell demon baby too if you were my mother!" (She can be a total piece of work).
I wrote this huge long thing about differences between babies and blah blah but I got rid of it because I think what it comes down to is this: when people give you advice/their opinion about anything to do with children and parenting and whatever, they're basing it on their experiences... at least, that's what I have to think whenever my mum weighs in. She said so many times when I was pregnant with T, "oh, how are you going to cope with them so close in age/you'll have your hands full/you'll certainly be very busy" etc etc.
And I realised (after surviving a hellish three months after T was born with what my current midwife thinks was probably mild PND, and not feeling like I could say anything to my mum about it) that it was all about her. She found it really hard to cope with two children, I don't know that she adjusted very well to having a very full-on son compared to a placid (somewhat spoilt!) daughter, she didn't have very much support from my dad or from anyone else, she had really difficult pregnancies, and when she talks to me about how many children I should have, or how close together I should have them, it's because she doesn't have good memories of that. I'm not her, and my children are not me and my siblings, and while yes, S was a lot 'easier' and quieter, and T had colic and was/is clingy, on the other hand, S still doesn't go to sleep that well, and still doesn't eat very well, and T is amazing how she goes down for naps and at night, and will try anything (food, new experiences, you name it!)
You can always focus on what the second one 'isn't' but then I think you realise that there's so many things s/he 'is' and it's fantastic
no advice other then to mention i sort of know how you feel with your Mum's comment cause when i was pregnant with my DD she would say " I reckon it's pay back for you now as i was in labour with you for 36hours "
i tried to find the humour in it but it did cause me some anxiety ... and needless to say my labour was for only 2.5hrs so goes to show such unneccessary wishful thinking on our Mother's behalf
(my DD sounds like your 1st bub too and i would have the same thing cross my mind with a 2nd bub, i think it's just natural)
V is crazy but I love her and wouldnt change a thing although I am glad the worst seems to be over...for now,,,,
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so goes to show such unneccessary wishful thinking on our Mother's behalf 
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