What pregnant women won't tell you ever!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I know that pregnancies aren't all walks in the park and I was VERY blessed with Liebling's.

BUT... the amount of people these articles "scare off having children" or the like (see the comments!) - I'm sick of people running down pregnancy. Then going back to have another child. Couldn't have been that bad then.

Other thing - it doesn't stop here. The women who think this is "so funny" and the like... they whinge their child's life away. "Oh, he doesn't sleep." "He's too active." How about - I get loads of cuddles 24-hours a day and all the exercise has helped me with any remaining baby weight. Yes, I know I would like more sleep than I get sometimes... but if getting a full night's sleep every night meant no Liebling... let me have 2 hours sleep a night every now and then! Even three years on, I'd rather no sleep than no child.

[Curly]

My pet peeves are scaremongering about labour and what your body will be like post-baby...and that nobody EVER talks about the love you have for your child and how wonderful and life-changing that is, and how that is what gets you through the bad times.

It's a fine line though - you have to balance between being honest about pregnancy or coming full circle to the point of the article in the first place - what people don't tell you about being pregnant.

This is far and away the "worst" pregnancy I have had out of all 3 of them but I find that I am still editing what I tell people. Partly TMI factor, especially for those who haven't been pregnant yet (I am anti-scaremongering, and I know from experience that my experience with pregnancy this time around is not a given, my pregnancy with DS was beautiful)...and partly because I can still appreciate the miracle of growing a child inside of me.

I've told DH a bit more about my discomfort because he is obviously a big part of the decision to stop at 3 children but even he doesn't know it all because I don't want to whinge. I want to bond with my new little baby and appreciate that despite a nasty fright she is healthy and thriving inside me and do my best not to think about the effect this is having on my body - I don't want to resent her at all.

But yes...for me, this pregnancy is "that bad" that I won't be coming back for more, despite our original plans. And no, I will never ever tell her that. It's not her fault.

[Inertia]

Personally, I loved it...

But that is exactly what this is about. This stuff is not spoken about because we arent allowed to be anything but perfectly happy because we are growing a life. Yes, I know that. I loved that I was making a lovely little baby and would go through hell and back to have and for that baby - I went back 5 times... but I had HG. All day, Every Day, for 9 months sickness... and it sucked!

And I am not going to pretend for anyone that it was magical to be hung over the toilet with my ribs caning while I am trying to throw up absolutely nothing every morning because I made a baby.


When someone is at university and their work load is crippling, they are never getting any sleep and are losing their mind because they havent had the time to study for x test because they have been studying for Y test - no one ever says to them "Well, you wanted to become a doctor" or "Look on the bright side, when its all over you will have a bouncing new doctors degree".

Just because the destination is worth the trip, doesn't mean the journey didn't suck.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I think some of you are reading too much into this article. Its not saying any of what they said is terrible its just saying what most of us won't be told but in a humerous way, a way that we all can relate to.

Even though for the most part i couldnt stop throwing up, the thought of food made me throw up for 20 mins straight. I was like a sloth slept most of the day and was so lethargic when i was awake. I loved every moment of it, because i knew why i felt crappy and i knew at the end of it all i would have a beautiful baby to cuddle.

[BlackRose]

Oops! Sorry guys, this was just supposed to be a funny article... apologies if I offended anyone by posting it up.

Erica xo

[AliB]

Heh heh, it's funny that nobody took offensive to the 'bloody gaping...' bit!

Ahh it just goes to show what a minefield pregnancy, birth and babies is. Keep posting fearlessly Erica despite the reaction!

[Inertia]

I didn't take any offence Erica. The reason it is so funny is because it is so true.

Personally I don't think you can scare a person off having a baby any more than you can scare them off getting a tattoo or a naval piercing. Childbirth is far worse than pregnancy and everyone knows that hurts. If they are scared off by a kick to the cervix or the idea that their favourite dinner will have their head din a toilet bowl for an hour later then they were never serious about it in the first place.

I don't think anyone should be ashamed about saying how hard it was. Seriously, how many on their first baby could say that their partner did not fully comprehend just how tired you were, or how badly your back hurt? They had it in their heads that somehow you can be 7 months pregnant and clean the whole house, wash, hang, fold and put away all the dirty washing they left laying on the bedroom floor and bathroom, manicure the lawn and have dinner waiting on the table for them when they get home after a day at work yourself without so much as batting an eyelid? Even worse, you should be happy to do it because they "let you" have their baby.

We talk about how childbirth is not magical, and how newborns are not easy. I don't see there being any drama about talking about how pregnancy can be a drag.

[Lulliloo]

i thought this article was great. im not preg nor have i had a baby, but i am ttc and it hasn't scared me off. we need to talk about all these things so that we are not surprised when/if they happen. i didn't know about the cervix kicking thing, but now if it happens i won't think my baby is about to fall out.

[Persephone1]

I was searching the site for the thread that would tell me that getting kicked in the vee-jay-jay was normal, and look at that! I found the thread! So glad I'm not the only one. Had to read it to DH to prove that I'm not crazy!

[Vixstar]

That sometimes your DP /DF / DH or partner sometimes looks like a big hairy beast walkign through the front door and you wonder where HE / SHE is going to be sleeping...def not in your bed!

Poor DH.......I do love him.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

When someone is at university and their work load is crippling, they are never getting any sleep and are losing their mind because they havent had the time to study for x test because they have been studying for Y test - no one ever says to them "Well, you wanted to become a doctor" or "Look on the bright side, when its all over you will have a bouncing new doctors degree".

Just because the destination is worth the trip, doesn't mean the journey didn't suck.

Really? You must have better support people around you than I did then. Because I still get "It's too hard for you" and "I can't believe you were able to finish your first degree". When I complained that I was over studying, I haad nothing but "drop out then, it's obviously too much" or "you don't mean it, just think of the outcome".

You learn to not complain and look at the positives. Now I look back at... seven years of hell, if you include A-levels too. Pregnancy isn't so bad!

[Talia*L]

Seriously, how many on their first baby could say that their partner did not fully comprehend just how tired you were, or how badly your back hurt? They had it in their heads that somehow you can be 7 months pregnant and clean the whole house, wash, hang, fold and put away all the dirty washing they left laying on the bedroom floor and bathroom, manicure the lawn and have dinner waiting on the table for them when they get home after a day at work yourself without so much as batting an eyelid? Even worse, you should be happy to do it because they "let you" have their baby.

Seriously?!

[Inertia]

Seriously?!

Sadly, men like that do exist. The scary part is quite a lot really. I know those wouldn't care either way if they had half an idea of what it was like during pregnancy, but you would at least have generally known facts to back you up.

My XH used to think I was "over exaggerating" my morning sickness. Granted, HG is over exaggerated MS, but apparently there is no way MS could stop me doing stuff during the day.

Ok, I am gonna stop talking about that now. Still irks me lots. lol

[e_p]

Seriously?!

my FIL was one of those men...my MIL birthed 10 children. At one point, she had 2 kids in nappies and pregnant with the next...and he would get home from work, say he was going down the street to get milk...and would come home 3 hours later. She was making school lunches and getting 5 kids off to school (with a little help from the oldest daughters - boys weren't expected to help), breastfeeding, cooking dinners/doing laundry/picking up after 9 people....and he never lifted a finger, and insisted on telling everyone what a 'gift' it was to have a big family. My MIL was an -incredible- woman...sadly she passed away 2 years ago...from cancer that may have been caught earlier if she was able to get herself to a doctor when she first noticed symptoms. Sadly she didn't get to a doctor until she had a brain tumor and was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. Off topic I know - sorry guys! Just got carried away for a bit there thinking about men who are sometimes crappy support people to their partners.

I thought parts of the article were funny...but agree with LZ to an extent too....I get a bit sick of the articles out there that I really think cross the line into scaremongering...and this article is definitely on its way (judging by the comments posted in response to it).

[HotI]

I thought parts of the article were funny...but agree with LZ to an extent too....I get a bit sick of the articles out there that I really think cross the line into scaremongering...and this article is definitely on its way (judging by the comments posted in response to it).

Why is it scaremongering if it is telling truths about how some women experience pregnancy?

There is so much secrecy around pregnancy (women's business), and saying you are doing it tough is hard. This article was good because it lets you laugh about the not so good stuff in pregnancy.

Maybe those who don't think its funny, is because they don't get it, cos they haven't experienced the bad stuff.

[Persephone1]

I thought the article was good. Partly tongue-in-cheek, but at the same time stating it the way it is for some women. And it's true, a lot of the experiences and symptoms of pregnancy are not discussed - like cervical kicks for example. Why did no one tell me that my baby would kick me THERE?

But I think this is just another example of what we could refer to as "secret women's business" which doesn't get talked about enough. For example, I've had hormonal issues which have caused me to have irregular periods. It's a private matter, it's not like I want to discuss it in public - but it turns out that one of my friends has had similar issues, and had we both been more able to discuss it with each other, we might have been able to support each other and share the wisdom we have as women.

I think one of the reasons why pregnancy, childbirth and women's health is so pathologised (sp?) and controlled by the medical profession is that we don't share our wisdom with each other and empower each other to control our own health care (obviously BB is an exception to that). Whilst this article might seem like it's scaremongering, surely that's better than not talking about it? Who else is going to share this information with us? Once upon a time our ancestors sat around and talked women's business without any fear - that doesn't happen any more, but the internet, and articles like this, are the 21st century way of doing that.

Okay, got to go and watch Big Love now.

[Inertia]

I thought parts of the article were funny...but agree with LZ to an extent too....I get a bit sick of the articles out there that I really think cross the line into scaremongering...and this article is definitely on its way (judging by the comments posted in response to it).

I still don't see how cervix kicks and back aches can scare a person off having a baby more than labour would. Labour stories would be scaremongering, but they are more than welcome to be discussed - even the really really bad ones.

I could blog, post, talk for days about my PPH - thats not a problem. I screamed like a banshee all the way through Phoebes labour - it was that unforgivingly painful.

"Everyones experience is different"

But If I mentioned that Phoebe made pregnancy unbearbly uncomfortable because she kicked me in the cervix seven times a day, and when she flipped she would kick me in the ribs and force her head into my cervix daily . That I had HG all 6 times and spent all day every day within 5m of a bathroom. Neither of which rate anywhere near as bad as the previous two....

No.. I just don't buy that its scaremongering. Its just my experiences.

[~TT40~]

good to see I knew about all that, and dont hid it from my women i look after...except the toilet paper thing...never heard of that! I do however suggest they buy one of those plastic shower head s you attach to the end of the tap to clean themselves, regularly like when having a shower but not inplace of loo paper..is it american?
anywho! brilliant list!!!! =)