Just wanted to ask if anyone has had a yuk experience with a bad antenatal educator?
We have been to two full day workshops - one on labour and birth (which was fantastic!!) and the second on "Parentcraft".
Labour and birth workshop was great, and we were given the facts and advantages and disadvantages of doing things a certain way. It was all unbiased and full of great useful info for us, and the midwives there were friendly and approachable and answerred our questions without making us feel dumb, even if they were silly questions.
The Parentcraft workshop was a waste, IMO. We found the educator to be very opinionated. She was only telling us about what she would do, rather than all the options and the good and bad points of those. For example, she told everyone to never use disposable nappies and that we all have to use cloth and cloth only. Then she told one of the dads off for asking if it was possible for his wife to express milk during the day so he could get up and do a feed in the middle of the night if she was too exhausted to. I suppose it was just more the way she said it that bothered me. Then told someone else off when they asked about using formula to supplement breast milk if not much breast milk is being produced. This really annoyed me because it was a totally valid question and the way she answered was completely rude and out of line. She was standing on her stupid soap box all day long. There weere so many other things she did too.
We then got to put nappies on dolls and wrap the dolls. There were three couples in the group who werent "anglo" - an Asian couple, an Indian couple and a couple where he was African American and she was Anglo. And the midwife gave the black skinned dolls specifically to those couples and the fair skinned dolls to everyone else, and it was obviously deliberate (you could tell by the way she looked for the dark dolls. We just thought that was really wrong and stupid. I might be over-reacting, but we just didnt like it - DH and I thought it was a bit racist.
So basically, I am just asking if anyone else has been to a terrible antenatal class? Or did we just get a bad educator? Is it normal that they try to force their opinions and talk down to you?
sorry for ranting. I am going to write a letter to the place and tell them about it, but I just wanted to see if it was the "norm".
Hi Karina, my antenatal classes wren't too bad from memory but be prepared for the opinions as you may get a lot of it in hospital too. When DS was born I used to dread everytime the shift changed because someone else would have a differnt 'way'to recommend. On one hand it's good to have the different ideas and I did learn a lot but on the other hand it is very confusing and hard to deal with if bub is having issues. Def write them a letter though because the idea is education about all aspects of parentcraft and if this lady can't get pst her own ideas maybe two of them should run it
Or there's my experience from the other side-- For the full story go to to the boo hoo section and read Shmickers post (he is my husband) but basically I am a midwife that used to teach classes in a non jugemental and non opinonated way whilst making sure to teach both sides of everything so coupkes could make up their own mind, Until I got sacked-(well asked not to continue) because I was "giving women choices" and I should have been teaching only what the hospital wanted them to hear!!!!!! I am now a full time sahm who's been badly hurt. It seems you can't do right for doing wrong.
Karina, that women should'nt be doing that job if she is all one sided. I'd be peed off too....Perhaps next class challenge her ideas, especially if you dont agree?
Kiki; Sorry to hear, and How unfair....Getting sacked for giving advice on both sides, all of which the Majority of Parents to be would want to hear. I would have appreciated you
OMG Karina - that's amazing. Our midwives were beyond accepting (the boys in the class got a little rowdy - we come from a small community and they all went to school with each other so they laughed their way through the whole class. The midwives laughed along with them and said they hoped they were as jovial the next time they met.)
The parent craft bit on the other hand - erk!! SOOOOOOOOOO opinionated. Don't do this, don't do that - all very black and white about breast feeding and nappies and pets. It's not a black and white thing. There is one heck of a lot of grey in there!! It would seem she doesn't think in grey. My husband asked if it was worthwhile buying some formula to suppliment a feed if the breastfeeding isn't working out well - which it doesn't on occasion. She answered - no, don't waste your money. Breast feeding is the only way and we will persist until you get it. NOICE!!!! I reckon if she's in there and I'm having trouble I'm liable to throw her out.
Thanks for your responses. I just felt the parentcraft class was a bit of a time-waster because of that midwife.
Kiki, I did see your hubbys post about your dilemma. So sorry to hear that doing the right thing was not what your work seemed to want. That is really crappy and very unfair. We need more people like you!
I am going to write a letter raving on about how great the labour and birth class was, but also a letter "expressing my disappointment in the parentcraft one. They didnt even give out a feedback form for the Parentcraft, so I might even suggest they do that in future.
Karina, that is really disappointing to hear, especially seeing how much you enjoyed the other 2. I think next weeks class for us is more parent craft. I can't comment on it as I obviously haven't had it yet but the same midwife runs the class and she gives very neutral advise, she won't commit one way or another as she feels it is our decision as long as we are fully informed. If only all midwifes fels that way - I would be very happy to walk in when in labour and have her as my midwife (so would DH). I agree, the use of the dolls in the way seems very inappropriate, what a bizarre woman. She sounds very old school, unfotunately they are still out there.
Kiki, I also read your husbands post and was very angered regarding what happended to you. I also work in health (paramedic) and was a nurse and am all too familiar on what patients and realtives can do and say to make your job harder, or in your unfortuntate case, end it. People can be manipulative and it is, unfotunately, human nature to blame someone else when something doesn't go the way they want it to. unfortunately, you have been the scapegoat of this. From the sounds of things you are the type of midwife that should be teaching antenatal classes and i hope that it can be sorted out so you can get back to what you love to do.
What were your antenatal classes like?
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