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Thread: When to tell family?

  1. #1
    Janie Guest

    Default When to tell family?

    No not pregnant (yet) but I just wanted to know two things:

    1. Before you were pregnant when did you think you would tell you parents/family? Eg Were you planning to wait until 12 weeks. For those TTC, you can still answer this.

    2. When did you actually tell them?

    Just wondering as it seems people have the best intentions of waiting until 12 weeks but seem to tell family straight away.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
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    With DD my mum found out straight away as she was there when i tested, i was 11 weeks. I told my dad when i was about 15 weeks and i told everyone else about 20-21 weeks.

    If i am pregnant this month i'll be telling my mum at around 8 weeks, otherwise she'll know pretty much straight away as we're moving back there soon. Everyone else i will be telling them after the 12 week ultrasound.

  3. #3

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    I told my mum straight away! Too excited not too.. and we told DH family as we saw them, didnt like to tell this exciting news over the phone!

    We see it that should this baby decide that it is not meant to be then i would prefer the support of family members, rather than just telling them after the fact. I believe that the pregnancy should be celebrated from early on..

    I wont be telling wotk until at least 14 weeks, unless i start showing.. I just dont wont them knowing my business..

  4. #4

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    We held off telling anyone til 12wks. Its drags on long enough without everyone knowing from early on IYKWIM? we also wanted the time to adjust as a family before we told anyone and considered it our special time. I never even told my Mum my dues dates because she'd only worry. There's no right or wrong way to do this, it's all personal choice.

  5. #5
    littlerigger Guest

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    We told our immediate family (mums dads and siblings) as soon as we knew so 6 weeks. Most other people we waiting til 12 weeks. I told work early cause I was suffering extremely bad M/S and needed them to be prepared for me to be off / useless because of this

  6. #6

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    I think our intention maybe have been to wait till the weekend to tell them (we found out on a tuesday) but we inded up going to mum and dads a few days later with a "present" for them- it was a baby frame. Then we went to visit DF's mum the next day i think and did the same thing.

    We didnt think about when we would tell people while we were TTC, I think we both knew we wouldnt wait.

    Next time i "plan" on waiting as long as i can before telling anyone- only beacuse its been such a long wait for them all this time, having found out I was Pg over a week before i was even due for AF compared to my sister who told them about her last bub when she was over 5 months pg- she was going to wait longer (she doesnt show much) but she couldnt find a baby sitter for the other 2 kids so they saw an ultrasound with her and she thought they would tell nan and pop!!

  7. #7
    Fee Guest

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    1. No I never planned to wait until 12 weeks to tell the immediate family. I always thought I would tell them straight away.

    2. The day we got the blood test results back - we went and visited all our immediate family to tell them the news.

    Now friends are another story. Once again I always thought I would tell them straight away - but we ended up waiting until about 11/12 weeks to tell close friends and other family members. It was Christmas so it worked out nicely. Work colleagues and acquaintances were told around 14 weeks (after the NT scan).

  8. #8

    Default

    We told our parents at about 8 weeks because we wanted to tell them in person and my parents don't live in Sydney.
    We told the rest of the family at 11 weeks because it was christmas, so good timing.

    Other than that we waited until after 12 weeks, except for a couple of close friends.

  9. #9

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    I told most of fam and friends at 5/6 weeks. I didn't see the point in waiting. I had two close friends who both lost babies at 8 months, so waiting until 12 weeks for that reason seemed irrelevant to me. I also have an elder daughter and felt almost like I was lying if I didn't tell her. it made it a long journey for her, but it was also special and she learnt alot. now DD #2 is here, the pregnancy seems so far away and like it just flew by (even though it didn't)! xo

  10. #10

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    We told everyone a few days after finding out ourselves. We are a close family..so even if the pregnancy had not continued we would have wanted our family and friends in the loop so to speak.

    Jo

  11. #11
    peppy75 Guest

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    We told both parents the day it was confirmed by the doctor (around six weeks). I even told my sister and SIL as soon as I had done the home pregnancy test! We had always planned to tell them straight away.

    We figure that if the worst was to happen, we would want our families to know what was going on...

  12. #12
    Melody Guest

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    I'm with Jo & Heather.... We needed family support to get through IVF & should anything have gone wrong we would have wanted thier love & support to get through it.

  13. #13

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    1. Mum - was here the day I tested, so knew straight away.
    2. DH's family a few days after BFP
    3. Rest of my family tonight....Mum was finding it hard to not talk about it. I live 1000kms away from my side of the family, so mum was getting confused as to who she could talk to about it...so I called them all tonight.
    4. Only my 'Need to know' people at work are informed...
    5. My 2 closests friends know.

    The rest will wait till 12 weeks.

  14. #14

    Default

    With Nicholas we told my mum, grandparents etc... when I was 10 weeks pg and with this pg we didn't tell anyone until I was 19 weeks but that was due to our previous 2 m/c's and wanted to be definitley sure everything was going to be ok.

  15. #15
    DoubleK Guest

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    I told my parents and younger brother the day after i found out (@ 6 weeks) as i wanted to tell them in person not over the phone. I was just on 12 weeks at my 21st birthday, so we told all my family including DP's parents & family the week before my party

    If it wasnt for my 21st party with everyone invited, i would have waited until after the 12 week scan, but it would have been too hard having a secret and no body else knowing!

    Rach

  16. #16
    Janie Guest

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    *bump*

    I didn't realise how timely this post was - considering I'm now PG and struggling with when to tell everyone.

    We decided to send our parents, my sister and BIL a card in a few weeks (when my BIL comes out to stay for a month from Chicago). We are sending them to time with his arriving on Wed 22 February before him and his wife come to stay with us for the weekend.

    I'm just worried that we should wait until after our appointment the following week (Wed 1 March) but then they might be upset that they didn't get to share it with us over the weekend.

    We will be 7 weeks then. What do you think?

  17. #17

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    I hope that we can wait at least 12 weeks to tell people when the time comes. DP's mother effectively 'managed' his SIL's pregnancy last year and it was awful to watch. There were diets and regulated exercise and long discussions about every aspect of everything - poor SIL lost all control and there is no way that that is happening to me.

    I'm not sure that I trust DP (and he doesn't understand about his mum) so maybe I won't tell him either! Nah - just joking - but if he told her I think I would do something rather painful to him!

    I think it would be nice to have a little secret all to ourselves for a while.

  18. #18

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Default Telling familly

    I laughed when I read this subject header - hubby and i found out we are 8 weeks preg on thur- we assured each other we would not tell anyone until we had reached the 12 week safety period- first person we saw happened to be a workmate of hubbys and he just blurted it out . and basically it was just rollercoastered on from there . I think in our case we wanted people to feel happy for us again after 2 failed preg last year - anyway you tell who you tell and I am hoping the more we discuss it the stronger the pregnancy. Mind you the people we have told early will think I have the gestation period of an elephant

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