where does baby sleep after getting home?

[Nai]

I wouldn't worry about DH sleeping - I found that DP will wake up if the dog scratches himself at the other end of the house but if DD screams the house down DP can sleep right through it!! He says it's instinct as he has to get up and hunt wild bison for dinner - yeah right!

I had DD in a cradle right next to our bed and we re-arranged the room to fit it in by putting it where my bedside table was. She moved to her own room at 5 months and then we put everything back the way it was. Our room is also very small but with some planning we were able to fit everything in.

[DANNIIM]

I really think it is a personal choice and its hard to decide until bubs is actually here! DS co slept until 6months and wouldn't even wake for a feed cause he was so comfy...can't really blame him and we did live in a much cooler place at the time. This bub will be in a bassinet right next to the bed...i just feel better having them closer, again a personal choice.

[Curly]

I did exactly that. Had the monitor on so that I would hear DS and it worked very well for me. DH slept through everything. The amount of times DH would ask in the morning "Did he wake up at all?" and I would answer through gritted teeth!

DS comes into bed a lot with us now (he is nearly 2) - I am now far more relaxed about co-sleeping but I still get a much better quality of sleep if he is not in the bed.

[boomba]

I think its a personal choice!
When we bought DS home he went into his room all by himself! But after reading some books which i should have read before DS came into our lives he began co sleeping! Now when i look back i think how lonely this would have been for him after being so snug and close to me for 9 months!
When our next baby comes along i will be co sleeping from the start!

Dh never had time off and once DS started to sleep with us he just got used to the little nioses. Now he doesnt even here him! Unfortunately you both will be tired no matter what.

Good luck with your decision you will make the right chioce for you and your baby! x

[tenar]

Does anyone else find that their co-sleeping baby won't sleep well without mum (or dad) there sleeping with them?

This seems to be the case with a toddler I know. I think she's tired the whole time, because she doesn't know how to get to sleep when she is alone. She's certainly really really hard to get to sleep, sleeps lightly at best, and is often a real handful (she's delightful in other ways too - it isn't all bad).

Her parents are doing the whole "attachment parenting" thing, which I haven't read much about, though I gather there is a lot of information out there about this. But it doesn't make sense to me to not teach your baby, as easily as possible, that it is OK, safe, and comfortable for them to sleep on their own. It also doesn't make sense to me to make someone who is upset about it have to sleep entirely on their own every time.

Surely there is a middle ground here?

[MantaRay]

As a general rule, parents get more sleep when they co-sleep. And when done according to the guidelines it definitely reduces the risk of SIDS (they don't call it COT death for nothing!). But that doesn't suit everyone and if you decide you'd rather put the baby in another room that is ok. Just be aware that you might feel differently when you actually bring baby home. Especially after you've had your baby in your room for a couple of nights in the hospital, it can be pretty difficult to leave them in a different room by themselves when you get home. I am sure one way or another you will find what works for you. It just might not be what you expected it to be!

[Willow]

I'd say wait until the baby arrives. DD slept in a bassinet right up against my side of the bed for 6 months and then we moved her to her cot. We tried the same thing with DS - nope, he had other plans moving him to his cot in his own room saw a huge improvement in his sleeping. I came to a compromise of sleeping in the spare room next door so I am literally 5 steps away from his cot because I hated being away from him - and yes, 10 months later, DH and I have still not gone back to our own bedroom

If I had my time again, I'd probably get one of those Arms Reach co-sleepers in the hope he'd be more comfortable in that, he really hated the bassinet.

The other option if space is a problem might be a hammock, I don't think they take up as much room and you can hire them.

[amberj]

My LO has always slept in his own room, apart from a few nights at the start when he wouldn't settle (and I just wanted to cuddle him).

It was our plan to put him straight into his cot, but he was just too small for that when he first came home. We have a nice rocker that we ended up putting into the cot and he sleeps in that. At 11 weeks, he is about to transition to his cot because he is getting too big for the rocker!

I will second what someone else said- you might be surprised at how much you actually want to co-sleep when you get them home. I have always been very much "your space/ my space" kind of person, but when LO came home, I just wanted to be close to him all the time! I figured this seemed pretty natural and as much as I could I balanced this with also wanting him to learn to sleep by himself.

Good luck, you will love it!

[Cassius2]

with DD we planned to have her straight in a cot in her room.

however, once i had her i decided that she was too tiny to be in her big cot and the constant feeds in those early weeks seemed impractical to have her such a distance away (i knew that i would be too tired getting up every 2-3 hours to do nappy changes and a feed then a re-wrap and settle).
so the day we brought her home i went out and bought a moses basket and stand and we had her in our room. DH would get up and bring her to me and i would feed in bed with her. this way she would stay pretty sleepy and nod off and we could transfer her back.

she stayed with us for the first 4 weeks. then the noises got too much and i wouldn't be able to relax thinking she was needing a feed etc. after that she went to her own room.

i wouldnt worry too much about DH needing sleep. being the primary carer of a newborn is a much more labour intensive job, that goes 24/7, in fact at times, going to work can be the relaxing part! LOL!
getting dh to help change nappies and bringing them to you in the night shift is also a nice way for dads to feel a real part of caring process. my dh felt pretty inconsequential to her well being and was pretty bummed until we worked out a system whereby he had his little rituals with her...ITH...

[Liz]

Does anyone else find that their co-sleeping baby won't sleep well without mum (or dad) there sleeping with them?

...Surely there is a middle ground here?

I guess with real attachment parenting, they'd be wearing the baby through the day, so bub sleeps on them, and then sleeps with them at night too. But if you just want to co-sleep, then that's usually just at night, and bub would have day sleeps on his own. So there is a middle ground. Co-sleeping is great for not needing to fully get up to feed through the night, so you do get more sleep that way.

If I had my time again, I'd probably get one of those Arms Reach co-sleepers in the hope he'd be more comfortable in that, he really hated the bassinet.

We've got this, and I highly recommend it. It's co-sleeping, but not! LOL. It's worked well for us because DS still comes in through the night (most nights) and if DD was in our bed I'd worry that he'd climb all over her. This way she is still right next to me, but in her own blankets and things. She can actually crawl out of it now, so I'm not supposed to use it hehe.. we have set up the other 'big' cot in DS's room, but I like having her next to me, so I need to wean myself off it.

DS did go in a cot in his own room when we came home from hospital. This worked ok for us.. and he started co-sleeping when he was about 7 months, then into his big bed at 13 mths.

I'm too nervous to co-sleep with a very new baby, so the Arms Reach thing has been perfect for me to use from day 1 for DD.

[Ezz]

As others have said, it depends on your bub, and on how you feel when you get home from hossy. At night, DS slept in a bassinette in our room until he was 12 weeks old. I would have loved him to stay longer (I was really nervous about moving him to his own room), but he was past the weight limit of the bassinette. He slept in his cot in his own room during the day (because that room is air-conditioned & ours isn't). He had no trouble going between the two.

The other thing to consider is night feeds. If you are going to breastfeed, it's so much easier to just be able to put bubs in bed with you while you feed (which can be quite frequent in those first few weeks/months).

I still bring DS into bed with me after his 'night' feed (which is about 5am) - I get a longer sleep that way & we can wake up together about 7am.

[aussienic]

There is nothing wrong with your baby going into a cot in its own room straight from hospital if thats what you choose to do..

I personally have had all my babies in my room till 12 months or older.. i sleep quite well as does Dh.. And on those nights when baby was crying lots honeslty it was simply to bad tso sad LOL.. I did sleep on the couch (sitting up) with bubs from time to time but mainly Dh would go sleep elsewhere as he knew my sleep was just as important. It isn't that easy to go to sleep during the day when baby does..

I am sure you will make the right decision to suit you and your partners

[Lenny]

As everyone else has said, there is nothing wrong with whatever you decide. But i don't think you should make concrete plans until you have bubs at home.
I assumed DS would sleep in his own room but i found it reassuring in the first weeks to have him close by so i could keep checking on him. Then we both found that we actually slept better with DS in our room as we were getting up often during the night for feeds/comforting etc until DS got the Day/Night thing sorted. DH is a shift worker so his sleep is important too. Sometimes if he really needs to sleep, he just wears earplugs!
DS has been in his own room since about 16 weeks and I hate getting up in the night with it being cold etc - sometimes I wish he was back with us in our room!