You dont have to do anything - its your body and your baby

[MeganH]

I dont know if its my hormones that is causing me to get a bit thingy about this but I just want to get this out. I really believe in womens choices and hate the fact that so many women feel they dont have a choice when it comes to their body, their baby and the birth of their baby.

There are so many pregnant girls here who have said things like this:

My Ob wont let me go over (so many) days
I really dont want to have an internal
My ob wants to induce me at (so many) weeks
I really didnt like the ob/midwife/Dr etc I saw
I hope they dont make me do (whatever it is)
I really want to be in the bath/shower/birth stool/standing up etc etc etc
I dont want to be induced

Well, I just want EVERYONE to know that if you yourself have said any of these, just know that if you are unhappy with anything or dont feel comfortable with anything that is happening, do your research, and change what is happening. You dont have to do anything you dont want to.

Obs, Drs and midwives dont always know what is best for YOU!

You should NEVER feel pressured, bossed around or uncomfortable with any of these people or how they are handling you, your pregnancy and your baby. Dont always just accept what they say, especially if you are not totally comfortable with it.

I TOTALLY understand whats its like to really want to meet your baby, when you are overdue or just had enough. I have been there twice before and am overdue again right now with baby number 3. I know that it would be nice to know when baby is going to arrive so you can plan things, time of for DH from work, going to a wedding or party, or having your own and all those things. I also understand that the are sometimes special circumstances where there's not much of a choice, but this RARELY happens.

Whichever way you decide to birth your baby whether it be totally natural, induced labour, c-section or whatever. Make sure you understand what is going to happen, any risks or consequences and above all make sure it is YOUR CHOICE and not anyone elses. Just because the Ob or Dr or Midwife says "they want to" or that "you should do" a particular thing, it doesnt mean you have to. Make sure you are well informed about everything, ask lots of question and do your own research.

Anyway, I think Im starting to repeat myself.

I hope this helps someone

[koru]

Well said Megan
(only just noticed this thread)

[star child]

agree with KORU
great thread

[MeganH]

Thank you, girls. This is something Im feeling soooo passionate about at the moment and am just hoping that someone reads it who it might help in some way. I just wish I could tell this to every pregnant woman in the world.

[ElleJay]

Very well said!

[SammyRo]

Hope you don't go too much longer Megan!

I'm with you in what you're saying.
I've said this before, but I think its sad that women choose to go private and with an ob simply because they've got the insurance, without considering the risks. Or because they think its the best option without looking into it - I read the analogy somewhere that you don't go to an oncologist for a cold, so why go to a specialist for a normal low risk birth.
I think it all comes down to education - I read everything I could get my hands on last time, and knew what I wanted - luckily I had chosen a birth care model that really suited this.

[principessa76]

Good thread.

I think also remember after the birth when you're in hosp to remember you're in control. Unless there have been serious complications you're not sick you're basically in there for a rest.

I had a great experience overall (FWIW I was at a private hosp) but a couple of days after DS's birth an awful MW (with a young student in tow) came in to check on me. She was very bossy and proceeded to roll me over as she had to "check my tail" after which she commented that I had a "massive haemorrhoid"..... of course I was well aware of that . I was however totally humiliated and was quite upset about the whole experience. Luckily I didn't see that woman again for the rest of my stay. When I was about to check out I had a final review with another MW. She wanted to check on my haemorroid. I told her that I'd prefer that she didn't..... so she didn't I'm a health care professional myself and I'm used to being assertive and in control but its so easy in the hospital environment to be pushed around and treated like a piece of meat. It was a great feeling being back in control. I totally recommend it.

[Inertia]

Good thread.

I think also remember after the birth when you're in hosp to remember you're in control. Unless there have been serious complications you're not sick you're basically in there for a rest.

I don't stay unless I absolutely have to. I stayed the full length twice - first time was after the hemorrhage, second time was while Sam was in NICU.

That was pretty much why I let them manage the third stage this time despite wanting to go natural at first. Not that they were all that willing to let me try natural, being on my case for the canula the second I walked in the labour room in transition! Thats probably the only bit that upset me. I told him No and to stuff off several times - the most forceful of which was after he failed to place the canula THREE TIMES! DH was freaking out by this point because he is expecting me to go catatonic from the syncope. So when I felt her head moving down I just kept pushing so he wouldn't have the time to try again in my other hand.

The unfortunate truth is, they are very good at making you feel like you don't have a choice - and when you are in labour its even worse. I actually forgot all this and actually resorted to begging the guy to leave me alone at first.

[dust]

i think its a bit generalised that if you go public you get treated like meat and somehow private would be different? of course ive only been thru public myself so have no clue on private care despite always hearing how much a higher c-section rate they have. Altho that is probably another big generalisation. I dont by any means think that one is necessarily better than the other and perhaps it just comes down to a individual case by case experience. However My experience in public isn't 100% awesome either. I recommend to everyone i know not to stay (if they can help it) the full time after birth in a public hospital. Not to let go of the full family medical history as it creates more of a bias towards those already at "high risk".
With DD1 i was sneered at by the midwife on night shift some 4hrs after giving birth (after bub managed to poo on her shoe! which she offered to change??!!) that my poor baby had to deal with my huge boobs. WTH! I was given conflicting advice, nipples/boobs pinched and pushed into bubs mouth with each shift change. Not fun! However i gave birth how i wanted and <3ed the midwife i had, she was lovely! Which i needed after 2 shift changes and them not believing that i was in labour and wanting to send me home.
With DD2 i had a birth the way i wanted, i powered thru it and was thoroughly complimented afterwards by the 2 midwifes and 1 student in the room. (which i felt kinda odd about, but was uplifted by their comments)

[Arimeh]

i think its a bit generalised that if you go public you get treated like meat and somehow private would be different?

My comment about being treated like a piece was meat was specifically directed towards the general hospital and their treatment of patients where I LIVE - not every general hospital.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

well said Megan

[SamiH]

without this being a public v private debate .... i agree with the OP sentiments - KNOW your body, KNOW your options, KNOW the risks, EDUCATE yourself, be FLEXIBLE if the goal posts change during your labour and don't be hard on yourself because you are doing what is best for you and your baby after all - what better could you do than that???

I have had all 3 in public system (1 in Vic, 2 in Canberra), and with all 3 had lovely care - third time round the best experience I have ever had - but I think cos the middies knew I KNEWwhat my options were ie my waters broke - I went in to have monitoring, talking induction and staying in the next lunchtime if no contractions - I said nope I am going home with anti's and will come in daily for the next 3 days for monitoring - lo and behold, everything kicked in 24 hours later and had a beautiful 6 hour drug free natural labour. Same scenario with my 2nd, but I didn't know I coudl push my way into going home and was induced - but I am not angry about it - i just DIDN't KNOW!

Hope bubs has arrived for your Megan

[dust]

My comment about being treated like a piece was meat was specifically directed towards the general hospital and their treatment of patients where I LIVE - not every general hospital.

my apologies Arimeh!!!!!

arfm08- i was in bit of a shock & took it personally For whatever reason some in the medical profession just aren't size friendly (at the time my BMI would have been in overweight)

Megan wondering if today bub decided to arrive?

[rfm08]

that my poor baby had to deal with my huge boobs.

that is so very disgracefull of a midwife (of all people) to say that! i hope you told her where to stick it