Yummy Mummy phenomena?

[monnie]

Does this annoy you?

It annoys me big-time!

I'll explain...

This is my first pregnancy...I've never been the slimmest of people...I'm about a size 14 (and not particularly tall!!!)

I've always had issues with my weight...and had to really work through these issues...learn to accept myself as "less-than-perfect"...and in the last few years, felt like I finally achieved that...I found a style of dressing that expresses who I am, without making me feel ashamed about my body...I was really proud of myself for beating that horrible personal demon of mine!

However...

I've found these issues have re-appeared with pregnancy...I feel great pressure from "society" (probably fueled the celebrity media predominantly) with the whole "yummy mummy phenomena"

...having the perfect "bump"...not too big, not too wide and expansive...not showing too early...not having any other nasty bumps or lumps anywhere...not having breasts that are too big...etc...

It's really taken me by surprise...and I'm struggling with it...

I feel like the beautiful and natural state of pregnancy has been hijacked by the "fashion police" and that there's now all these rules on how "pregnant should look"...

Does anyone esle struggle with this?

[hannanat]

I'm not pregnant at the moment hun, but thought I'd jump in anyway. Pregnancy is such a beautiful time and to me all pg women are gorgeous.

I do understand what you mean though - I remember too well leafing through magazines with pics of beautiful women with not a stretch mark or spot of cellulite to be seen. I wouldn't worry though, Monnie - just enjoy the magical journey.

[Janie]

I'm with Nat Monnie, I think all pg women look beautiful!

I really know what you mean, but I think if you've perservered through these issues before to feel good about yourself, you can do it again! I bet you look fantastic hun

Personally, (and I might sound up myself LOL!), but I think I look really good ATM - and I think that might be because for the first time I can remember I'm not at all worried about what I'm eating etc and how much I weigh! Whether or not I actually look great or not, I don't know, but I certainly feel it! Pg certainly has it's not so fun times, but if you feel good, and comfortable, in yourself then I think that shows through .

I am most concerned with what appears to be an obsession with losing your 'baby weight' ASAP! I have friends who are worried about it, and I mean worried, only six weeks after having bubs! To me, at that time you should be enjoying your baby, and getting used to life with him/her, not thinking about something like your weight FFS! (Besides, everyone's going to be too busy looking at us pushing our SCs to be looking at our tummies LOL!)

I agree, 'society' has alot to answer for in regards to weight issues surrounding pregnancy etc! Don't let it get you down, just enjoy this wonderful, magical time

ETA Oooooh Rachel, I just realised that I haven't felt that need to pop my top button for months! Gotta love maternity clothes (and not having to suck your tummy in!)

[C~Q]

I definatly know what you mean. I didn't even put on that much weight but still felt like I shouldn't put on weight anywhere but my tummy. At the gym I had all the trainers telling me that they worked out till weeks before they popped but I was just too darn tired and so that made me feel bad too.

Also a lady I worked with delighted in telling me that she left the hospital in her pre-pregnancy jeans...thanks, just what I wanted to hear! I packed pre-pregnancy clothes in my labour bag to wear home and guess what? I hadn't a hope of fitting in to them and had to go home in my pyjamas!!!

I really don't have any advice as I felt the same but just try and enjoy your new body and show off the new assets! I only ever have boobs when i'm pregnant so I loved wearing low(ish) cut tops! Also it was the only time I didnt have to suck in my stomach. Go the stretchy maternity pants!

And the best part...go to the movies and eat all the popcorn, lollies etc you want and NEVER be uncomfortable because you don't want to undo a belt/top button!

I hope you start feeling better about you body soon

[lotusmamma]

Yeah. When I'm pregnant I carry small and when these two older women asked how far along I was and I told them they said "you're respectable, aren't you" because I wasn't showing much!!!! So would that have made me disrespectful if I was larger??!! How rude and stupid.

[*noni*e*]

yep def hearing this one!! i wasn't small either 12 - 14 and only 5'1 already struggled like u in the past and u get to a point when u think it is all good and then bam lol... u kinda think too that preg is a time where u dnt really have to worry about those things so much (well i did) and then u see these magazines and everything about not gaining anything but the baby in the belly and loosing the weight so quick u must have spent more time wuth a personal trainer then with ur new baby ****es me off really!!!

[visitor1]

I loooove being pregnant.... but as with the first time.... i feel ripped off in a pg body. Its my fault of course no one elses....but cos i wasnt skinny...or even 'normal' sized before i got preg i didint have a proper round belly or look preg. I hated that.. andt his time its not going to be any better cos im still carry (what i call flab) from DD birth.

But as a whole.... we r human and normal people... not celebs...so we should look and feel sexy no matter what others say

[Patooties]

I remember i always wanted to be one of those pregnant women who could wear a very clingy dress and just have my bump sticking out nicely at the front. When i tried them on i had lumps and bumps everywhere and it didn't look that great!! I gave up the idea and just looked for clothes that made me feel good.
I'm bigger this pregnancy, and i am so proud of my bump, that i'm not letting the other bumps get me down.
Those models in the magazines have probably been airbrushed anyway. (and i bet your dh thinks you look wonderful and wouldn't swap you for one of those thin model like versions anyway.)

[Trillian]

With the mentality ATM of women competing to look good 24/7 (even if it is only in their minds kwim) it is no wonder this has extended into pg. I know of women who walked 10km's a day cause they heard that you get bigger with subsequent pg's and didn't eat like they should all because of some ideal they had in their heads.

Being Pg is the only time that I feel totally comfortable in my skin because I love the fact that I am pg and that my body is doing the most basic yet essential thing that mother nature intended it to do. I don't care that I look like I have 5 basketballs up my jumper instead of one sitting nicely in the front, nor do I care that I don't look like Elle after having a baby (I feel like it, just don't look like it LOL). It takes 9 months to gain any weight, so it can take 9 months for it to come off again. I do know that being overweight already it is in my best interests to lose weight afterwards, simply for my own health and not a desire to look good - that is simply a bonus.

Monnie, If you have worked hard to get where you were beforehand, I have no doubt that you will get there again afterwards. Granted that sometimes nature just does not let you get all the way back sometimes, which I have found, but embrace that and celebrate what an amazing job your body has done to nurture and birth a beautiful baby. Wear the stretchies and the extra lumpy bits with pride I say.

[qhi]

This is something I am really struggling with this pregnancy. Between June and December last year, I lost 28kg. I went from 116kg (eep!) and a size 20, to 88kg, and a size 14.

Now that I am pregnant again, people are dropping all these comments on me like "Oh what a shame!" and "you worked so hard, and now you'll put it all back on!" Those sorts of comments make me feel really self concious, and quite frankly, ****ed off!

Not everyone puts on tonnes of weight when they are pregnant, and even if they do, so what? It's the one time in your life when you are SUPPOSED to get bigger.

Aside from crying and getting angry, I just don't know how to address those things when they are said. Now I feel like people will be looking at me and feeling sorry for me, or thinking "Oh what a waste" , instead of "ooh! A baby! How exciting!"

[Kazbah]

I know what you mean ...

Some of the "yummy mummy" stuff I agree with - the ability to have a life and a baby (but I'll see how practical that is when Blobble's born!)

Like others here, I lost weight over the previous year or so but luckily nobody's made the hurtful comments to me like qui. But the interesting thing is that because I lost the weight previously through exercise and healthy eating, I'm not going overboard in the eating - I'm just eating what I feel like.

My belly isn't a perfect basketball, but hey, I'm liking it. I'm able to tell them, if they ask, that I'm happy with my weight gain - only 7kg so far - and am worried that I'm not putting on enough weight. That really stops them.

And one of my goals in losing weight originally was to get down to a healthy weight for conceiving - which I achieved.

When bub's born, I'll be walking everywhere as my vehicle is a work lease that expires the same day I start maternity leave (Wednesday). And then I'll start getting fit again - I haven't been to the gym since I was about 6 weeks preggers and haven't done any real bushwalking since I was 11weeks. So I'm looking forward to being able to do that again, and not being breathless after climbing the stairs here at home, because there won't be a baby pushing against my lungs.

And that's my goal - to feel fit again when I can. And I'm not packing anything pre-pregnancy for the hospital

[Melbo]

Oh Monnie, I'm glad you brought this up. I HATE the term "yummy mummy" and I think it should be consigned to the garbage bin along with its kissing cousin "bling bling".

Some of those so-called "yummy mummies" are starving themselves and exercising like mad and the bits they haven't been able to get rid of have been airbrushed out anyhow. It is just not desirable nor attainable.

I've had self-image issues all my life. I can see them now objectively but it is strange how they still raise their ugly heads from time to time. I just have to remind myself of what is realistic and what is just stupid. I never comment on another person's weight or appearance, apart from telling them they look great and I really mean it when I say that. To me, looking great is about so much more than weight and as another poster said, aren't all pregnant women beautiful anyway?

[Jacqui]

Yes...if only we were only size 10 and without a lump or bump until our pregnancies started. I can remember with my first pregnancy being 32 weeks and leaving work and my boss said "why are you leaving?" He was a man but still. I have never been small infact been mostly size 22 all my life.

At the end of the day I search for positives.....If I lay down I can feel my pg belly,
I can still wear the clothes I always way....(So not everyone has to know)
I put on a bit extra makeup and hope to goodness they look at my face LOL!

We all have that glow regardless if we have a bump a lump or a stump in front of us!
We are all beautiful, and stuff the stereo type. We are doing the most important job in the world....GROWING A BABY!

JACQUI

[lotusmamma]

One of the things I believe doesn't help is pregnant models. I looked nothing like them when pregnant but of course they are all models who are pregnant. They don't look like regular women when not pregnant so of course they aren't going to look like regular women when pregnant.

[Fee]

One of the things I believe doesn't help is pregnant models. I looked nothing like them when pregnant but of course they are all models who are pregnant. They don't look like regular women when not pregnant so of course they aren't going to look like regular women when pregnant.

So those women in those mags and other women who are that size - are they not "regular" women???

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

So those women in those mags and other women who are that size - are they not "regular" women???

Nope - nor are we "real". Apparently, "real" women are 5'1 tall and size 12-26. Size 26 and 5'1? That's diet time, not shopping time! That's a pet peeve of mine, especially in shop windows, because no-one caters for the women almost 6' tall and a size 8 (American 4)... well, they do, but who wants to pay £1000 for a dress when "real" women can get a tent - I mean dress - for £20?

This is why I love fashion magazines, it makes me feel like my body is normal. This is why I'm even loving having a bit of a belly now!

[expat]

Mary, I hear what you're saying about those women looking like crud cos they feel like crud but I honestly think it's a vicious cycle. I feel like crud when I haven't had my hair cut for 6 months and my eyebrows are out of control but it's amazing what a pick me up it is to groom yourself a little and feel good about the way you look. Being a yummy mummy is to me more about looking like you can pull it all together and have some pride in the way you present yourself and less about what clothes size you wear. True, it is easier to present an elegant picture of yourself at a size 8 rather than a 16 but body shape only go so far, grooming can do a lot for you.


I had a friend in highschool who was a typical little Calabrese chickie! Her parents and siblings were all short and 'rounded' yet I never went over there and saw anything less than perfection in their presentation of their house and themselves. They took pride in their presentation and worked the best they could with their genes. I had another friend whose family was the total picture of what Hitler wanted for Germany...tall, arian, athletic and gorgeous, yet they obviously didn't give a squat about their presentation, there were always huge piles of papers everywhere, the garden was a mess, the sofa was more dog hair than uphostery and I don't think I ever saw a clean floor in that place...and I was there a fair bit in my school days!

If you look at potential to look like a picture of perfection, the 2nd family obbiously had a head start, yet their attitude to their presentation was lacking and it showed.

It's the same on an individual level, you can have as much natural beauty as you like and do nothing with it and be nothing special or you can show the world that you respect yourself and like to be the best you can be and it counts for a lot more IMHO.

[MrsFabuloso]

I agree, I think it's sad that society is pressuring people into wanting to be what is not reasonable. I too am/ was a size 14 pre pg. Ialso had isues pre pg and early on- I was sooo worried at the begining of my pg that I would get 'too' big, but as time went on I just accepted that I WILL get bigger and that is the most normal thing in the world. I am pg and if I wasn't getting bigger it would probably mean something is wrong with me or my little baby inside me.
I eat when I want to (which is less than pre pg!!), trying to make sure it is healthy for me and bubba, exercise when I have the energy and sleep when I can. I have put on 9kg so far and that is as normal as you can get. If that makes me lazy or unacceptable in society's eyes then so be it. I am learning not to worry too much about what anyone else thinks of me noone's opinions of me matter EXCEPT MINE- considering I am healthy and so is bubba. I heard a saying the other day- 'My self worth is not caught up in your opinions of me'... I think everyone should live their live with that thought!
I have gotten pretty big, and I still have 7 weeks to go, with alot of people telling me so, even my mum saying ' Well you definately don't take after me, I was tiny'...(mind you she is tiny herself at 5'0 and about 50 kg now at 60yrs old! I can only imagine what she looked like when she was 25-30 yrs) but I try to ignore them. Everyone is different and pg is a blessing and we should realise that, so many women/people have trouble achieving it. I am trying to focus on my mental state, if bubba is ok and if I feel healthy physically, not if I look good.
I am also focusing on getting back to my pre pg state- reasonably healthy and fit, and then some, although I'm not being unrealistic. I know that I will probably feel different, be tired/overwhelmed etc and things will happen slowly... but I want to be healthy for my baby, my DH and myself, not for society.

Kellie.