Big hugs to you. I've walked that path - had a horrible scan with my DD when we were basically told she had a 1 in 10 chance of being born "normal and healthy". She is fine now, thank goodness but the whole experience was terrifying and extremely stressful.
And then I fell pg with number 2. Needless to say we were extremely anxious before the scan at 12 weeks.
People asked us if we'd thought about not having it? But it was never really a question with us - we'd much rather know and be prepared than not know and be surprised.
The things that helped me get thru the first 12 weeks to my scan were keeping it quiet until after the scan - we told lots of people with my first and then had to deal with them trying to "help" as we processed the swathe of emotions we were dealing with.
Also - we returned to the same sonographer as we used first time, he was fantastic the first time and in using him again, we knew we'd be in good hands. Not only was he an excellent doctor but he knew our history and was especially gentle with us.
He also knew to go straight to the nuchal fold, so we could get the worst of the anticipation out of the way as soon as possible. He didn't string it out - he welcomed us into his room, got me on the bed, said "ok let's see what we've got", next thing he said was "straight away I can see the nuchal fold is a lot smaller than it was with your daughter."
Once he took the measurements and we were assured it was all ok, then he asked us how we were and how our DD was.
I think if you're able to return to someone you have a rapport with, that will help.
All the best with the scan. Praying it goes really well for you
I'm scared about 12 week scan
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