sadly i think it's part and parcel of being a long termer or having been through a miscarriage/loss. the innocence is just gone from everything. we tend to live with apprehension rather than being able to embrace the happiness we would feel if we'd not been through so much to get to that point

try and embrace the fact you're pregnant, and not dwell on the negatives as much as possible. celebrate every little milestone.

good luck with your first scan