Parenting after LT TTC #3

oh hun i agree im sick of this heat,i wish it would start cooling down a bit thats for sure.
its so hot sometimes i cant nurse my bubba girl as were both sweeting on each other:shakehead:

Re sticky weather my mum suggested a wrap in between us and it works really well.

ATM baby is sleeping but I'm still so frazzelled, I've been trying the colic medicine which seams to have taken the edge off but baby is still screaming when he does a poo (soft and right colour)

Off to weigh him tomorrow :pray: he's put on weight so I can feel a little more happy about how much milk he's getting.

Have a great day all
:grouphug:

Hello,
I'm back from cheesey chick flicks pergatory. Ahh, but it was fun just me and jazz propped up on the floor watching Sex and the City and every kind of girlie movie. there seems to be an English fella taking the place of old Hugh Grant and popping up in all the same rom com genre. I'm so out of touch, I don't even have a clue who any of the actors were except one had Isla Fischer. Now you can all put that in your UI file.

Ohhh sistas!!!!! I am so hearing you on the sticky, humid, hot, hot, hot heat. Plus we have mozzies and sandflies that are doing my head in so we have to lock ourselves inside away from any breeze and drip from the pits as I write this! While DH was away (of course), we had an almighty electrical storm and it scared the cr@p out of me. i rang DH and asked him if I'd missed a cyclone warning, it was probably the most intense lightning and thunder I've ever experienced but it didn't last too long.

Grub...are you serious, my post was long, oh how quickly you forget:shakehead: :lol:I'm just glad we moved out of the pg thread because a certain Miss BOC was snapping at our heals for longest post! Nah, I doubt I'll ever go back to having the time to write novels though I would dearly love to and i go around with half written posts in my head of things I want to write (hmm, yes, I may need to get a life). Oh that's right, I have one, that's why I only think them:wall:

Arggghh! Speak of the pint sized devil. I swear, not only does she have meal time radar, but she has belly belly radar,I doubt i have written one post with two hands or uninterrupted EVER. She was fully amusing herself in her cot too. her fave thing is watchng ceiling fans, it's the cutest thing watching her laughing away.

ok, so clearly, it's not long post time yet again...I give up. She is getting too big for the one handed hold at the computer .

But, cant go without saying Bravo Acacia for your comments for Poppy and thanks heaps for all your support for me and Jazz.

Also, love your work Marcellus...great advice as always and thanks all for your thoughts for Jazz. It's not a tough job, she's wonderful and it just gives us more purpose to get her on track so she isn't left behind.

Oooh and Poppy, your baby is so gorgeous, he looks like he is tiny. those pics with his dad remind me of jazz's little body. ouch...sore back.xox

Hi Everyone

Looks like we all must be busy (so I am) but just dropping in to see how everyone is going.

We have had a couple of unsettled days, I think the side effects from the immunisations kicked in on Sunday. I even had to resort to baby panadol to help with the discomfort... Now Tara is basically sleeping most of the day away and only waking for feeds and then back to bed. Yesterday she didn't wake up until 10am and then was back in bed at 11am. Although when she woke up we went grocery shopping but she was still back asleep at 1pm and then back to bed again at 2.30pm until 5.30pm (although she had very unsettled sleep).

Today she woke up at 9.30am, back to bed at 10.30am and she is in bed again now since 1pm. Basically when she has been waking up she has been cranky and just wanting food and then after feeding and a little play she is going back to bed about an hour to an hour and a half of being awake. Hopefully she will be better tomorrow as we have Mothers group in the morning and then all the mums & bubs are going off to the local pub for lunch to celebrate my birthday for Thursday. It will be nice to spend a few hours out of the house and the mums are really nice so that makes it even better.

Anyway better get back to my baking for morning tea tomorrow, it's my turn.... Hedgehog slice and Butter Cake, just something simple..

Hi everyone,

Guess we are all very busy mums.

Kelly, so sorry to hear Tara having a tough time. Lyla was a bit like that when she has her immunisation. When we went for her 6 month immunisation she spat out the vaccine. The nurse had to pinch her nose and pour it down her throat. Immunisation gets harder when they are older so watch out.

Smithy, how are you traveling girl. Has your little on sorted out with the constipation?

Hi Grub, Murph and everyone else.

AFU, we are doing well. Lyla is somewhat recovered from her cold. Thanks Marcellus for the tip about the steamer, I almost forgot it as we didn't have to use it by the time she reached 3 months. Lyla is so very active. She gets so exciteable, her who body shakes and she would make this panting gurgly sound. It makes me laugh every time. I find that she is increasing engaging and attend to our conversation. She would start babbling upon me looking at her... so very cute.... oh the joy of motherhood!

Hi everyone,

I'm having a very quiet day at home because I've got the flu on top of a cold as of last night - still in pyjamas (it's 12.30pm here) and no housework - DH is working at home today to help me out. DD is asleep and I'm happily ensconced on the couch.

Kelly - how did the results from your ultrasound go hun? I hope that everything is okay and that you're not in too much pain :hug: Hope Tara is a little more settled so that you can get out and enjoy your birthday celebrations! One thing I thought I might mention is that when bubs are going through a growth spurt they can be very unsettled/grumpy and sleep a lot more - this happened with my DD. In the lead up to her growth spurts she would feed a lot more to increase my supply, but then she would act really tired and unhappy during the growth spurt - she'd sleep heaps more during the day. Babies produce the hormone they need for growth during sleep (which is why they sleep so much anyway!) so the extra sleeping could be growth spurt time for Tara, as well as recovering from those vaccinations. Hope things settle down soon.

Kahlan - glad to hear Lyla is improving - my DD didn't get her first cold until she was about 5 months or so, so it was a bit of a shock for me! We got there with lots of snot sucking (lol one of those bulb things) and another tip that really helped us was to have her cot/bassinet tilted at an angle to help with draining mucous from their nose/throat to help breathing easier. Another thing I've done as we don't have a vapouriser is just simply to put a bowl of warm water under her cot - it evaporates as they're sleeping (especially overnight) and just helps keep the air in their room moist.

Greenslw - hang in there! I know it's so stressful to have a baby that is distressed with poo. My DD was shocking in the first 3 months. She had bucketloads of wind despite lots and lots of burps and so much winding and she seemed to have so much trouble eliminating, despite mustardy, runny normal BF poos. So much grunting, straining and screaming! :( I read information that made heaps of sense to my as to why my DD was having that much trouble eliminating both poo and wind (often needing assistance) that says that some babies have trouble coordinating the muscles required to eliminate. They have to tense their abdominal muscles whilst relaxing their pelvic floor muscles (we all have to do this to eliminate) and some babies haven't got the hang of this and have to learn it over time. Often it is associated with babies that have been born via c/s as being squeezed out of the birth canal seems to help with the process of babies becoming aware of their bodies. How was your DS born? In any case, I can tell you that it definitely improves. By 3 months she was so much better most of the time, and by 5 months she was able to poo/get rid of wind without any distress at all. Some things that helped us in the early days was massaging tummy (in a clockwise direction - the same way the bowel moves), lots of bicycling legs (helps to stimulate the bowel) and drawing knees up to her chest whilst on her back when we knew she needed to poo (this actually helped to teach her to release her pelvic floor muscles and really made a difference over time). I'm sure you'll see huge improvement over time, even though it feels like such a long time now. Glad to hear he's got great weight gains - that was something I kept telling myself to help feel better about it - my DD was putting on weight so well, and was so healthy despite it, and we would get through the difficulties in time. Thinking of you :hug:

:hello: Smithy - thinking of you and little Charlie, hun :hug:

Phew - long post guys (on the right day I'm sure I could beat all you ladies for post length!! :p)

Hi to everyone else - hope you're all well.

:grouphug:

Murph glad you went and did some girly stuff gota love a chick flick, Lincoln has a dinner radar.

Kelly so sad when they're unsettled, I'm not looking forward to immunisations.

Kahlan glad Lyla is betta

Acacia thanks for the ray of light. DS was VB, no CS here, but that does make sence. he screams when I do any of the rubbing and leg things, I persist for a while but doing squats seams to be great to settle him, and good for my legs. :D

Well not only does DS have wind he has thrush! great ha, well he seams to be getting happier already. He hasn't slept for more than an hour in a couple of days I'm getting distressed, so off to the GP tomorrow. But hopefully with some medication on board he'll settle more, then with more sleep we can all cope with the wind better.

I've only had 2 hours the last few days cos DH takes baby after his 8pm feed so I can sleep. Not sustainable. But last night after wind woke him up I settled him and he slept for an hour :leap: I'm hoping this is a turning point.

So I'm finding myself wide awake and energised at the moment so sad on only 3 hours sleep. :lol: but it's a relitive isn't it.

I'd love to share an image of DS but it's not working. :wall:

green - you are doing a great job. i hope lincoln settles down a bit with the sleeping soon. I found Ash liked me bouncing (gently) on a fit ball... might help if your legs get sore lol.

acacia - it was good to read your advice. it wasn't for me but was so reassuring with what you said about the wind getting better.

kahlan - i'm so glad Lyla is feeling better and i loved to read about how interactive and fun she is! i can't wait for the babbling and giggles :)

kelly - have a great birthday tomorrow love! and hope Tara is more herself today.

murph lol ... i think its a baby thing... "oh, mum's bum just hit the toilet seat, now would be a great time to scream to high heavens'' and "oh, mum is attempting to eat, better crack it bit time''. lol. i'm sure Ash has a spy cam in his room.

hi marcellus, neptune, smithy, megan, BG

Poppy - how are you going? has the feeding settled down a bit?

afm - we are pretty well. i'm glad the weather has cooled off :) Ash is still having bowel ouchies but not at every feed and i suspect a little bit of reflux as i found if i feed him while he straddles my leg, he is much better. Getting him weighed tomorrow and i'll be interested to see how he's going... his 000 outfits are getting very small already and he's only been in them a couple of weeks!

So some feeds are a real battle, others a breeze wtf?? He slept from 7pm to 3am straight :) actually to 5.30am but I did a ''dream feed'' at 3am when i woke up and he drained one boob and went back down for a couple more hours. He only really wanted to poo, nappy change and a snack at 5.30am and is back asleep now :)

he discovered his hands yesterday and they've been in his gob most of the time... so far down his throat he was making himself cry! lol. he's also discovered mummy's face is like, really, really fascinating and tries to touch it (resutls in lots of bangs and punches lol).

Funny thing happened the other night. Ash woke up for a feed, crying and I jump out of bed like usual. Barely awake.... unfortunately the wind had blown our bedroom door shut. Should have really opened my eyes lol.. BANG walked right into the door. DH laughed his butt off hhhmmmm so i made sure the door couldn't blow shut last night. It made me realise that i am completely driven by instinct. i'll be dead asleep, he'll cry out once and before i know it I'm in his room only just waking up lol.

have a great week ladies.
and raspberries on all little bellies :)

:grouphug: aww thank you girls for thinking of me in your perrsies your all so clever lol it means a lot to pop in and see my name hehehehe
me on the other hand still not enough time to catch up im reading through the posts but as soon as i go to do perssies my bubba girl knows im sure and start stiring :shakehead: but i promise to try in a couple of days .
were going uummmmmmm ummmmmmm well ok :lol: i had to change formula yesterday to the S26 AR THICKEND FORMULA as im getting no sleep LIKE YOU GREEN LOL and i was feeding bubs every 2.5 3 hrs and am just exausted,had a few good crys over the past few days then take charlie to be weighed and our nurse says OH NO LUV YOUR OVER FEEDING HER SHES GOING TO GET SO FAT :o i was like well what the hell am i suppose to do if shes hungry
then she says try and hold her off for a while and keep her awake then feed her
YEH RITE SHES 4 WEEKS OLD AND IVE TRIED THAT LADY im not stupid we try and play with her ,burp her omg we try everything..so any way the new formula is working a bit better i actually got 4 hrs last night so thats ok :clap: ill keep plodding along.
you would think i knwe what i was doing after already having the 4 girls BUT NO I HAVE NO CLUE LOL ,its like im learning all over again so any suggestions girls im so open to them .
anyways better go now ill catch up soon thanks all so much for thinking of me once again take care all and big hugs to each and every on of you
oh hang on and charlie said to give you all KISSY KISSY AND A NOSEY NOSEY

Smithy, unless you're force feeding her then I really don't think you can overfeed a baby :hug: I know sometimes when they have reflux they like to eat more as it helps them feel better, although the extra milk ends up making them feel worse. Does she take a dummy? I know it may be different with formula, but 2-3 hour feeds sounds very normal to me.

Green - hang in there. Thrush makes them so unsettled and uncomfortable. Once the meds kick in thiings will be a lot better I'm sure. Do you have thrush also?

Hope your face is alright Grub!

Hope you're all better soon Acacia.

Happy Birthday for tomorrow Kelly.

DS is fine - he's had 2 nights in his big bed now. I think I want my baby back!

Hope everyone else is doing well. Hugs and kisses for you lovely babies

Grub...I was going to comment on Ash finding his hands on your FB pics. Jazz only found hers really with enough control to keep them inher mouth at between 14 and 15 weeks. Life gets so much better with hands:dance: Wait til he learns to "booby rake" to get that feed to her mouth.

I can't remember what else I wanted to say:doh:

Oh yes, for tomorrow, in case I don't get back in time, big huge happy birthday greetings to Kelly:confetti::happybirthday::happybirthday::conf etti::birthday2:

Oh shucks, thanks girls for the birthday wishes for tomorrow..

I also want to send big birthday wishes for Miss M for tomorrow as well :happybirthday:. I know you have your hands full at the moment but have a fab day.

And my special birthday present a day early is..... Tara now perfecting the back to tummy roll. She thinks she is so ace now that she can do it on her own, she even did it at MG today when I wasn't even looking. I put her down on the floor and went to get my cuppa and came back and she was on her tummy. She decided to do it another 3 times just to show off, and tonight she did it 3 times in a row for daddy as well. Only problem, mmm she doesn't know how to get back again........

Anyway, better go get her organised for bed. After 2 days of her sleeping for on average 20 hours we seem to be back to normal although I love that she now sleeps in until 9.30-10am every morning :D.

Hi girls,

Sorry no time for extensive persies, but just want to say Happy birthday Kelly.

Smithy - My little girl didn't stretch to 4 hourly feed until she was 6 weeks I think.

Thanks Acacia for the great advice.

Grup, I am also on autopilot haft of the time. Yay for the discovery of the hands. Lyla enjoyed herself so very much playing with her hands. During this stage I would often hang stuff above her cot for her to tough, pull down. You will find that in no time she would be putting things in her mouth. We have a turtle toy which I hang above her cot. During these early development stage I laugh so much when she would pull "Mr Turtle" for a sample of his bum... don't know why but it was always his bum that ended in her mouth!

I was very fortunate to tape many of Lyla's achievements such as her first roll. I was filming her while she was trying to roll over at 3 months and then ****ff she just did it. I was so engrossed in looking at her that I didn't know where I was pointing the camera. Luckily it was all on tape. Kelly, yeah, Lyla is the same, once on her back she can't turn back but you will find that she will turn back pretty quickly (except Lyla loves being on her tummy so refused to turn back)

AFU, DH has discovered one more tooth eruption (top front) so Lyla now has 3. Tried to poke my thumb in for a feel but she refused. She is so very funny. She often grabbed DH's fingers and stuff them in her mouth. Now with teeth it really hurt when she bites however she only bite after she pulled her fingers out (after guiding DH's finger in). There is no fear about her biting herself there! Cheeky bugger!

OK sort of confused and upset....so a bit of a me post....

Health visitor has just left again......LO has stacked on the weight which is good. Put on 320g in a week (or 9 1/2 ounces). Yay!

However got the whole 'putting him down' lecture again. This time I told her we were attachment parents and we didn't want him getting stressed by crying etc etc. I told her we sometimes try his crib but pick him up when he gets up to the hysterical crying stage (usually about 2 minutes!!) He has had a few times when he has happily lain in there and looked at his mobile and gurgled happily but he just will not nod off. He only sleeps in the sling or when lying next to me in bed (usually after nodding off on the boob) He will sleep for stretches of 4-5 hours in bed with us at night. I wasn't going to tell her we co-sleep but had to because she kept asking. I said I do it safely and she said it cannot be done safely. She asked me how I feel about the whole 'putting him down' thing and I said that I feel guilty only because I feel I 'should' be doing it but in my heart I don't want to. She said fair enough and then started the whole 'you might not mind it now but in a few months time....'

We then started on the breastfeeding and she said she thinks he is doing it mainly for comfort and that is why he fusses at the breast sometimes because he is not really hungry but is taking it because it has been offered. She said I need to delay feeding times.

Ultimately she said everything is up to me and what I want to do but I still hate all this 'should' stuff. I feel I stood up for myself really well this time but am scared I am going to go into another decline about what I 'should' be doing. I think I am not that influenced by her and I do have tons of 'attachment' parent support at the children's centre and on here on BB but it still gets at me a bit. Aghhhhh!!!:wall:

Oh, poppy! I'm really shocked and very upset for you! Grrrr I'm fuming for you!! :angry: Your HV should if giving you advice that is potentially dangerous and against the recommended advice for breastfeeding.

Babies should have unrestricted access to the breast and her asking you to delay feeds is ludicrous. Yes, your DS is using the breast for comfort, but what else what you want him to do when he is not comfortable?? It's important that he feeds/comforts on the breast as often as he wants to make sure your supply matches his needs (babies often appear to be comfort sucking when they in fact can be working at increasing your supply for a growth spurt - this happened to me regularly).

You should have received a brochure from your HV about co-sleeping safely (it's fairly patronising cartoon thing, but nonetheless it's a proper NHS document given to parents by their health visitors) and I'm shocked that your HV is saying that you can't co-sleep safely. I received the brochure within two visits I think. It's WONDEFUL that your DS is sleeping for 4-5 hours for a go with you in bed - that's brilliant for his age, and allows you to get some REST. It's also WONDERFUL that is able to spend some time happily "playing" on his own in his crib and nod off sometimes. You're doing beautifully!!

In a few months time, things will be completely different in any case and she has NO WAY to know what is going to work for you or your DS months from now, and speculating is unproductive and scaremongering, which is so WRONG when dealing with a new mother! :hug: You are comfortable with your parenting choices now, and are aware of the affects of them - that is all that matters, not speculation about what you're going to be comfortable with in the future - she doesn't even know you!

You can request another health visitor if you feel the need - and I would definitely suggest it. I'm not sure of the procedure for this, but I would contact your local PCT to find out. This woman is clearly not doing her job which is to give up-to-date information for you and your baby's health as well as providing support and giving you the confidence you need to parent in the difficult early days/weeks/months, within the frame of your parenting choices. She is giving you negative feedback, shaking your confidence and making things much harder than they should be when you are doing BRILLIANTLY.

Don't delay his feeds, keep sleeping in a way that keeps him settled and you getting rest and ignore what your HV has to say. It is NORMAL for babies to have unsettled periods, even when you are trying to put him on the breast. They have so much to process and deal with in the big outside world - it is overwhelming for them! Babies aren't meant to be moulded into being independent, robot beings that just feed and sleep at your command, to a schedule and on their own. Your HV is outdated, uninformed and not doing her job properly, IMO. I'm not surprised she is getting to you - her language sounds guilt ridden and almost manipulative, not at all supportive and open. There are other HVs out there who do do their job properly (I've been lucky to have 2 of them).

Congratulations on those awesome weight gains (BF babies often put on weight so well in the early days because they are taking in sustenance that is so perfectly matched to their needs, and there is no such thing as too much weight gain in exclusively BF bub) and congratulations on the wonderful, secure, loving environment that you are giving your DS in the most important and crucial developmental time in his life :hug: Don't let it shake, you are doing SO WELL, poppy. :hug:

Acacia - thanks soooo much for your lovely and supportive post. I have tears in my eyes!! I am not inviting her again to my house. I have tons of support and advice from Attachment Parenting advocates in my local children's centre so I don't need her. DH says to me to stop calling her the 'HV' and merely call her the 'weighing lady' as we will only see her at clinic to get DS weighed and we should only listen to what she tells us about his weight (which we can also just read off the scales ourselves!!)

I am really interested to see that NHS pamphlet on safe co-sleeping as I only got the one that said 'babies should never sleep in their parent's bed' Perhaps Dorset is a little more progressive than Somerset!!! LOL We don't get the cloth nappy allowance here so I shouldn't be surprised that they would be a bit backward here!!

Very sensible, reassuring words Acacia.

Poppy, you hang in there love, trust your instincts. You are doing a wonderful job.

KellyD - happy birthday, hope you had a great day! Rolling sure is a great pressie.

Grub - I'm still laughing about your smash into the door :rofl: Hope little Ash is well.

Adam just waking up, so a big hello to Murph, smithy, Marcellus, Kahlan, Green and anyone I've missed.

All's well in my camp.

Ok after a very VERY bad day I'm after some advice ladies.
I went to the GP yesterday who was really lovely, DS cried no screamed most of the time, she was happy for me to feed while we checked him over ears etc. He hasn't slept propperly in his bed or anywere but in the sling since Sunday his wind is worse and i'm atthe end of my rope. Well I was yesterday.

He'll be sound asleep then he arches his back pulls and awful face and lets out a squeak of pain which wakes him up, then cries cos he's awake and wants to be held, or normal and completly understandable but not good for DH and I.

My GP said it may be silent reflux so we're trying him on some milanta (yes you heard me right) only 2mls before a feed. Well his normal feeds, he's been so unsettled I have topped him up a few times.

But I though oh this is making him calmer but NO, he is worse than before.

I changed the colic medicine too but have changed back to see if I can gage the milanta properly without another medication in there. OMG so many siringes around my house :o

My GP also said he may be lactos intolorant :cry: I hope not after all the hard work we've both put in to BF.

So last night he was in our arms in bed, DH had him for the first couple of hours then I had him, He still had the pain but obviously settled easily. At 4.40 after a feed I though "i'll try you back in your own bed, so I can cuddle with DH (need lots atm)" well he slept for an hour, I could still hear him moving with his wind but he slept then woke up Screaming mark 10! I

I'm at a bit of a loose end, I don't know if I should continue the gp medication ritual, my pediatrian is booked solid till 9/3, WHAT TO DO?

Has anyone had a lactos intolarant babe?

Hope the me post is ok, I really feel helpless at the moment.


Babe still sleeping so I'll give personals a go :D

Smithy :hug: nurses are big on not over feeding babie I had the same chat but I did a rasberry in my head. What ever works for you. hope the new formula works.

Kelly Happy b'day hope you had a great one :cheer:

poppy :hug: oh hun I'm hoping both of us turn the corner real soon.

Kahlan I was giggling at your DH getting his fingers munched, DS loves my finger in his mouth I guess I have that to look forward too.

grub thanks for sharing your DS little adventures. I love the night snack analergy

Morning Acacia & Neptune

marcellus no thrush here, I've been taking probiotics since birth as a friend got it very bad after he DD. I've been using the medication on my boobs too, lovely yellow sticky stuff.