Myturn - I was the same as you when DS was born. It took me a long time to "feel" like a mum. For so long I had been a career woman and that was more my life than being home and taking care of a baby. I felt bonded with him and loved him like crazy but it still felt strange to have this human being being 100% my responsibility. I think it was around the 12 week mark that I started "feeling" like a mum. Funny enough it was being around other mums at baby group that made me feel part of the club. For me parenthood and families was always some club that I didn't belong to. And now I feel am in. And the love and obsession grows as they grow. Now he is my BFF and I couldn't imagine life without him.

As for my parenting style I think I am like Juniper and trying different things. I am really into attachment parenting and discipline with kindness theory. Not too sure how its all going to go in reality but its something that is on my mind a lot and am going to try really hard to do it differently from my parents style. I think being a LTTTC made getting up in the middle of the nights so much easier. As tired as I was I would hold him tight and think of how many women would love to be me right now. Thats what I think of when DS is being challenging. It switches my mind straight away and seems to give me endless patience. I just hope that it doesn't lead to weakness in years to come.

As for telling DS how he was conceived we will when he is older. I have kept a journal of our IVF journey. Its all in there. Even the mm/c. I have been open with our ttc journey.

I dont think I would have done anything differently ttc. I got onto Drs at the 6 month mark of ttc and straight onto IVF. We went hard doing pretty much back to back cycles and even though it took us only 13 months of IVF to conceive DS it was a lot of emotions, hormones and $$ in that 13 months. All up it was 2 years of TTC and I am still exhausted by it all.

3 major heartbreaks when ttc were the mm/c and then the next cycle the embryologist pulling a fertilised embryo out of my whilst putting 2 embryos in me. The third one being on our first cycle waking up to find I had a polyp right where they would put the embryo so couldn't go ahead with a transfer that month. I felt like my body was a total failure. Again!!! Of course every BFN was a heartbreak. Especially the 1st one.

My proudest moments are pretty much every day. The way I love my DS and parent him I am really proud of. I am really investing in him and our relationship. I know its only early stages and he is 13 months so not in the hard zone yet but I can tell he adores me and just loves to be with me. I love how his face lights up when I come in the door at daycare and rushes up to me and snuggles me. I know I am his favourite person.

Has anyone else's relationship with their other half changed? Mine has lost that rosy glow. He is a good dad and has certainly come a long way from those newborn days. I feel our relationship is moving into the friend zone. We are just going through the motions. I feel like I am not giving he enough attention but sort of feel like why bother when he is not invested in me. We have our own business so he is all about that. Thats his thing. His only thing. My thing is DS, work, taking care of the home. I know he loves me and I love him, but we are just off at the moment. DS interests me more these days. Sad but true.