Hi girls, remember me?
I'm so sorry I haven't been back to post and probably still won't be able to come in for a while (and anyway, I'm meant to move on to the next thread but I will miss you all so much til you are in there too).
I have read lots of the latest posts to catch up today and again, I'm sorry for no big personals, it's mostly about me to let you know where things have been and how things are going. I can't take on the newbies, so I have to leave you in the care of the gorgeous old hands in here (i.e Grub, Smithy, BOC and others). You'll know yourselves when you reach the point and have to move on and shock horror, with babe in arms, you no longer get quite as much joy from other relationships.
Miss Magpie...huge and mighty congrats on little man Trent and your big effort to get him into the world safely!! I have to tell you though that staying an extra day was the least of my worries, if I hadn't fought to find common sense in the whole of the hospital system in Cairns, we would have only just got let out yesterday when Jasmine reached the magical healthy weight range they wanted her in (2.5 kilos)! Somewhat ridiculous when we have been gaining that weight at home happily and healthily.
Jasmine weighed 2.44kg at birth and for the lack of 60 g she was threatened every 5 minutes with being supplementary fed, placed in special care again and taken from me. I'm happy to say that she got one supplementary feed (though fights and tension ensued between special care nurses and breast feeding advocate midwives. Score 1 to excellent midwife and us, Jasmine threw up her only supplementary feed. It's very contraversial, you have to sign papers to say it's okay to supp feed and they didn't do that with me. the midwife was livid and it was mighty tense. Its my choice, it's not that I judge what other people choose or are forced to decide. It was a wholly stressful ordeal for me and I so nearly came to blows with one hovering (get your boobs out midwife). We finally got a conditional leave pass, we were released to my local hospital which is a gorgeous warm and welcoming old heritage hospital. I cried my heart out that first night because I had no idea how long it would be before they released us and watching my beautiful DH walk away yet another day without his girls was heartbreaking. You have to feel for these wonderfully supportive men of ours who support us the absolute most and can't even stay with you and share that time in your life. My hospital room in Mossman was lovely and I was a guest there really, with Jazzy the patient. the staff were excellent, had loads of common sense, never once threatened to take our baby and set me up with my own bathing and changing station where after 5 days we gave her her first bath and we had a lovely old cane bassinet. I had a single room and ensuite which opened to big sweeping verandah in an old people's ward. How gorgeous, I was woken to the sounds of Slim Dusty and one morning one of the locals brought in her 4 month old grandson to visit me. How funny. It was the complete opposite experience to the surgical environment in Cairns. Surgical environments have their place, but not long term. You get treated like a number and not a person. In Mossman we were celebrities, we had visits from every staff member rotating through a shift as babies are such a rare thing there these days. Even me as a caesarian case was useful to train staff up on so it was an amazing experience to feel so welcome and embraced and in charge of my baby above all else. It was a relief to get out of cairns, it was freezing cold and sterile and don't get me started but every girl I met, hated the experience, the culture of threatening to take your baby and supplementary feed and every nurse and midwife expecting you to get your boobs out and show them your attachment. Man I wasted so many years being a prude when i could have been a porn star or at least a lot less inhibited! I've had my boobs out for every man woman and dog I've seen since starting this breastfeeding gig and although we are pretty good with the whole thing, you don't have the rapport with everyone you meet to flop em out and get going iykwim! And I tell you what, there are occasions where you just can't be discreet when your boob is exploding and spraying and you are laughing behind your wrap which is threatening to expose you as your baby tugs both boob and wrap and milk is pouring out. that was my experience yesterday (just an ordinary day out at the audiologists where even there, they expect you to breast feed you baby as part of relaxing your baby...what the...??? Anyway after two visits I'm an old pro and what's a bit of exploding breast milk between you and a young male audiologist!!! You have to know me to know I'm kidding, although it's true and it's all just a huge learning experience.
Oh, oops, by the way, thank you all sooooooo much for your support and congrats to both me and DH on our birth. It was an overwhelming feeling of love and warmth and we both appreciated it so much. Now promise there won't be tears when I tell you a little bit of our news and what we have been dealing with. Promise!!! I have made my family and friends cry when we havent' even cried ourselves (yet maybe), but Jazzy has been diagnosed profoundly deaf in both ears. It was confirmed yesterday and honestly we are not upset. It's a challenge and poses hurdles and we will do everything to give her the best life and best chances at hearing or communicating but we dont' have a clear picture yet, there are lots of tests to find out what her damage is and if she can be fitted for hearing aids, cochlear implants or whatever other options. for now we continue to talk as normal and treat her no differently. There are masses of support available and someone is even doing a house visit way up here tomorrow, so that's pretty damn impressive. So no tears for us...this girl is gorgeous and her Dad said yesterday "she is the most beautiful thing I've seen in my whole life". Being the scientist that he is, he backed this up by saying that he'd thought long and hard about saying it but as beauty is in the eye of the beholder it is most definitely true. I have to admit, all bias aside, DH never looked more beautiful to me than the moment of looking into his eyes at her birth and nothing looks as beautiful as my little girl. You will all feel the same and it's amazing and I believe Janie when she says, it just gets better.
P.S I love everything about these early days and weeks. Ithought it would be a time to just kind of get through and I'd be scared to be left alone and feel overwhelmed, but it's just wonderful and cheesey as it sounds, we are just so incredibly blessed.
Love and miss you all stax but can't really come back til I get my new computer.
.
. It's very contraversial, you have to sign papers to say it's okay to supp feed and they didn't do that with me. the midwife was livid and it was mighty tense. Its my choice, it's not that I judge what other people choose or are forced to decide. It was a wholly stressful ordeal for me and I so nearly came to blows with one hovering (get your boobs out midwife). We finally got a conditional leave pass, we were released to my local hospital which is a gorgeous warm and welcoming old heritage hospital. I cried my heart out that first night because I had no idea how long it would be before they released us and watching my beautiful DH walk away yet another day without his girls was heartbreaking. You have to feel for these wonderfully supportive men of ours who support us the absolute most and can't even stay with you and share that time in your life. My hospital room in Mossman was lovely and I was a guest there really, with Jazzy the patient. the staff were excellent, had loads of common sense, never once threatened to take our baby and set me up with my own bathing and changing station where after 5 days we gave her her first bath and we had a lovely old cane bassinet. I had a single room and ensuite which opened to big sweeping verandah in an old people's ward. How gorgeous, I was woken to the sounds of Slim Dusty and one morning one of the locals brought in her 4 month old grandson to visit me. How funny. It was the complete opposite experience to the surgical environment in Cairns. Surgical environments have their place, but not long term. You get treated like a number and not a person. In Mossman we were celebrities, we had visits from every staff member rotating through a shift as babies are such a rare thing there these days. Even me as a caesarian case was useful to train staff up on so it was an amazing experience to feel so welcome and embraced and in charge of my baby above all else. It was a relief to get out of cairns, it was freezing cold and sterile and don't get me started but every girl I met, hated the experience, the culture of threatening to take your baby and supplementary feed and every nurse and midwife expecting you to get your boobs out and show them your attachment. Man I wasted so many years being a prude when i could have been a porn star or at least a lot less inhibited! I've had my boobs out for every man woman and dog I've seen since starting this breastfeeding gig and although we are pretty good with the whole thing, you don't have the rapport with everyone you meet to flop em out and get going iykwim! And I tell you what, there are occasions where you just can't be discreet when your boob is exploding and spraying and you are laughing behind your wrap which is threatening to expose you as your baby tugs both boob and wrap and milk is pouring out. that was my experience yesterday (just an ordinary day out at the audiologists where even there, they expect you to breast feed you baby as part of relaxing your baby...what the...??? Anyway after two visits I'm an old pro and what's a bit of exploding breast milk between you and a young male audiologist!!! You have to know me to know I'm kidding, although it's true and it's all just a huge learning experience.
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