Hi Ladies, Just to clear up it was never a "yes" to the birth but even having her around at my place was making me feel sick. I was up till 3am.

I phoned DF this morning and said what I felt and he said "it's all about me and whatever I want is fine" thank goodness.

So new plan, my mum is on leave for 6 weeks from due date. I love my mum and she gets my "get out" signals and also I'm happy for her to see me cry, fall over etc. So MIL can come after that and stay for a couple of weeks, I'm going to know my baby and have started to work on a ruitine (wether it works is another thing) but then she can be helpful not under foot. I'm still not happy about the pay 1/2 but I'll leave that up to DF. I second you DH comments Grub if they can stay out of it they will.

I'm actually thinking of having my mum at the birth a few of my friends have and found it really helpful. I want her up my end but I thought it may be nice to have someone who I know went through it around. DF is really stepping up with the pep talking too which is good, I felt a little on my own for a while.

So It looks like lots of support but on my terms and I feel so empowered now I think when I'm tired and a bit hormonal I seam to waiver from the strong determined woman I am. Especially when I'm caught off guard.

ALSO my brain is gone. HELP! staff are being pretty supportive which is nice but I feel like an idiot. Still think I might get some couselling but I'll see how my meeting with my manager goes Thursday. Just need someone to vent too.

Welcome kyrawolfe goodluck with the house hunting. it's a tough market and pg wouldn't be helping.

So grub 10 days and counting till DH is back! got anything spesh planned.

BOC I agrea with your money coment heaps. I know they are retired, but this seams like a spir of the moment thing, no thought. We aren't rich by any means but normally $100 would be fine, just with going down to one wage it is a bit of an ask.

LondonMiss I love the idea of sending her a list of B&B's but I think by six weeks post bub I can handle a house guest.

airline hope you managed to suprise your friend.

Thanks for the strong pep talk poppyfairy. I got there in the end.

once again thank you all so much for the boost