Hi all

Sorry I have been MIA - we have been so busy with being interstate and we only got back very late last night. It has taken me until now to quickly catch up with where everyone is at, but I am sorry that I don't have my head in the right space for personals at the moment.

So what follows is a very selfish rant post...

We had our first appointment with the midwife today, she works out of the OB's office. When I arrived I was told that my appointment was last week and by inference I had made a mistake, which was absolutely not correct as I distinctly remembered the phone conversation with the midwife and why she had set the appointment for today. And I use an electronic organiser that absolutely all of my appointments are entered into along with reminders so I don't forget anything, and I even checked the paper I had written it on when I got home - I hadn't made a mistake. And then I couldn't see the midwife because she wasn't here today! Then I was told because I hadn't shown up at the appointment last week all of my OB appointments had been cancelled because "someone" had told them I wasn't going to use her services. I was getting more and more angry by the moment, luckily DF was with me and he took over talking to the receptionist and I sat down and seethed quietly. They found me a midwife to see, so after filling out the mountain of paperwork, I told them I was going to the toilet and then we could meet the midwife. She seemed quite unsure about what to do. Eventually she told us this was her first day at the practice; normally she only works in the hospital! Then she tried to listen to our baby's heartbeat using the doppler and could only find mine. She also tried to measure my findus but gave up! I am by this stage feeling very confused and worried - why couldn't she hear our baby's heartbeat when it was so strong at the 8wk scan? She then asked me for a urine sample - HELLO - I had just been to the toilet 10mins before!!! AAHHHH!!!

I managed to squeeze out enough for a sample, then we were finally sent back into the reception area and waited. In the meantime, the OB (who we haven't seen yet) was talking to the midwife about me/us. Next thing I know she is writing a referral for another scan to be done ASAP, but only if we want too (WTF?). Oh and the final clincher - she will be overseas when our baby is due! Would have been nice to tell us that when we booked in 2 weeks ago!

I anticipated that the once we had the midwife appt that we would finally have someone who would be looking after us and giving me some level of reassurance and support. But instead I came away wondering whether my baby is even still with us and whether we should be looking for a new OB. I have heard good reports about this OB and have been told that is difficult to find a good private OB here at the moment because of the baby boom that's going on... I am so confused and stressed and worried, all of which I know is bad for our little Gizmo... Should I keep the scan appointment I have made for Friday afternoon, or leave it until the 12 week scan on 2/2?

OK, rant over and done with. Hopefully you ladies can offer me some sound advice to help relieve my worry.

xx