Pregnancy after Long Term TTC - September 2008

[Megan]

I read somewhere that woman who conceieved thru IVF are more stressed during their pregnancies then women who conceive natuarlly, and now having done one of each, I have to agree!
The process of getting PG is so much more stressful that when you are, you dont even want to think about anything bad happening, whereas with a natural conception, I guess you dont really know how lucky you are and dont think about it in so much depth.

That seems to be a bit of a general assumption (and a lot of these studies/polls that are reported on are just black and white) and one I don't think is right when it comes to my situation. I would think that I have been as stressed throughout this pg as I would have been if it had been an IVF baby. Just because I was able to conceive naturally, doesn't mean that it was an easy journey, nor does it mean that I should be less stressed about my pg.
I have come across this with my boss lately who doesn't understand why I can't enjoy my pg, and why I am so reserved about it and don't want to discuss it with her. She thinks all my problems are solved because I didn't end up needing IVF to get pg. I don't think I will ever get over our TTC journey, even if I was able to have a second baby naturally. I think I will always have trouble dealing with it.

[briggsy's girl]

i think embarking on the assisted conception journey, whether you have a natural miracle, an IUI or IVF pregnancy, the stress to achieve that pregnancy is still a lot more stressful than someone that conceives within the first 12 months of "trying", or has an "oopsie" pregnancy. i think it would apply to pregnancy after miscarriage or loss of a child - it just seems like more of a miracle when you hit milestones... i dunno, maybe i just feel like that...

[Possums]

I absolutely agree....I long journey to have a baby, whether you end up having one through IVF or miraculously conceive naturally after thinking you couldn't, leaves you more anxious/prone to worry, more likely to cherish and feel relief at every milestone...and you don't take things for granted. The innocence you would have had if you had conceived quickly and had a trouble free pregnancy is gone. Sometines I wish I had that innocence, but there is not getting it back.

Right now,l I just wish I didn't know so much information (especially about my own hormone levels!!)....because it's just more to worry about.

I feel quite separate from women who have conceived easily...sometimes even defensive and a bit angry still. Funny emotions just well up sometimes. And people who havent been through this absolutely DO NOT GET IT.

hope you are all doing well this weekend anyway!
I am back to the OB tomorrow to discuss the good scan the 'out of the norm' BT results.

[Janie71]

GL today Possums - looking forward to hearing some positive news.

I also have OB appointment today - 16 week check up. Can't wait to see bubs again!

Janie xxx

[Possums]

Hope it goes well Janie...how exciting..you'll see more at 16 weeks.

afm- I just rang and talked to my OB on the phone instead of going in...he said the scan results are encouraging, but the HCG results aren't particularly encouraging...therefore, he is still saying things could go either way, he really doesn't know....not the words I wanted to hear...but I can only think positive really. Another scan for me this friday or monday to check progress...they just want to monitor things for a while, in light of the HCG results being low. Here's hoping all keeps going well.

[tiggerlinda]

Possums the scan showed bubba nice and to size focus on that sweetie. for Friday

[Janie71]

Nicole is your first US today? If so GL hon!

Enjoy the experience.. it truely is something very special.

Janie xxx

[Nicole S]

Woo Hoo Baby June Bug has a heart beat

Talk about first us, it went so fast and it took me a while to work out what we were looking at
FS that the heart beat looks good and we are measuring in at 6 weeks and 5 days.

I recon i'm still in shock it is so weird to think that there is another beating heart in my body other than my own although... little bug's is still very small it's truly amazing to see that on the screen.

Other than that no blood test, but have my first OB appointment on Friday.

[Possums]

yay nicole!! It's wonderful to see the heartbeat....congrats!!

[scooby]

Hi girls
Possums: i definately would be going off the US i really dont think the HCG is reliable and if it hadnt risen much in that week but bubs still progressed normally then i think its got to be good, i think the ob will be very over cautious as they dont want to get yur hopes up annd also to protect themselves from the "But you told me" i think it all is looking great, stay postive.
Nicole: congrats on the little heart beating bub, thats wonderful.
Hi to all the other wonderful ladies on here

i think they use the term IVF abit loosly in those books and i have read similar, but it is just dependant on how long its taken and how hard the TTC journey has been. I fell preg first go with DS and this one has taken over 3 years to concieve including an ectopic, AI,IUI and finally IVF. And i can honestly say that this prg has been sooooo much more stressful than DS, it is an innocence that you have that nothing possibly can go wrong and things that go wrong happen to other people, my BF is pregnant with me now and she is the same in regards to when i worry, i get the "you need to get over it thing" and unless youve been thorugh it all you just cant understand. Megan you have still been through alot and although you fell naturally you will still have that anxiety just as we all feel, its been a long hard road.

Well exactly 3 monthes today my little one will be making her apperance (if she doesnt come early) very scary thought as i know the next few monthes are going to fly in, its hard though as i still find it difficult to buy things, i keep waiting till i think the time will be right, any one know when that is?

[Megan]

Scooby, 3 months will definitely fly by. Especially with Christmas in the middle there as well. I wish I knew when the right time to buy stuff was! Although we have bought a few small things (clothes and blankets), DH wants to start buying everything now! I tell him no, you have to wait. I'm only 13 weeks, and while I would like to think everything is going to go well, I definitely don't feel comfortable buying things. I feel awkward whenever we go and look at furniture. Every second day he asks if we can go and buy stuff yet!! He is just like a little kid at Christmas these days, and I'm the no fun Mum with all the rules trying to keep him in line!!

[tiggerlinda]

Megan we have started to slowly buy stuff especially if it is a good deal

Scooby 3 months till your little girl enters this world wow!

Nic on bubba's heartbeat

[Devon]

Janie - best of luck for your appointment today hun - hope you get a great look at bubs!

Possums - that heartbeat has got to mean something good is going on. Your Ob is always going to tell you the worst case scenario, but I really hope that he's just being over cautious. Hope you can get another scan on Friday and see the little heart beating away again.

Nicole - Congratulations on seeing the heartbeat! Wonderful news!! Best of luck for your appointment on Friday too!

Scooby - happy 25 weeks to you!! Wow, three months till your little girl arrives! It sure will go quickly! I've just been buying stuff anyway, we bought a cot and change table last weekend, and I freaked out a bit thinking it would jinx things, but the temptation to get organised was too strong.

Megan - how sweet that your DH is so keen to buy things!! I hope you feel like doing it soon. I refused to buy anything until I saw my Ob at 15 weeks and knew bubs was doing OK.

TL - 15 weeks! Looks like little tigger is going strong!

So yes, I can't believe I'm 25 weeks now! I can't wait to get under the 100 days to go on my ticker! I'm getting HUGE. Went on the hospital tour yesterday - very scary stuff! Nothing about natural birth, all about monitoring, interventions, caesars, neonatal intensive care etc. Am glad that we're planning on having a doula there with us.

to everyone, this is such a busy thread now.

Devon
xxxx

[Megan]

We have found what looks like a good deal on a pram. About $150 less on special than we have seen elsewhere. I'm reluctant to buy it, but no idea if we will see it at that price again. I know if we go and have another look tomorrow like DH wants to, we will walk out with a pram! lol DH may be satisfied for a while if we get it and we can get all the other big stuff later on. We'll see!

I really wanted to be able to enjoy this pg as much as possible, but I am already over everybody! I think everyone I know has kids, which makes it impossible to avoid "advice" and all their horror stories. I was told yesterday when Buddy arrives I will have no idea what I'm doing and will need all the help I can get, and there's no use pretending I know what to do. I don't think she meant it to sound as harsh as it did, but still felt like saying 'thanks for the vote of confidence!' People talk about coming and "helping" once Buddy is here. I wonder if they realise the kind of help I'll be wanting will be washing, cooking, vacuuming etc. I even had MIL showing me how to wrap a blanket properly yesterday. Not long after I got up and left her and DH at it and went and had a nana nap. I can't deal with it.
I may have absolutely no idea what I'm doing when Buddy comes home, but I'll figure out. I just want their support and maybe a little help if I ask for it. I'm so annoyed they're getting to me this early.

[briggsy's girl]

been a busy day in here - i'm struggling to keep up! but that's ok! i'm sure i'll get there! i've read a few of you mentioning being scared to jinx things by buying big ticket items too early. DH is keen to get everything early, but i'm very restrained (very unusual for me!). i've let him layby manchester and have layby'd some clothes, but refuse to arrange anything else simply because i want my new shed built first!! have to put some serious pressure on my brother - the nursery is currently full of shed stuff (tools, tool boxes, all the christmas deco's, two air con systems that need to be installed, new internal doors for the WHOLE house....) - nothing we can do until it gets gutted. the built in robe is still full of stuff from when DH was growing up, so all that has to go as well! i'm reluctant to buy stuff, but for very different reasons than the rest of you!

went back to FS for final visit today - they've changed my EDD to June 2nd based on the u/s showing a smaller bub 10 days ago. given it was an IUI not IVF, i wasn't too phased, but did mention that i thought we'd be further along based on trigger etc, and could we scan to check, and FS was all for it, so another scan next week for us. at this stage it's Wed 22nd, but might be changed. DH is an interstate truck driver and we have to fit as many of our appointments in with his work (his boss is fantastic and has been all along - so we're going to see if it's better for him to have DH home wednesday or another day during the week)

not a lot else to mention really - the nausea that had gone awol over the weekend is back with a vengeance - which FS and DH had a good ol giggle about at the appointment! mean buggers!! the nurse who organised everything and did the IUI is very happy that it's all worked, and told me that i'd missed the fine print on the contracts - that once the Gremlin arrives, it is the last stage of treatment to go back for "amanda cuddles"! i have no drama with this at all - must be pretty hard on them to constantly tell people it hasn't worked, so if i can bring her a smile at the end of a busy day, who am i to argue??

congrats to the girls that have hit the 25week mark today! what an awesome milestone!

[Megan]

BG, I thought I had a lot of stuff in our spare room! lol
We have to get rid of a heap of stuff from ours too before we start filling it up with baby furniture. Getting DH to do things in a logical order though is never easy.

[butterfly_warrior]

I have to 'fess up... we also have a room full of stuff that needs to be cleared (and likely a house full of stuff that needs to be cleared to make room for the stuff we want to keep!) before we can start putting Munchkin furniture in there.

Fortunately DH is quite sensible and logical and isn't in a huge rush to get stuff. However, we layby where we can when we find a good deal and are taking the time to research to make sure we get what we want at the best price... Sometimes the research is more fun than the actual buying!

First day of term today - didn't make it through the day and I'm off work for the next two. GP thinks it's a viral chest/sinus thing - urgh! Perfect bloody timing, too!

BW

[Possums]

morning lovely ladies...

Janie- how'd it go with the Ob yesterday and another scan?

BW- hope you feel better soon...doesnt sound fun
and I am sure shopping for stuff is fun

BG- another scan will be good to have another peek at little gremlin!
Good luck getting that room sorted out

Megan- sorry people are already at you with advice...people need to learn how to stand back and give space! and just be there for support

Devon- yay 25 weeks! I bet that hospital tour was a bit scary

scooby- only 3 months to go ..wow.... the time will buzz buy, i'd be buying all stuff now

afm- thanks for your support and encouragement. To be honest I feel in a bit of a limbo...I do feel things will be OK and am thinking positive, but being told things can go either way has sort of taken away some of the joy/buzz I was feeling...despite my best efforts to stay in that head space. I know what I know now...in some ways I feel a bit resentful (i know, gotta get over myself again) that things can't just have been all right on track this time, so I could feel a bit less anxiety, or always be waiting for another scan for reassurance. I know stacks of people don't have smooth pregnancies though...and I know that in this case I am telling myself all will be fine anyway....but still....those medical words of caution and 'things could go either way' rattle around in my head when I let my guard down.