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Possums - if you accepted that you have to let go, i'd be worried about your state of mind!!
take it easy, ask your OB as many questions as you can - hoping it's not all doom and gloom for you - come backc and let us know hun - i'll not be going too far from the computer if you need someone to talk to (my msn is in my profile!)
thanks BG...I'll come back and let you know after the appt
Possums - I am :pray: for you and that little one. I am sending you so many positive vibes and will be awaiting some good news from you.
Take care of yourself honey.
Janie xxx
Possums, thinking of you :hug: I am so sorry you have to go through all of this waiting and wondering. I hope you're OB appt has given you some answers or at least direction.
Possums, it sure has been one hell of a roller coaster ride for you lately. I hope you get good news this afternoon and things can level out to be some sort of normal. :hug:
BW
Possums - I have absolutely everything crossed for you and bubs. I hope that you get some good news at your OB appointment this afternoon. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.
Sending you huge :hug: and thinking of you.
Devon
xxxx
sorry, double post.
Possums :hug: heres hoping your bubs is a little fighter like mine
Nixion :hug: sweetie take care just think bubs will have a specail connection with your grandma.
Possum, thinking of you and hope that you got some answers this afternoon :hug:
Thanks so much for the supportive words and kind thoughts. It sure has been a rollercoaster lately. You help make it easier. Just having people to talk to who actually get it.
TG I so hope mine is a fighter and hangs on like your Baby Tigger has.
My OB has basically left me in this horrible limbo land of waiting and not knowing :wall:.... he said, the fact the levels haven't actually gone down is a good thing and the fact we had a heartbeat on Friday is also good. But, having said that, he'd much prefer to see me with levels in the normal range, which had risen at the rate they should, rather than almost levelling out. So he said we have to sit tight and have another scan Friday week when we should be able to see a lot more if things are going as they should be...a whole week and a half away!!!! It could really go either way at this stage apparently. :dunno: I will be second guessing every symptom I have. If I have any bleeding etc I am to call him.
I have cried and fretted and now I am trying to calm down and think positive for the little one's sake. I have acupuncture booked tomorrow too which will hopefully help.
I also can choose to have another BT in a week, before the scan to see how things are going....which he said will either give me hope, or cause me more worry, if they still aren't right. I think I'll prob have the blood test just to get some idea.
I must admit to feeling a bit sorry for myself today....just wishing we could have an easy run, like friends I know who fell pregnant straight away then had a dream run.... I'll get over myself ! I guess we'll all cherish our babies even more.
Thanks again.
Friday week! Oh Possums, I'm so sorry that your appointment hasn't really given you many answers. A week and a half is an age away. It does sound like your OB doesn't want you to give up hope though, he would be honest about it if he thought bubs had no chance.
It sounds like a good idea to me to have the BT, at least it's a week away rather than a week and a half, and surely that will give you a good idea of what's going on.
You are perfectly entitled to feel more than a bit sorry for yourself, this is torture waiting and not knowing if your baby is going to be OK. Hopefully the acupuncture will give you something to focus on and might help your baby to stick harder.
Huge hugs to you hun, I really wish that this could be easier for you.
Sending your little one a billion :stickyvibesboy: :stickyvibesgirl:
Devon
xxxx
ohh possums, i really hope your ok, couldnt he do a scan for you today? its so horrible having to wait :comfort:
I think i said in it in your other thread but my clinic stopped testing my HCG when i was 6 weeks as they said it becomes very erractic and will just stress me out more, once they saw my bubs wasnt ectopic again they pretty much left me alone. I really hope this is the case for you, but its still not fair to go through so much stress, espicially if that is the case. Take care and get loads a cuddles from DH and keep sending that little bub all the positive energy you can muster. Know that we are all here for you and sending you loads of positive cyber vibes.:grouphug:
possums - i'm so sorry you didn't get more definitive answers from your OB - next friday seems so damn far away! but, your OB doesn't seem to have given up hope, which means you shouldn't either. my clinic seems very much like scooby's in that, once HB was detected, they've stopped HCG testing. the ranges of HCG that are "normal" at this point are HUGE, and it's so hard if it's not following that "pattern" to not fret. i'm really feeling for you, and will pray for your bub to be healthy.
and as devon said - you're more than allowed to be feeling sorry for yourself at this time - when things aren't going to the pre-set "recipe" we all fret - so don't you ever feel guilty!! hold onto hope babe - and we'll send as many positive vibes as we can to you and your little bubba
Oh possums, I'm sorry you have had this worrying news. I have a feeling it is going to work out and the baby is going to be fine. I don't know why, but I know that you need to do everything you can right now to stay positive. I don't want to throw a hundred cliches at you, but the best thing you can do is to will that baby on with every cell in your body. I'll be thinking of you over the next few days. I pray to my granny to have words with the angels for you.
Possums, Briggsy's Girl, Tigger Linda, Butterfly Warrior - thanks for the healing words of wisdom. I'm surprised at myself. I knew my gran was in pain and I knew it was coming for months and yet I'm still so full of sadness. I guess it's because the day before she went back in to hospital for the last time was the day we told her that I was pregnant. When she found out that the cancer was back she told all the family (even though we asked her not to) because she wanted everyone to focus on some good news rather than that the cancer was back. The day before she died she woke up (wide awake) and grabbed my hand and said Thank you for a wonderful life. The funeral will be difficult. But thanks again to you for you support. Things will probably be easier once the funeral and the final goodbyes are said and done.
X
Oh Possums... what a hard time you are having at the moment :hug:. I'm so sorry that you have been left in this limbo. I agree with the girls - if your OB thought there was no hope he would have said so. Remember that Doctors always err on the side of caution... so they tend to tell you the worst case scenario. I know this week and a half are going to be terribly long and hard... we are here for you and all :pray: that your little one is just keeping you on your toes. Focus on the baby and look after yourself. I am sending all the positive vibes I can your way.
Nic - I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma. Knowing that it is going to happen doesn't stop the shock and the grief. How wonderful that she was able to know about your pregnancy before she passed. Take comfort in knowing the joy that would have given her. :hug:
To everyone else - I hope you are all well.
Janie xxx
Thanks everyone for the support, as usual it really does help.
I am trying to stay positive (even though sometimes my mind flicks to the worst case scenario and I feel like I am going to crumble...then I pull it back to the positive)...and willing our little one (nicknamed by DH 'Flicker' after we saw it flickering with the heartbeat on Friday...he says that will remind us to keep willing that heart to keep going) to hold on and be strong.
In some ways I wish I didn't know those levels...ignorance can be bliss for a while anyway...then we'd just be happy with the heartbeat we saw. Thanks for your comments about HCG levels sometimes going a bit crazy. I hope we've just had a little hiccup along the way.
It's hard, as you all know so well, when you want something so much.
Nixon- that sounds very touching- your final time with your gran. You are blessed to have had that relationship and had the chance for that final goodbye like that. Hang in there...cry and hopefully the funeral and saying formal goodbyes will also help with the healing.
Hi ladies..hope you've had a good day. I just got back from acupuncture which really helped me relax and connect with our little one...now known as Flicker... after DH's nickname has stuck (after the flickering heartbeat)... I sent so much energy to our baby...keep growing and be strong! Hanging on to the positive approach... and thinking i might see if i can bring that next scan forward a bit earlier...
it's good to hear you sounding so positive Possums - good luck hunny!
Possums, I'm glad to hear you are feeling better and more positive after your ap session. It certainly can't hurt to ask about possibly having an earlier scan. I would probably do the same as Friday week feels like an age away for you to have to wait. Good luck. :hug:
Nic, so sorry for the loss of your grandma. I have recently been through a similar loss which is still quite raw for me as well. Sending you lots of strength for the funeral. You are truly blessed to have had those final moments with her and to have had such a lovely relationship. Something for you to always treasure. Big :hug:
Possums so gald the AP went well and you are feeling connceted with Flicker
Megan don't you look like a sexy mumma in your new avvy ;)
lol thanks TL!! :) It's so strange to look at it and see a pg belly!! Just patiently waiting for the real one to pop out now!!
Thanks BG- hope u feel not too sick
and thanks Megan and TL too.... megan I like the new avy too
HI all and isn't there alot of us now, that's great!
Possums I love that you have called your bub 'flicker' and wish I could come up with an equally quirky name for my two. My MIL keeps calling them jack and Jill which I don't appreciate much. I have everything crossed that all will be okay for you and DH with Flicker. It sounds like your clinic does alot of BT'ing. I had two more after the initial BFP. It is because of the levels? I had a scare at around 6wks with x2 bleeds and everything turned out okay, we were very surprised to see two babies growing. I really hope all is ok.
Shannon: how many weeks are you at the moment? just wondering after you mentioned you are measuring at 38wks. I have a vested interest as I am wondering how big I will get. My friend sent me an email and probably didn't realise it would freak me out. It was of a lady having triplets and her tummy growing, then afterwards. It was pretty scary.
Nixon: sorry to hear your grandma passed away recently. Hope you are okay.
Hi to everyone else and hope you are all travelling along well.
AFM: I have my first OB appointment next week. I had a previous appointment at the hospital and they rammed breast feeding down my throat. I felt quite overwhelmed when I left. It was like they assumed I was not going to do it and were out to convince me into it. I am quite open to the option, however now feel like I will be a failure if it doesn't work for any reason. Otherwise MS is gradually starting to disapate, however I am tired alot of the time. I am lucky that I work casually and can take or leave the work depending on how I feel. They have been really flexible around my needs now and during IVF.
Take it easy,
Queenh
Hi Queenh- good to hear things are going well and hope that first OB appt goes well. Some clinics/nurses can be a bit forceful/militant...you just always do what's right for you...and I am sure we all hope to breastfeed, but if for some reason we can't- that will be OK. I guess you do have so many more little worries and wonders come into your mind with having two peas in a pod
Yes, it's the levels they are worried about with me... this was my 3rd (and to be final) BT after the initial BFP test. The levels were at 8600, then only went to 10,500...which wasn't much of a rise and got the IVF nurse and then my OB concerned...even though they also said things could turn around and be ok, especially as we did already see a heartbeat last Friday...they were just a bit worried by those results that it's a sign of a problem as the levels should have jumped a lot more, which of course sent me into a tailspin. It's just a waiting game now and I figure the best I can do is be positive, for me and for our little Flicker.
Hi Girls,
I'm off to Canberra this arvo for the funeral tomorrow. I'm feeling a lot better now. Thanks Janie, Megan, Queenh and any one else I have missed for your thoughts and wishes.
Queenh - Maybe all the girls could submit ideas for nicknames for your dynamic duo? Then if you see one you like you could start using it?
Possums - I'm feeling the positive vibes are back with you. I'm glad. I hope this week flies by for you.
Anyway - speak to you next week....have a great weekend.
X
take care on your trip Nic - and remember to look after YOU and the sneak, as well as everyone else!
AFM - when does the icky queasiness go away? the last couple of days have been horrific - i just want to be able to throw up to be honest, but i can't seem to let go - am feeling so awful! spent a good hour last night with my head over a bucket - and NOTHIN! not loving it - would be easier if i could just be sick i'm sure, but nope, i have a very well trained body that doesn't like to let go (damn that upchuck phobia!). im still eating, just feeling ordinary - had to take maxalon just so i could sleep last night..... i guess it gives me confidence that the Gremlin is growing nicely - and that we definitely chose the right name in the Gremlin! apart from that, i'm starting to get excited - going on what i've worked out, i'm now about 7 weeks - woo hoo! will be good to hear what the FS has to say about EDD next week seeing my dates and the U/S don't match by a few days!
BG, it started to subside for me around 10 weeks, and was pretty much gone completely by around 13-14 weeks. You kind of don't notice it disappearing, strangely enough!
I ran into an OB friend of mine on Monday... she had another friend with her who has just had a baby. Both of us had morning sickness from ridiculously early, and knowing you did as well, the current theory is that PCOS girls get morning sickness from very early on. Sadly, there's no theory about when it goes as the other friend was puking madly right up until the day she delivered (as did my aunt with PCOS). Could be good news there, could be bad news too!
Nixon, I hope the funeral is a cathartic time of farewell. :hug: Travel safe.
I'm still feeling half dead. Head cold, or it could be a sinus infection, or it could just be crazy allergies, or it could be a mix of all three. Fortunately my psycho baby has decided to be a bit less psycho today so I'm not feeling so bruised and battered. DH had his hand on the bump and was shocked at just how much movement there was last night, and was even more shocked when I told him that this was a quieter moment for Munchkin... I'm really starting to worry how I'm going to keep up with this kid!
But there's a possible theory... I'm doped up on polaramine, a pregnancy safe antihistamine which is fairly heavily sedating. Big family reunion with DH's family over the weekend and we discovered that there seems to be a trend with phenergan making the little boys in the family really, really wired. I'm starting to wonder if my psycho baby is from the drugs I'm taking so that I can breathe/see. DH is apparently one of the ones made wired by phenergan, so it's entirely possible.
Need more tissues...
BW
i hope i have MS that leaves EARLY! i know it's a comfort to know that it's there, but i was happy enough with low grade nausea i had first couple of weeks!
interesting theory about baby getting wired on antihistamine! add that to the sugar hit from GTT the other day, and you've got the potential for one hyperactive munchkin
Potential? No potential about it! Munchkin had me up from 1am to 4am Tuesday night (should I say Wednesday morning?) because he was so freaking active! He's a bit more sensible today so I'm really hoping it was just the GTT that did it.
Brings to mind all those people who suggest giving babies phenergan to make them sleep... I should offer to let them do it to Munchkin on the condition they look after him for the duration. Not that I ever would, of course.
BW
BW- hope you feel better soon
BG- and I hope your MS passes quickly..although at least you know Gremlin is doing well.... I kinda wish I had more symptoms , especially at the moment, as a sign of progress
Nixon- i hope the funeral goes well and you can say a special goodbye to your lovely gran
afm- trying to be positive still but very nervous in the background all the time...just wondering if it's all ok
waiting is hard
BG, my m/s has started to ease off this week. I still feel a bit dodgy late at night, but it no longer keeps me awake and feeling the need to reach for a bucket. It seems a bit unpredictable though. Last week I had two really good days followed by 2 shockers that were probably the worst I have felt. I am thinking positively though that I have come to end of the queasiness now. Hopefully you will notice yours calming down in a few weeks.
Nic, have a safe trip. Thinking of you. :hug:
BW, hope you start to feel better soon. Good to hear munchkin is behaving himself a bit today and giving you a bit of a break from being a punching bag! As much as I am looking forward to feeling movement....I'm scared at the same time!
Possums, keep trying to be positive. Is your scan still Friday?
update on our situation: Will now hopefully have a scan next monday or tuesday...not quite so long to wait. Very nervous at the thought of it. Trying to imagine all will be well and Flicker's heart will be flickering strong...but scared nevertheless since those HCG levels were lower than they should be. :crossfingers: :confused:
I just keep talking to my little one telling it to be strong :bellyrubs:
yay - only five more weeks of hell!!! hung up on poor DH so many times last night to grab for the bucket... he was getting a bit of a complex!
Possums - i only got hit really badly last couple of days, before that, i was feeling nothing for a while and starting to stress myself out really badly. i completely understand how much you're fretting at the moment, esp given your circumstances - i would be ringing to get the u/s moved forward...
ETA - you beat me!
Afternoon ladies only 1.5 days till the weekend is here...don't you just hate short weeks...they tend to drag...
Nic, I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your Gran, wishing you a safe trip tomorrow...
Megan, love the Avy...I can't wait to hit 12 weeks and change mine!!
Possum, glad to hear that you will be able to see flicker early next week.
Queenh, I actually think 'Two peas in a Pod' sounds very cute for your two little ones.
I'm even sure I've seen baby linen in BIG W and Target with peas on them.
BG, I hope the m/s fly's past for you and you are feeling better...
Everyone else I missed BIG :bellyrubs:
AFM, 4 sleeps till we can see our little June Bug. Am only a little dizzy from time to time and still have food food aversions to Chocolate and Coffee or anything sweet. Other than that not much else.
I spoke to a friend of mine who reassured me that she had Nothing during her pregnancy so as much as it must be reassuring to have symptoms I don't think we all get to experience it. But who knows I could wake up tomorrow feeling green.
One question I have is, is it normal to pass some small clear/milky CM this early? It only happened the once yesterday and nothing since??
Nicole, the mucus is completely normal. You'll get used to it... and liners will become your new best friend at some stage during the second trimester, or perhaps even earlier. The amount of discharge you normally have seems to increase rather amazingly in pregnancy.
BW
Nicole..lad to see I have reassured you with my lack of any pregnancy symptoms, hahaha! :D:lol:
Just to reassure any of you other lovely ladies who are worried they are not experiencing any of the usual signs of pregnancy. I am now 24 weeks and I think I have thrown up once and that was well into the second trimester. Other than that nothing, nada, zilch...not even a sore BB to talk about. I have been reassured by my OB that lack of symptoms do not spell disaster and every single women will experience different pgs signs and symptoms.
Hope you all have a lovely weekend
Belinda
Hello wow all so busy in here Nic I had CM that early and liners are my best friend now :)
AFM visit to GP for the first time in ages he was an OB to he is really happy the clot went and bubs is relsiant happy to leave me in the hands of the OB unless I want to see him. I know have a referal letter to get me through the rest of the PG with the OB
Belly starting to pop out more now too :bellyrubs:
TL- glad that went well, and it will be nice when you belly pops out a bit :D
BB73- I too like hearing some people dont have as many symptoms as others
Hi ladies.... I have just had a very stressful morning..which has turned out to be good!
When I woke I noticed when I went to the loo I had some brown spotting. Naturally, given our existing concerns over HCG leves I freaked right out and thought that this was it- I really was going to have a miscarriage. I really had a meltdown to be honest :redface: ..called out to DH and started sobbing and shaking :cry:... anyway, I rang my IVF nurse (she has been my main support person through IVF as our FS, EPU etc is all three hours away and my private OB is away today)- she was wonderful and actually arranged for a sonographer to come in straight away this morning (their ultrasound rooms are usually closed today) to do a scan for me....
When DH and I went in there i was soo nervous and terrified there would be no heartbeat, but of course hoping there would be.... and there was!!!! :leap: a beautiful beautiful heartbeat....now up from 106BPM to 146BPM, right where it should be... by my IVF dates I am 7 weeks, 5 days, and we measured at 7 weeks, 2 days, so pretty close to the mark and things looked fine.. :hooray::bellyrubs:
They could see some blood, which they think is old implantation blood only just coming away now.
I cannot express enough my relief and joy at seeing that our little baby Flicker was still flickering. I love this baby so much already.
Tiggerlinda- it seems mine is keeping me on my toes too, but is indeed a fighter.
My nurse did another BT, mainly to check my progesterone levels haven't dropped too low (they were lower last test than before, but still at a decent amount)....if they are even a bit low, she said I could use pessaries for a while as extra support. I almost didn't want another blood test because if the HCG levels still aren't text book I'd rather not know!
Phew......I can breathe again now. :D
DH says I now need to relax...it's so hard to, but I know he's right.
Hope you are all doing well.
So gald it went well I spotted brown yuk stuff right upto 13 weeks hun and they said that was normal just the body getting rid of the crap and as my GP siad to me yesterday just bubs pushing it out as they get bigger :hug: I am breathing too now