Pregnancy after LT TTC #18

[JBM]

possums: good luck to you, hopefully you make 35 weeks. good luck to you. x x

mindhigs: bummer for te sleeping thing. grrrrr. woohoo for baby shower !! they're so much fun. hope all goes well

oneday: good luck finding the answers from centrelink, they don't know themselves. lol.

kass: yeah i made my step kids call me by my name , lol. but my step daughter now calls me mum and i'm o.k with it now. when i was 25 it was a bit surreal. lol
as for the movement, i also think i have felt some little flutters, it is so exciting. good luck to you. also have next app friday, next fri that is, first antenatal at hospital. yipee for us

kaybee: hi to you, hope all is well

bugsmum: hi to you also, hope you're coping well

farmgirl: hi to you, hope you are well and all is going well with baby. good luck to you

afm: i have my first antenatal hospital next friday, yipee. my pilates is going well. my back is still sore but not as bad. also i will be able to start pregnastics at the hospital, it is exercise classes for pregnant ladies run by the physio dept and they're free. i did them all with the boys and it helps to strenghthen your pelvic floor and relax for labour. they're good.
i have a day off tody and made homemade lasagne, mmmmmmm it took me 1/2 hrs then 1 hr to cook it. but i made enough for 2 nights.
i was starting to feel better but had a bad night last night, feeling sick, it is so draining on my body.

i am 14 weeks today and i still don't think it has really sunk in yet, my tight clothes though maybe reminding me. ha ha ha

chat soon to all

[Kaybee]

Hi everyone,

Possums - did they say they will induce you early or that he is likely to come out early on his own? Hope you get through the next few weeks without too many worries. You are so close to the end now!

JBM - I LOVE the idea of pregnastics - we have nothing like that here. Your lasagne sounds yummy - it'a shame there's no dish big enough to cook a whole week's worth when it takes so long.

Mindhugs - don't put me next in line - not yet anyway. It might be Possums still! You are sounding very organised, girl. How can you be doing so much on so little sleep?

Oneday - your leave is approaching pretty fast too. How are you going with the public clinic these days?

Kass - how beautiful are those first little flutters. I was never sure if it was actually the baby either. My placenta is at the front, like yours, so it took a while before I was absolutely certain it was baby movements.

Dreamrise - one the working thing... you've got us all going on this one! I'm a primary teacher with a fantastic, flexible principal who encourages class sharing and part time work. After DS, I did one day a week for an AP who was at school, but off class - VERY easy job as she still dealt with any parent issues and was always there to fill me in on anything happening. Then, for the first half of this year, I worked 3 days and shared with another mum who did 2 days. It worked really really well too. It depends on who you are sharing with. We would leave copious notes and chat about the class over the phone - so that took up time. But, it was also good for working out how to best help kids with learning/behaviour problems, because we could put our heads together. The parents were very happy and kids progressed well. I would LOVE to have a job I can switch off from after work, but the pay and conditions are so good AND I would hate to be starting from scratch when my kids go to school.

And, the tiny bit I can offer on the centrelink stuff is that you have to choose either the baby bonus (which now only comes in installments) or the paid parental leave. I don't know anything about the tax side of things though

Hi to everyone else. Sorry have to hurry - DS is going nuts!

AFM - I now have a lovely month to enjoy with DS. I am starting to get things together. DH is finally painting bub's room and cot, etc. I have NO idea what to pack in a hospital bag - it has been so long. Does anyone else have a good list? I feel like I should be preparing for the 'grand opening' day too, but just don't want to think about it!

Gotta go, xoxo

[dreamrise659]

Hi Kaybee,

Dreamrise - one the working thing... you've got us all going on this one! I'm a primary teacher with a fantastic, flexible principal who encourages class sharing and part time work. After DS, I did one day a week for an AP who was at school, but off class - VERY easy job as she still dealt with any parent issues and was always there to fill me in on anything happening. Then, for the first half of this year, I worked 3 days and shared with another mum who did 2 days. It worked really really well too. It depends on who you are sharing with. We would leave copious notes and chat about the class over the phone - so that took up time. But, it was also good for working out how to best help kids with learning/behaviour problems, because we could put our heads together. The parents were very happy and kids progressed well. I would LOVE to have a job I can switch off from after work, but the pay and conditions are so good AND I would hate to be starting from scratch when my kids go to school.

And, the tiny bit I can offer on the centrelink stuff is that you have to choose either the baby bonus (which now only comes in installments) or the paid parental leave. I don't know anything about the tax side of things though

That is fantastic that you have such an enlightened principal. If only I could find a school with a principal like that. I saw how well my daughter thrived with the teachers who were job sharing and I know in other jobs I have found job-sharing has worked well for me so I'd love to be in the position of being able to return to teaching part-time.

I know that the baby bonus and paid parental leave are only one or the other and baby bonus is approx $5000 tax free and yes it has been paid in installments for a few years now. The paid parental leave is about $10,000 all up but it is taxed. If it is just taxed then that would be around $8000 for me (20% tax) however if it is also counted as income for centrelink purposes in terms of reducing any other benefits you might be entitled to (and I can't see why it wouldn't be) then that means it becomes the equivalent of $4,800 after loss of benefits (40% reduction to single parents pension) and tax (20%). And you can't return to paid work for 18 weeks or you lose it. So I just wish someone from centrelink could explain properly how it will work so I know which to apply for.
I'm only 7 and a half weeks from my due date now and apparently you are advised to put your paperwork in when you have around 6 weeks to go if you want to get it ASAP after the birth.

Anyway I went to melbourne for the last couple of days and had a really nice heart-to-heart with a good friend. I got to tell her how much I appreciate her friendship and she told me how much she cared about me. It was just what I needed to hear though it also made me sad because I wish she lived closer.

Lori
DD - 14 in Qld with her grandparents
Bub due 28th Aug.

[oneday86]

hey ladies mum came over so didnt get a chance to ring, but your probably right i wont get anywhere! Yeah it is deffinetly just one but i was told the mat leave works out to be $10,000 where as the baby bonus is only $5000 you have to pay tax on the mat leave but you would still come out better off.

Kaybee iv got my 3rd midwifes appointment on tuesday but the last one went well i saw the DR just so she could make sure all my results were ok due to having IVF (they said this is normal procedure at that hospital) but the DR said everyhting looks fine so i will just be seeing the midwifes from now on. I get excited about going we also start birthing classes at the end of the month

Possums sorry things didn't go as well as you had hoped but your little man will be ok, fingers crossed he stays put for a few more weeks xxx

I cant wait for work to be over, 11 more weeks!!!! just so many dramas at work, im over it! and just cant wait to be at home with our bub!

Isn't it amazing laying on your back watching your belly moving around as bub moves, i just love it!

[kass]

Oneday - glad everything is going well with you. Not too much longer and work will be over

DR - I haven't looked into it all yet, but it seems that the $10,000 would be the better option, unless you wanted to go back to work before the 18 weeks. Even if you did, would you lose it all or just the weeks you worked? Even though it's taxed, you'll have deductions you can claim. But like I say, I haven't looked into it - I should probably just keep quiet! Glad you had a good time in Melbourne, sounds like a good friend.

Kaybee - sounds like you're getting organised, not long to go

JBM - pregnastics sounds great! Wish my hospy offered something like that. Good luck with your appointment

Possums - Hope your little man stays put happily for the next few weeks, fx!

Mindhugs - I'm finding the amount of stuff a bit overwhelming too! Not that I've started shopping yet, still browsing

afm - Had first antenatal at the hospital yesterday. Went really well, measuring spot on and passed all my tests Very reassuring to hear the heartbeat again (along with a lot of kicking!)

Have a great weekend everyone!

[dreamrise659]

DR - I haven't looked into it all yet, but it seems that the $10,000 would be the better option, unless you wanted to go back to work before the 18 weeks. Even if you did, would you lose it all or just the weeks you worked? Even though it's taxed, you'll have deductions you can claim. But like I say, I haven't looked into it - I should probably just keep quiet! Glad you had a good time in Melbourne, sounds like a good friend.

Hi everyone,

I'm back in Melbourne tonight - staying with my friend as I was feeling pretty lonely and sad earlier today so rang to see if I could come for another visit.

Anyway in terms of the paid parental leave my issue is still with how it will count as if it is only taxed then that is fine (20% tax for me) but if it counts as income in terms of centrelink benefits then it ends up being less than the baby bonus because I lose 40% out of my single parent pension for every dollar of declarable income (because I am already over the $100 pf reduction free amount). So in effect it is like paying 50% tax. (thus the paid parental leave ends up being less money in my pocket then the baby bonus). This scheme started in Jan this year and it's like centrelink workers still dont' know how it is meant to work - hopeless!

If you go back to work before the 18 weeks then you just lose whatever you haven't already recieved but this counts even if you just do one day casual work at 10 weeks (then you would miss out on 8 weeks of parental leave). So need to make the decision to definately not start work before the 18 weeks is up if you are planning on applying for the paid parental leave.

I wanted to use this money to help pay towards my IVF loan. Atleast on the bright side my mum informed me that I only owe $3000 towards the IVF (and still $15,000 towards my car). So hopefully one way or another (through the baby bonus or paid parental leave) I will pay off the rest of the IVF loan by the time that money stops. All up it cost me around $15,000 out of pocket for IVF. I know that is cheap compared to alot of couples but it's hard when you are trying to pay it off as a single mum.... thank god my parents gave me the loan interest free.

My friend is engrossed in watching the footy at the moment and I am just so not interested in footy! But I guess I better go and try to seem interested or atleast social! :-)

Lori
DD - 14 (in Qld with her grandparents - spoke to her tonight and she seems to be having fun)
Bub due 28th Aug

[kass]

DR - I've had a look at the website and I can't work it out! It looks like you can do up to 10 casual days if you have a prior arrangement with your employer before you get cut off, if that helps at all. Have you looked on the ato site for more info about tax? They probably have an estimation calculator you could compare the two options with. Hope you get some answers!

[dreamrise659]

Hi everyone,

I finally found some understandable information on the Centrelink website regarding my predictament re: whether paid parental leave counts as declarable income. It has answers to other questions too which may be of interest to you.
Here is the link: Paid Parental Leave Scheme - Questions and answers for working parents

"Will Parental Leave Pay count as income for family assistance payments?
Parental Leave Pay will count as income for Family Tax Benefit and other family assistance payments, but not for income support payments. You should include any Parental Leave Pay you expect to receive in your adjusted taxable income estimate for Family Tax Benefit purposes."

Parenting Payment (Single) is counted as an income support payment so my understanding now is that it won't be effected. However I still don't understand why I wouldn't be eligible for Family Tax Benefit part B (which I currently get).

It states:
"Can I receive Family Tax Benefit Part B as well as Parental Leave Pay?
You and/or your partner cannot receive Family Tax Benefit Part B during your Paid Parental Leave period. Family Tax Benefit Part B may be paid after the end of your Paid Parental Leave period, if you are eligible."

I'm not sure if that means you don't get it for the period of parental leave or that you can claim it afterwards and have it back paid for that period. Currently I get Family Tax Benefit part B as we are a single income family (well there is only one adult) so not sure why I can't get it just because my income is coming from the paid parental leave rather than a job or parenting payment? Might need to look into that bit.

It is certainly not straight forward at all. It seems like they have introduced it to make it seem like they are trying to help mothers but at the end of the day it's not really going to cost them much more than what they were already paying in baby bonus and family tax benefits.

Lori
DD - 14
Bub due 28th Aug

[grub17]

hi girls! cant help you with the mat leave stuff as it came in between my babies! doh!

Hope you are all cruising along well.

Just wanted to send a special hug to possums. HOpe your little man stays there and happy and growing for a bit longer. rest up love. and i'm thinking of you.

my best advice for buying baby stuff is buy the minimum and buy 2nd hand. you can always go shopping once bubs arrives and you'll soon discover half the stuff you bought you won't use lol.

the things i'm so glad we spent $$ on was a hug-a-bub, which i used all the time and am using again now; my new wonderful jazy double pram; and my new breastfeeding chair. we've upgraded our folding change table to a timber one (2ndhand) and it's much better as bub grows. so Immy gets the folding one now, Ash gets the wooden one. And the terry towel nappies and covers. A couple of really good, well fitting maternity bras with no padding in the boob (easier to pull down).

but for DS the things we bought which we didn't need were: baby bath (he outgrew it quickly and it hurt my back to bend to it even on the kitchen table. easier to shower with them); bouncer/rocker (never used it with ds past a few weeks old); a variety of mcns which never really fitted ds properly or as well as the terry towel. hopefully DD fills them out a bit better.

we never bought a breastfeeding pillow, just use one from our bed or a steriliser (used the kettle or a pot on the stove).

That's my two bob.

Oh and Immy is growing so well. she was back to birth weight by day 4! (she's a porker) and had put on more than 200g on top of that at 1 week old! can't believe she's 9days old already!!!

I'm intending on writing my BA soon, just haven't got there yet. Apart from that, DH and I are just enjoying our two beautiful children. we are truly so blessed.

hugs to you all oxox

[dreamrise659]

Hi everyone,

Grub, Good to hear from you and glad everything is going along so well. Great that Immy has put on weight so quickly.

Interesting that Grub said she didn't use the rocker / bouncer with her son much as I used it quite a bit with my daughter and my ex used it with her son. We found it particularly handy if we were going visiting for a few hours and we could put the baby in it and know we didn't have to worry about them rolling around on the floor (and what potential hazards our friends might have in their house). We bought it second hand so only cost $10 and I reckon compared to other things we probably easily got $50 worth of use from it.

I also used the baby bath alot for the first few months as I found it too akward to try to get into a shower whilst holding my baby... might be different if you had a partner who could pass the baby through to you. I just used the plastic baby bath on the kitchen bench and got it second hand for only $5 too so definately worth the cost to me. Later on I used one of those bath seats in the normal bath (I think from around 5 months maybe?)

I also didn't get a breastfeeding pillow (just used one off the bed), however I did use a microwave sterlizer. I just found it so much easier and it only cost $20 and was really quick and easy to use - if I had to boil water on the stove to sterlize it would probably take atleast 10 mins in total whereas in the microwave I think it only took something like 3 minutes.

Lori - heading home from melb this afternoon
DD - 14 (still in Qld for another 5 days)
Bub due in 49 days!

[JBM]

dreamrise: sounds like you got things sorted for baby, yeah i used rocker all the time, baby bath only with number one , no BF pillow or sterliliser. counting down til baby arrives for you. x good luck. thanks for the info on centrelink, it is very confusing. and also i am self employed so makes it harder ?!

kass:hows it all going for you. hope all is well and your baby is growing heaps. x glad it went well at your app and you got to hear baby again, i just love to hear this fast little heartbeat. x x

grub: thanks for dropping in on us poor pregnant ladies. wishing we were you , with baby on outside . fully grown that is. lol yeah for 2nd hand as it really can add up sometimes and save new stuff for something you really want. yeah for Immy growing so well. yipee. so glad all is well with you. thanks again for sharing with us. x x for you and bub and x for your son too. x o for you

oneday: almost counting down single figures for you. so exciting. good luck to you.

kaybee: hi to you. good luck with packing, may get some ideas from preg mags or online with what to pack, i can't remember either. lol it has been a while for me too. lol. good luck with it and DH painting etc. who know who will be next. either way you're having a baby soon.

possums: hope all is going well with you.

farmgirl: hi to you too, hope all is oging well for you.



AFM: well i have another pilates on wed, my 2nd last of 5 weeks. also first antenatal on friday so should be good. yeah i loved the pregnastics thing and the physio dept also offer mother and baby classes from 6 weeks after baby til 6 months, free too . i loved them and they really help get back into shape and the physios are really helpfull too. yeah we are lucky to have it.
i still getting little back pain and sometimes still feeling sick of a night. yukky but not throwing up at all, sometimes i wish i was as it 'd prob be better than just feeling sick for hours.
i think i have felt some little flutters still sometimes it feels really a lot like movements but is it too early yet ?
anyway DH says it is gas ??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! men so annoying ! lol

chat soon to all

[kass]

JBM - hope it's movements you're feeling - apparently you feel them sooner with each pregnancy (not that I'd know from experience ) I'm still not sure whether I can feel movements or not.

DR and Grub - Thanks for that - it's so hard to know what is and isn't good to buy!

Grub - Hooray for Immy going so well

afm - I still don't have a visible belly, but I'm starting to notice a weight shift when I lie on my side - it's very odd! Guess it can't be too much longer until I start to expand! Been browsing the baby shops with DH. So far I like all of the most expensive stuff. Oh dear. If we knew we would be able to have more than one, maybe I could justify it. Since that isn't the case, I think I'd better get my tight-a** pants on!

[airline]

grub...don't know if you remember me...but congratulations on the birth of Immy!! I haven't been onto bb for sooooo long..my wee man is now 3 1/2 months old! I saw a 12 day bub today, and couldn't believe he used to be that small! take care,
and belly rubs to all you lovely ladies in waiting x
ps. oooh it was one year ago today that my poppet was 'popped' inside me! yeh!!! dreams can come true. xx

[Kaybee]

Hello ladies,

Just popping in briefly before bed. I am sooooooo tired (and grumpy!) but am avoiding bed because I just can't sleep. I hate it. Can't get comfy, can't stay asleep, can't stop peeing, can't stop thinking. Then spend the day exhausted and no fun to be around. I still love being pregnant though.

Ah well, here goes, goodnight xo

[Possums]

hi everyone....just a quick update... it's a bit of a waiting game for us now, with another scan next week to check on things. I had a clinic appt today and the Ob said he thinks 36 weeks is a realistic goal (I would then be induced) but of course, depending on the scan results it could be sooner than that.
So DH and I are getting all things organised just in case!

It's been a lot to take in. I had hoped that things would just progress well as they had been and we would love a totally natural birth, without an induction (and therefore a higher risk of a c-section)...but that isn't going to happen so I need to adjust to this new set of circumstances now. Working on getting into a better headspace with it all, and remembering that at the end of the day we just want a healthy baby. I do of course also have concerns about how our baby will be if he arrives early, his lungs, strength, ability to suck, regulate his temp etc.... they tell me he will be a skinny little one, so might have a few issues, but given we are now at 33 weeks, we are past the most dangerous period, which is great news! Today's Ob said it was great that we have come this far. I hit him with so many questions too! and DH was there which was great.

It certainly is feeling very real and we both can't wait to meet our precious little boy now!

sending belly rubs to you all

[kass]

Possums - sounds very positive if they've extended you from 35 to 36 weeks Hope the scan goes well next week!

[dreamrise659]

Hi Possums,

Good luck with it all. I was told the last 4 weeks not much development actually takes place (it's more a case of bubs just putting on some extra weight) so his lungs etc should be okay if you can make it to 36 weeks.

I wouldn't be too concerned about being induced. I was induced with my daughter and it turned out fine (no c-section). The only issue was that the contractions were so strong that I had to be hooked up to a fetal heart monitor to ensure her heartbeat returned to normal after each contraction. The one good thing about it was that it was only 4 hours of labour and then I had my little girl.

a friend of a friend lost her baby around 37 weeks. She had gone into early labour around 33 weeks I think and they stopped it with drugs but then kept her in hospital on total bed rest. They finally agreed to do a C-section at 37 weeks... and the day before the c-section was to be performed the babies heart just stopped. I was so sad when I heard the story because if they'd just done it that bit earlier it would have been okay. So atleast even if your son comes early and not in the way you had planned... as you said the main thing will be just to have a healthy little boy in your arms.

Lori
DD - 14 (home tomorrow after 9 days away with her grandparents and cousins in Qld)
bub due 28th Aug

[grub17]

just want 2 send belly rubs 2 all, with a special 1 for possums oxo

am child balabcing atm but all is well with immy and me