I really hope you don't feel angry that I am replying because I have no experience in this myself. I thought I might be some comfort to you by sharing some of my experience from my years as a daycare teacher.
Over the many years I've been working with new mums (I have had babies as young as 8 weeks in my care), there have been quite a few times when the mums have had to wean before they felt they were ready due to sudden changes in work hours, work requirements or workplace. In my observation, although the mums found it understandably very upsetting and disappointing; the babies all went on to thrive as well as they would have with continued breastfeeding. I couldn't ascertain any difference in the bonding between the mum and bub nor could I see any difference in the bub's health or happiness. (In one case the baby even started sleeping better and seemed much less grizzley.)
Most of them found ways to continue that loving skin to skin connection. A few started to give bottle feeds with their shirts off, holding the baby like they were going to breast feed, so the baby was still leant towards them cradled in their arms. Although they said it is not the same, the baby is tilted a bit more towards the bottle, they felt that it helped them still feel connected. A couple of the mums started to (carefully) have baths with their babies, holding them close on to their chest as they lay in the warm water with the babies lower half submerged (this may take a big older style bath or be just for summer, and not all babies would like this!).
I'm sorry I can't help with scientific facts or with first hand experience, I hope that you come up with a way to feel okay about the decisions you are going to make, you sound like a very loving mum and your children will feel that love if they are drinking from you or from a bottle. Apologies if I am speaking out of turn, I know that you really wanted other mums' advice here.
Thank you so much for your reply, Rae, I really appreciate it. Your experience is definitely valuable, thanks for sharing it. It's heartening to hear of other women weaning early and still maintaining that connection, I guess that's what I'm worried DS and I will lose. DS is a cuddly baby, and he likes having baths with me, which I started doing recently. I do feel that he's not so much of a boob addict as DS1 was, so maybe it would be OK. Thanks again for a very helpful reply.
My absolute pleasure Honeybee. I fully support breastfeeding and I acknowledge that it is the best option for babies, particularly before they are on solids; but I also think that sometimes there is a tendency to equate breastfeeding with so much more than just nutrition, and mums can feel pressured by all sorts of people and places. Infant formula is not breast milk, but these days it is a pretty good substitute. It also frees up the mum to eat a more varied diet herself, like chilli, onions and garlic. In my experience it can also help with reflux and settling in some babies.
The advice I'd give you if you decide to go down this road is, to try a few different brands if your baby doesn't like the first one, to try lots of different bottle teats and flows to see which works best for him, to start him on a bottle as soon as possible if you haven't been expressing for bottle feeds yet (after 4 months they can get a bit hesitant with the bottle but they have all come round with time and loving patience in my experience), and to be mindful of allergies or intolerances (you can get goat milk formula now for example) and to offer water as well as formula because bottle feeding can sometimes cause a bit of constipation at first.
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