sorry for your loss lemonade.
have you looked at other options available to you rather them limiting your self to an OB?
It is really important to know what kind of birth you want and the type of relationship you want from your care provider, then look for that care provider.

continuity of care is VERY important to women in pregnancy and labour and usually only available from midwives as OBs do not sit and hold your hand while you are labouring.