I wanted this pregnancy so badly and know I don't feel happy

[mummytogirls]

I was just wondering how other pregnant mums are feeling? I am just over 6 weeks and feeling pretty flat. Part of me is happy the other part angry that I have to go through it all again and the the other part really scared I might go through a loss all over again.

I am hoping that as the pregnancy progresses that you feel better. I joined an online buddy group but pulled out today as I think it was making things worse. I was getting cross thinking why are all these girls excited and I am not ?? Why are they planning so far ahead and only looking forward to when 12 weeks is up?? As far as I am concerned the whole 40 weeks is scary. I wish I could be so innocent like them and not know so many stories. I feel really guilty I wanted this pregnancy so badly and know I don't feel happy. i think I was thinking that it would make everything better.

Wanting to know does it get better are the pregnancy progress??

[Rach75]

right there with you sweetie

with jack once 20 weeks hit I thought maybe I could relax nope then unfortuantly I spent all bar 2 weeks from 27 weeks till 37 weeks in and out of hospitals, in rocky (2hrs away) brisbane (9hrs) and then finaly flown to Townsville (11hrs away) for the birth

so no way am I going to learn how to relax until this kid is out of me, I feel guilty that I really am not enjoying being pg I love the thought of being pg anf having another baby but so scared it will all be taken away from me

so

[pash]

Hiya mummytogirls, I also found the bits of the pregnancy that I had done loads of times before really hard to enjoy. I couldn't get excited, or even think about the fact that I was pg. Couldn't join a belly buddy group, post on PAML thread or even in my blog. I just had to remove myself from everything. But as we got to a part of the pg that we'd never been through before, it got more exciting and I felt like I had passed my milestones. Maybe you will feel like that at 20 weeks?

[NaeNae]

I know how you feel hun, it is very difficult.

For me personally, I found joining my BB due date group and being in with women who were excited about their pregnancies very helpful. Thats not to say that I don't freak out over every little twitch and niggle but I found their excitment was just what I need to help me get through this time of anxiety.

I am not as excited as I might have been had we not had problems, but then I feel like I am ripping off my babies experience with me if I am not "there" iykwim.

I cannot fully relax into this pregnancy until we reach the third trimester however I really do enjoy feeling this baby moving, I really enjoy the symptoms of pregnancy like heartburn and being up all night peeing because this time is just as important to me. I appreciate everything, every aspect of this pregnancy because I do not know what will happen, I am trying hard to embrace every minute I have with this baby because I have no idea how long we will have together.

I know this has been a very "me" post but I just want you to know that while it is very difficult to go through a pregnancy after a loss or multiple losses, every moment you have with your current pregnancy is special and should be celebrated no matter how hard.

What you are feeling is very normal, but you should try to shift the focus away from "what if" and hope for the best possible out come.

Its taken me 19 weeks to realise this and I feel I have wasted half my pregnancy by fearing it.

Best wishes hun for a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Luv Nae x

[Where there's hope]

I know how you feel hun, it is very difficult.

For me personally, I found joining my BB due date group and being in with women who were excited about their pregnancies very helpful. Thats not to say that I don't freak out over every little twitch and niggle but I found their excitment was just what I need to help me get through this time of anxiety.

I am not as excited as I might have been had we not had problems, but then I feel like I am ripping off my babies experience with me if I am not "there" iykwim.

I cannot fully relax into this pregnancy until we reach the third trimester however I really do enjoy feeling this baby moving, I really enjoy the symptoms of pregnancy like heartburn and being up all night peeing because this time is just as important to me. I appreciate everything, every aspect of this pregnancy because I do not know what will happen, I am trying hard to embrace every minute I have with this baby because I have no idea how long we will have together.

I know this has been a very "me" post but I just want you to know that while it is very difficult to go through a pregnancy after a loss or multiple losses, every moment you have with your current pregnancy is special and should be celebrated no matter how hard.

What you are feeling is very normal, but you should try to shift the focus away from "what if" and hope for the best possible out come.

Its taken me 19 weeks to realise this and I feel I have wasted half my pregnancy by fearing it.

Best wishes hun for a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Luv Nae x

Nae

I have just read your above reply and I would like to THANK you for what you have written . These words have truly reached me. I can relate to the fear you have suffered during your PG and commend you on your newly adopted frame of mind. I am going to try and take a page out of your book and do the same

WTH x

[mummytogirls]

Just wanted to say thaks to everyone for your support.

NaeNae I will give it a go. It is true you don't know how long you have anyone for. So making he most of your time together is a great suggestion

Rach75 i hope you are doing ok. and you and bubba are keeping well. I am thinking of you

Pash thanks. I am feeling more confident this week that the 20 week scan will go well. In my last pregancy I was already having bleeing by know.

xx
Rachel