I wanted this pregnancy so badly and know I don't feel happy

[pash]

Hiya mummytogirls, I also found the bits of the pregnancy that I had done loads of times before really hard to enjoy. I couldn't get excited, or even think about the fact that I was pg. Couldn't join a belly buddy group, post on PAML thread or even in my blog. I just had to remove myself from everything. But as we got to a part of the pg that we'd never been through before, it got more exciting and I felt like I had passed my milestones. Maybe you will feel like that at 20 weeks?

[NaeNae]

I know how you feel hun, it is very difficult.

For me personally, I found joining my BB due date group and being in with women who were excited about their pregnancies very helpful. Thats not to say that I don't freak out over every little twitch and niggle but I found their excitment was just what I need to help me get through this time of anxiety.

I am not as excited as I might have been had we not had problems, but then I feel like I am ripping off my babies experience with me if I am not "there" iykwim.

I cannot fully relax into this pregnancy until we reach the third trimester however I really do enjoy feeling this baby moving, I really enjoy the symptoms of pregnancy like heartburn and being up all night peeing because this time is just as important to me. I appreciate everything, every aspect of this pregnancy because I do not know what will happen, I am trying hard to embrace every minute I have with this baby because I have no idea how long we will have together.

I know this has been a very "me" post but I just want you to know that while it is very difficult to go through a pregnancy after a loss or multiple losses, every moment you have with your current pregnancy is special and should be celebrated no matter how hard.

What you are feeling is very normal, but you should try to shift the focus away from "what if" and hope for the best possible out come.

Its taken me 19 weeks to realise this and I feel I have wasted half my pregnancy by fearing it.

Best wishes hun for a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Luv Nae x

[Where there's hope]

I know how you feel hun, it is very difficult.

For me personally, I found joining my BB due date group and being in with women who were excited about their pregnancies very helpful. Thats not to say that I don't freak out over every little twitch and niggle but I found their excitment was just what I need to help me get through this time of anxiety.

I am not as excited as I might have been had we not had problems, but then I feel like I am ripping off my babies experience with me if I am not "there" iykwim.

I cannot fully relax into this pregnancy until we reach the third trimester however I really do enjoy feeling this baby moving, I really enjoy the symptoms of pregnancy like heartburn and being up all night peeing because this time is just as important to me. I appreciate everything, every aspect of this pregnancy because I do not know what will happen, I am trying hard to embrace every minute I have with this baby because I have no idea how long we will have together.

I know this has been a very "me" post but I just want you to know that while it is very difficult to go through a pregnancy after a loss or multiple losses, every moment you have with your current pregnancy is special and should be celebrated no matter how hard.

What you are feeling is very normal, but you should try to shift the focus away from "what if" and hope for the best possible out come.

Its taken me 19 weeks to realise this and I feel I have wasted half my pregnancy by fearing it.

Best wishes hun for a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Luv Nae x

Nae

I have just read your above reply and I would like to THANK you for what you have written . These words have truly reached me. I can relate to the fear you have suffered during your PG and commend you on your newly adopted frame of mind. I am going to try and take a page out of your book and do the same

WTH x

[mummytogirls]

Just wanted to say thaks to everyone for your support.

NaeNae I will give it a go. It is true you don't know how long you have anyone for. So making he most of your time together is a great suggestion

Rach75 i hope you are doing ok. and you and bubba are keeping well. I am thinking of you

Pash thanks. I am feeling more confident this week that the 20 week scan will go well. In my last pregancy I was already having bleeing by know.

xx
Rachel

[MummaSue]

I am so glad that I just found this thread, for some reason I didn't even consider visiting the pregnancy after miscarriage thread! I am 5w3d pregnant after my first IVF cycle. I had a miscarriage in October last year from a freak natural pregnancy.

What NaeNae (and all of you in fact) has said has been very profound for me. I am absolutely terrified of another miscarriage and am spending my time between my desk at work and the bathroom - and at home, spend a lot of time in the bathroom checking. I'm not enjoying myself at all and this is NOT how I imagined my pregnancy to be. Goodness, my IVF worked first time - I should be over the MOON!

I'm going to try and let go of that fear and enjoy this pregnancy.
Thanks so much girls, reading this has really helped me a lot.

Hugs to all.
Sue xxx

[mummytogirls]

Dear Sue

I just wanted to let you know as the my pregnancy got further along I have started to feel more positive. I think it was around the 10 week stage that I felt I could be a little more excited. I am still looking forward to the big scan at 20 weeks. I think I really be excited then. I think there are lots of mums that feel the same as you. My cousin is pregnant with her first and worried every day.

Wishing you so much luck and happiness.
and crossing my fingers for you

Rachel