Hugs hun. I have the same anxieties. I'm not going to be relaxing until I can feel the baby move regularly,definately and strongly! If it's any consolation I have had some spotting this time too, at about 8ish weeks. Somone told me it's likely to just be that you period is due at those times and it's just the hormones in your body trying to do what they're supposed to when your not pg. I know it doesn't help much though.
And if you were to have an u/s now, no you wouldn't see much and you most likely couldn't be told anything conclusive. If you want to know for sure, hcg monitoring would be the way to go this early on. Or, you will need to wait til you about 7ish weeks to be able to see a heart beat.