Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss #9

**Mrs O'M** · March 19th, 2014, 05:06 PM

Congratulations Kitty Kat, I am still plodding along, another 6 days until my 12 week scan and I am in a mild panic most days thinking about it.

I hope this one turns out to be a sticky one for you xx

**myturn** · March 19th, 2014, 07:48 PM

Contras kittykat! So happy for you. It's really hard at the beginning as you just feel so worried. I'll be crossing everything that this ones a sticky one. So sorry you've had a rough journey so far. I'm 25 weeks with my first after 4years TTC,1 miscarriage and 1 chemical pregnancy. It was my 9th IVF Embryo transfer. It's hard. But every milestone helps. Being sick also makes it challenging and difficult as well. look after yourself and take each day at a time. Xox

**Marley&Me** · March 27th, 2014, 08:47 AM

**Just stalking to check myturns progress

July babies rock! What is your EDD?**

**myturn** · March 28th, 2014, 05:36 PM

Awww shucks Tasha

I'm 26 weeks and 3 days today. Can't believe it really. Feeling much more relaxed and confident - but always a deep worry just sitting there that something will go wrong.

STILL check to make sure I'm not bleeding - and I had a MMC last time so I never even had that worry. Yet it still sits there.

Starting to worry that I'm not going to be "good" at this - the mum thing. What if i hate it? If I think too much there are a million what ifs.

I barely have anything for the baby. Must get onto that. But we only moved house two weeks ago and are still trying to finish the other place to sell it.

**Mumma T** · March 28th, 2014, 05:57 PM

Myturn, you will do great at the mum gig and as much as there is hard stuff there is awesome stuff that makes all the hard worth it tenfold.

Things like that first cuddle in the morning when my almost 2 year old just sinks into me, that alone is awesome. You can't help but love the mum gig. I do remember having the same thoughts. I was also scared he wouldn't like me

**myturn** · April 5th, 2014, 05:08 PM

Thanks mumma t

Sometimes things just feel so unreal.

I realised today that I am scared of buying anything big. We have nothing practical for the baby yet. I'm nearly 28 weeks, and we have no car seat, no cot, no pram... Just a few odds and ends... A couple of nappies and suits and that's it.

I'm worried about making the 'wrong' choice (and tbh, that's not all about having had a miscarriage - partly about dad issues and partly LTTTC as well.... ) and everything is starting to feel so hard. I don't feel like I ever has that 2nd trimester love being pregnant this is great kinda feeling and glow. I'm achey and tired and sore and overwhelmed already... And the hard part is still coming.

**Mumma T** · April 5th, 2014, 05:22 PM

Just remember the kids don't know if it's stylish or not, if it's the in colour. Go with what ever seems most practical to you and you can't go wrong. There will be something you will get that makes you think you should have got a different kind but that can't be helped. I went through 2 highchairs before I ended up buying the ikea $30 one which I love. This baby will be lucky to have anything new as I need very little except a few clothes if it's a girl

**myturn** · April 6th, 2014, 02:21 AM

Yeah, practical is the main issue (although something that looks cool is secondary, I do want it to be useful!) - it's just cause I don't know what I'll be doing and how everything will work for me, I'm not sure what practical IS for me... And I feel a bit stoopid, but I am putting to much pressure on myself to "get it right"

Anyhoo.... Finishing up the unit to sell in the next week or so - finally - that will be good to get off the list, then DH and I can go shopping and make this place happen!

**Joeve** · April 6th, 2014, 02:49 AM

Myturn. I was the same. I couldn't decide on anything, I was scared to buy stuff etc.
Everyone is different I guess but I remember reading a thread in here somewhere about people's favorite must haves. It helped me narrow down to the essentials.
There is so much stuff you think you need and then never use!
Once you start gathering things for your nest you'll get on a roll

**Andie78** · April 6th, 2014, 08:30 AM

Yep, I was scared to buy stuff too. Didn't have anything big (pram, cot etc) until after 28 weeks too. I figured it might be ok after 28 weeks bc if the baby was born prem it would have a good chance if survival. It is stressful buying the 'stuff', but really all they need is a place to sleep, some clothes & you. Anything else can be dealt with later.

I agree with joeve (again!), when you start buying, you get in to it! I bought too much stuff, but enjoyed the process of nesting & looking back it was a good way to realise that - yes - there is a baby on the way. You will actually have a real, live baby. The amount of times I reorganised his clothes drawers... I may have had little boxes with tags on for 00000's, 0000's, 000's etc... unecessary of course, but the way I chose to prepare. You'll find your own 'thing' once you start. The first big purchase is fun/daunting, but then it's like 'what can I buy next?!'. : )

**myturn** · April 6th, 2014, 08:49 AM

Did you actually use 00000s andie?? I've only bought a few 0000s and 000s.

Did some research online last night after I wrote that post and feeling better about the pram options - I was getting my head stuck on an Italian option that's not out in Australia yet

I suspect we won't have purchased anything till I am 30 weeks if that - we still have to paint the room and plan to do that at Easter. That's okay though. I know it doesn't matter - and partly I am waiting for the baby shower which isn't till I am 33 weeks - after that I can go crazy cause I will know what I have for gifts as well.

Thankyou it really does help having you guys in here xox

**Marley&Me** · April 6th, 2014, 08:50 AM

I put all my big stuff on layby first so I could pay it off. But even then I was about 20 weeks I think. No matter how hard I pictured it, I could never see myself with a big full term belly let alone a gorgeous little girl. I just thought maybe it was a sign it wasn't going to happen. Totally normal to feel this way. You will look back when you have your bub in you arms and wonder why you were so silly

**Mumma T** · April 6th, 2014, 09:14 AM

I never used 00000 and DS was only in 0000 for 4 weeks. There's nothing wrong if you wait t the shower and then buy, you will still have plenty of time to find it all. a little research now then buy up later sounds good

**Andie78** · April 6th, 2014, 09:48 AM

Yes, I used 00000's my little guy was 2.5 kgs when we left hospital. Little weenie! Can't remember how long he was in them, at least a few weeks, maybe more. We had feeding issues too, so took a while to plump him up. : )

**myturn** · April 6th, 2014, 10:15 AM

I guess I family can always buy smaller sizes when peanut is born if what I have already is too big

I don't want to wish any part of this experience away - but I just want it to be here so I know I finally be a mum and it won't get taken away from me (not that you can ever guarantee that - but you know what I mean).

**Andie78** · April 6th, 2014, 11:23 AM

I found the closer I got to full term, the more I just wanted him out safely. I felt like I was pushing my luck my being pregnant for too long, like something would go wrong at the end. Normal considering the time/heartache it took to get there. (And for what it's worth, my dh & I sometimes still have that 'it might get taken away at any moment' feeling sometimes. We can't believe our luck some days). Xx

**Mumma T** · April 6th, 2014, 11:35 AM

I found the closer I got to full term, the more I just wanted him out safely. I felt like I was pushing my luck my being pregnant for too long, like something would go wrong at the end. Normal considering the time/heartache it took to get there. (And for what it's worth, my dh & I sometimes still have that 'it might get taken away at any moment' feeling sometimes. We can't believe our luck some days). Xx

This is how I felt too.

**me4ever** · April 6th, 2014, 01:24 PM

Just jumping in to say hi, Myturn! So excited to see you're plodding along nicely and it's not long at all before you meet your little one (even if it seems like it's still ages away!!) I bought most of my stuff for bubba secondhand, I loved Gumtree for great bargains! Cot we had before baby was born, pram I bought when I was about 8 weeks pregnant, I just felt like it was an optimistic move, as in "this baby is going to make it". My bubba was 3.6 kilo when born, was only in 0000 for a little while, 00000 was too small for him, he was too long for it. I hardly bought anything, as I received a lot of presents, but also found I didn't even use half of it, as he was mostly wearing just onesies and swaddled, so didn't need warm clothes. He was a spring baby though… Do you know what you're having? Also loads of nice newborn stuff on gumtree that's still brand new! I started buying his 00 and 0's 2nd hand and have found some really good bargains for beautiful clothes!!