Pash - I had a scan booked for my birthday too.... it's very scary but also something to look forward to. Will you be able to check in here when you're travelling and where are you travelling? Notice that you're in London?
Ms K - glad all that worry was for naught and your little Hayden is safely here - 1 month old already! yay!
Hiya to T Hopes and Possums and everyone else i have missed. HB continued to delight. I call her the irrepressible girl cause she is just so full of life and curiosity and joy. That little girl just lights my world.
Anyway got to run...I went back and read some posts I thought I had but hadn't read, so that's why the extra post. As usual I am running late, but HB sleep takes priority over most things.
We had a terrible day yesterday. Just after lunch I started bleeding (Graphic details might be TMI for some) Really dark red blood and then two small brown clots. I was devastated and started shaking and crying. I went to the back room so DD(3) wouldn't hear me but she did and came looking for me. She asked if I was upset about Georgie (my beautiful 14yo border collie who died at Christmas) and said "Don't worry Mummy, we will get a new dog soon." DH had just gone out and doesn't take his phone so I had to wait till he came back. I had him take me up to the ER. I knew they couldn't do anything but I just had to know whether it was all over or not. They did a blood test for the HCG and said it came back at 10,000 which was the low side of normal and didn't really tell them anything. As it was Sunday they didn't have an ultrasound operator and were going to send me home and tell me to come back tomorrow. Then the head ER doctor said he had a portable scanner and he was willing to try and see if they could find a heartbeat but couldn't guarantee anything. The first time he tried he was silent for a long time and then said "I'm sorry but I can't find the baby". I was shocked until he explained that my bowel was in the way and they needed to fill up my bladder to push the bowel back. So I drank a litre of water and he tried again. He was silent for ages this time and then said "Oh, he just kicked you. I can't find the heartbeat but they don't kick without one." He then showed us bubby kicking away and found the heatbeat just after that. I cried with relief. I have an appointment with my OB Tuesday and they said it should be fine to wait until then. The bleeding has almost stopped now and I feel a lot more reassured.
India'smum was a terrible scare for you. I'm so glad to hear bub is going ok in there after the bleed. Can you feel bub moving yet? Rest up. Maybe your placenta is low and thats what caused the bleeding. Great news the bleeding is almost gone now.
Sorry I've been MIA. I'm about just have had little time to post with feeding issues.
hi dory sorry i missed your post, im sure that 5mins of footy = two rows of chocolate. You have been missed around here but ill just have to pull my finger out and come and see you and HB in real life!!
Selfish post from me
My OB reckons i could pop anytime woo - 3cm today!!!!!
Did a stretch and sweep which hurttttttt
she reckons it will be 5 in the morning i doubt that but i hope shes right
In case i don't get back thanks for all your support i never would have got through without all of you - you are all amazing
I want my newborn snuggles come on little man
and he dosent have to go to special care they are quiet at the moment so just watch his sugars while hes with me
oh yeah the cramps are killer....and my leg has hurt the few days after.....
joeve.....im so sorry..i must have missed what happened......if u need to chat im here
kellbell.....not long now hun....i hope u go into labour real soon..and i hope its a quick one and ur holding ur little boy real soon...cant wait to hear.....
Indias mum....what a scary ordeal......i will pray for ur little bubs and hope that everything is ok and its just a small bleed.....
Hey damprye. Alish. Cheshire..tegam. Mildez. Dory and everyone else
atm......im telling u im having a real bad run lately...it seems never ending..it seems to stuff left right and centre and that im always stressed these days...its so annoying and completely taking it out of me...........now the cops came round looking for the ex....she is in trouble again and they want us to take one of his kids in to speak to them..and the eldest daughter is causing problems and the mother who was looking after her said she is ringing abusing her....she is 14.........im just beside my self and so over it i will crack soon.....dad got his mask made up for radiation and mum is worried because it costs so much so she might have to sell the car.........and im a few mths of giving birth......................i wish my life would settle down a bit because this is too much for even me to take.........im sick of my life being so difficult and hard.......
Melster- It really does seem that the worry isnt going to end for u it will tho.. i know its hard not to let everything around u get u down. But u have to try and stay positive.. and focused on growing ur little one! Try and think about all the positives in ur life, u will find there is still a lot to be grateful for and happy about. Thinking of u xxx
Joeve- Oh im so sorry to see u go, so unfair
Tegam- I actually think im going to be really really shocked when they pass my baby to me! I know i have a wriggling little thing inside me, but im not quite sure that my mind understands that it is actually a baby! I know a lot about the whole labour process but i cant actually see myself going thru it all. Its like im doing all this planning and reading but its all going to be for nothing! Oh well i lie.. i havent really done much planning... apparently ur meant to stock up on nappies when u see them on special for the 6 months prior to giving birth... hmmm not me! I dont have any! Dont they just magically appear once u get home??! Im so not normal...
Kell- Ive already texted u but Woohoo!!! So excited for u!!! I really hope he makes his own grand entrance on his own and u dont need to be induced on wed, FX! It definitely sounds promising! Yay yay yay! (oh i am very jealous of u tho, i knew u wld beat me!! dammit!)
Damprye- Good on u for having a night out! Do u find it hard being sober tho??! I havent done anything with friends since before i fell pg cos i cant stand being the only sober one! Really dont like drunken ppl unless im one of them! Glad u had a good nite
Alish- I definitely think ur dh cld have felt little kicks. I never got any of the flutters from the inside. The very first time i felt baby i had my hands on my tummy way down low and it did 2 little kicks... it was just before i was 18 weeks. If i didnt have my hands on my tummy i think i wld have missed them! It was very stressful trying to get dh to catch the right moment to put his hands there tho... he was only home for 1 night just when i started feeling them and he kept missing them! I wld yell 'its kicking!' he wld come running and it wld stop. I cried when he left the next morning cos he hadnt been able to experience it haha, silly me.
Indias mum- Oh how stressful! I had a bleed at 14 weeks and just 'knew' that my time was up. Apparently it wasnt tho! Thank goodness! Im pretty sure mine was thrush related even tho i had no other symptoms. Like someone else said u might have a low lying placenta, hopefully ur ob. can shed some light at ur appointment!
Dory- How are u going?? No sign of af yet??
Hi to everyone else too!
AFM- Still just plodding along! Been busy busy busy. Think the nesting thing is kicking in. I definitely cant just sit on the couch and do nothing! Ive almost finished my list of jobs, hopefully in a couple days everything will be done.. altho i know ill come up with more stuff.. we have a huge garden so theres always gardening to be done! Oh and when i say my list of jobs its all housework, gardening and painting jobs.. i still havent packed hospital bag or washed the little baby clothes and cloth nappies that ppl have bought me. Oh i also dont have any cot sheets or nice cuddly blankets yet either. I think i'll do those things next week.. really better make myself a shopping list! Dont think baby is in too much of a hurry to come out tho, just have a big feeling im going to go late.. im going to go for a swim tomoro if its sunny and try and help him/her to get locked and loaded before my wed. ob appointment. I wld love to go and him say 'well baby is engaged and can come at any time!'
Anyway, hope everyone is well, sending huge labour vibes to kell! Once shes had her little boy i better get myself out of my whole denial thing cos ill be the most pregnantest person in here! OMG!
Joeve~ I am so sorry hun
Reet~ I am so exited for you i cant believe how far along you are!!!!!
Melster~ i am so sorry that everything is non stop stress for you i wish i had some magical words to help.
Hi to everyone whom i have missed i am sorry
AFM~ Honor has been actually eating we had to degrece the amount of food but increase the forumla powder and also the ceral in her bottle.No more throwing up and no more crying out in pain.So on tuesday we go back and get weighed in.
kell - yay today is the day!! unless ive missed a birth announcement??? good luck yayyyyy!! xoxoxoxooxxo
i see youre online so maybe not! ahh im so excited!!
reet - omg 8 days to go!! are you getting exicted or nervous yet?
i feel sorry for brett knowing what ill be like just before the baby is due.. i wish i was more like you! you seem very laid back, not uptight like me!
sounds like you dont have too much left to do though, when does your dh come home? he can help with some stuff
yeah i wasnt sure if he could feel it or not "the book" says after 20 weeks but they also say you wont feel any movements before 18-19 weeks and i did feel before that, he sat all sat arvo & sun arvo with his hands on my belly, for a mans man like he is it was nice to see him like that, and also he said to me i cant wait til your belly is massive, he surprises me all the time, geez i love him
melster - just seems like you cant catch a break can you? the ex sounds like a nutter! are all the kids with you now? at least they will be safe with you and dh.. and there is a silver lining, once your baby is born there will be something beautiful for you to focus on & give you happiness xoxo
hi cheshire!
angelfish - glad honor is on the mend, you must be so relieved!
Tegam the issues with feeding we are having is J doesn't feed well. She latches perfectly and then proceeds to use me as a dummy. She doesn't do those long drawing sucks and not once in 20days has she actually looked hungry. She doesn't feed like she is hungry like babies should. She also vomits excessively. Because she doesn't feed well she doesn't drain the breast which = my supply dwindling so I have to express to keep the supply up. So then I give her EMB via a bottle which she takes but also proceeds to vomit. I even tried her on formula (only 30mls) hoping it would sit better but nope she did her biggest vomit ever then proceeded to have a terribly unsettled day with wind. I can handle the vomits, expressing, giving EBM after breast if she is thrieving or now atleast gaining the minimum but she lost weight. Then she gained some and now I am waiting on her next weigh in a few hours to see if we are heading in the right direction. The Dr said the vomiting is fine. My first was the same but atleast she gained alot of weight. My 2nd was a massive girl. But J seems to be struggling. We will see what today brings.
Mildez~ Honor was having the same issue with throwing up right after eating or not wanting to eat you might want to check into reflux that is what she has and tommorow i find out if she has gained anyweight
WBM - Tell me about it... I'm so over that hospital. They're supposed to be coming out to do the hearing test but I haven't heard from them yet. Apparently my son's needs are as unimportant as mine were during my stay there. GRRRRRR. It isn't weird at all for you to be thinking about your angel baby. I still think about mine, and s/he would be 3y.o in October this year. Everything you're feeling is totally normal, and I understand how important it is to have DH with you and not one of your pg friends for your scan. Good luck!
Kellie - I'm still in a bit of shock myself, I think. And if Axel does need surgery on his foot, I'll take him to Brisbane. NO WAY will I let them touch him at GCH. They tormented me enough, they're not touching my baby boy. I just realised today's the day for you!!! How exciting Try not to worry about him going to the nursery... in my case without them Axel was in big trouble because I was in such a bad way. But I do understand not wanting to be separated. I found it hard. Good luck for your birth, I'll be thinking of you!
Pash - Welcome, I hope your stay here is a long (say 9 months??) and rewarding one. These girls are great.
Angelfish - I hope Honor improves soon, sounds like you've had a bit of a rough time of things as well.
T-Hopes - OMG you poor thing. And poor DH! lol. I guess at least it doesn't hurt..... but yeah.. dang!
Tegam - Mental is an understatement. I'm beyond mental right now. *insert swear words here* lol. So great to hear the 3 month haze has risen! I haven't even made it to 1 month yet and I feel like I'm drowning sometimes. Awesome work on the weight loss, 10kg is amazing. I too have lost a LOT of weight, mostly due to stress and anxiety, and well.. everything I went through. I won't give you a number because I don't want to detract from your own excellent achievement, but it's massive, and I'm more than halfway to my goal now. yay for us in that respect!
Damprye - Scary! Good to hear it's resolved itself now though and bub is kicking away.
Mildez - Argh! So glad you and the kids are alright. What a scary experience that must have been.
Ferrals - Omg, I am so sorry you had to go through that kind of pain and suffering. Horrible! You are very strong to make it through that. I can't believe they watched you go through that and did nothing to check you had pain relief.... wow. You sure we weren't at the same hospital? I've totally lost faith in the public system after my experience. What a shambles. Oh and I have total sleep envy! 6 hours already?! OMGGGGG I would love that much of a rest. Axel is so fussy, I'm lucky to get 3 hours at a time (that's rare) and some nights he's so restless he's waking every half hour wanting his dummy put back in, or his head stroked, or to be rocked and jiggled around constantly. It's exhausting. What made you think Ella was lactose intolerant?? I'm wondering if I should also make a formula switch.
Reet - I have no idea.... it was like a cascade of mistakes! With every intervention there was a complication. And now the withholding information about Axel not having his hearing test done, well I'm ropeable. Honestly, what gives them the right to make that decision? And to not even tell DP??? I wonder what else they've kept from me. I officially requested my file from them yesterday, so I have 15 days to wait before I can open up a can of whoopass on this situation. I'm not phased that I have to spend my mummy time on writing a massive complaint. To be frank, it's a welcome break from his crying and fussing. Yep, I got the screamy baby. Just what we needed after being all traumatized. *sigh* I think your body IS telling you to slow down, just like I have repeatedly lol. Promise me you will rest!!! And omg get your bag packed, woman! From my experience, my prelabour was so intense I knew Axel was coming soon........ for a week lol. You will know though. Trust your gut instinct. Don't worry about feeling like a passenger in your own pg. I felt the same, like I was watching someone else do it all... and even now, it's all very vague and confusing. I know I have a baby, but it's all so foreign to me. I think all us first timers go through a similar experience. And all hail the most pregnantest woman in here! LOL
MsKara - Haven't heard from you for ages! Congrats on your little man. Great name.
Kokonut - Welcome! I'm not sure if it's too early or not.... perhaps you ovulated early?? If you've been DTD and had +OPK's then it's not unreasonable to think you might have conceived again. The fact that you had -HPT's after your mc, and now have had 3 +HPT's, has me thinking you are pg again. Afterall, a line is a line as the wise women once said to me. Good luck and let us know the result!
Melster - I've had cramps like that. By the end of my pg I couldn't stretch full stop. And the vomit? I had that too. Intense heartburn is the worst! I hope your Dad is feeling better being at home and you can all have some quality family time with him. I completely understand the overwhelmed feelings you're having. Sometimes it really does feel like the universe kicks you when you're down. I hope this run of horribleness is over for you VERY soon.
Joeve - Come back soon...
India's mum - My heart was in my throat reading that. I'm so glad bubby is ok. Your DD sounds so sweet and caring to come and try to comfort you about your dog...... such innocence. Get as much rest as you can and stay strong hun.
AFM - This probably belongs in the boo-hoo room... but I trust you ladies more, so here goes.
I'm exhausted. I'm at my limit. I have the screamiest baby there ever was. There's no satisfying him! He screams for a feed, then won't take his bottle, but continues to make hungry faces. Then he gets windy, but won't burp. I can pat him for hours and get hardly any burping but I KNOW he's windy by the way he arches his back and goes all stiff. Then there's the sleep issue. Some nights he'll wake every half hour, or even less. I don't like the person I am without sleep. I don't want to 'talk' to Axel anymore, I don't have the strength to do the whole interaction thing at all. I feel like a terrible mother. I swear even he looks as depressed as I feel.
It's not that I don't love my baby, I do. He's gorgeous and probably the cutest little thing I've ever seen. But I feel so disconnected right now. Things just keep going wrong, I'm still dealing with the stupid hospital, I have to go back every week to have a new cast put on his little leg.... it's too much! Now when he wakes up (especially early in the morning) I find myself saying awful things like 'shut up' or swearing at him..... I disgust myself. At times I feel like I don't even want to be a mother anymore because I'm failing so miserably. WTF is wrong with me.. I wanted this so badly and now I just want to run and hide.
DP is worried about me, and probably rightly so. I can hardly even look at him, I just kind of sit and stare with a glazed look on my face while I hold Axel and he screams and carries on. They say babies cry for 3hrs a day average... well mine cries for at least double, if not triple that. Why can't I work out what's wrong? He's only happy if he's being held, and even then sometimes he won't settle.
I feel sick thinking I feel this way, and will quite possibly never have another baby after everything that's happened. So this is my one and only child, and I'm not treasuring him the way I should. I don't deserve such a blessing. I know some might suggest I 'talk to someone'......... but I just don't 'do' therapy. I need practical suggestions to get me through each day. Something I can DO to take my mind off the frustration.. something I can try to settle my little man so I can get my sanity back just a little.
I feel so awful right now. My poor little boy has a really selfish, useless, crap mother.
it will tho.. i know its hard not to let everything around u get u down. But u have to try and stay positive.. and focused on growing ur little one! Try and think about all the positives in ur life, u will find there is still a lot to be grateful for and happy about. Thinking of u xxx
I'm so over that hospital. They're supposed to be coming out to do the hearing test but I haven't heard from them yet. Apparently my son's needs are as unimportant as mine were during my stay there. GRRRRRR. It isn't weird at all for you to be thinking about your angel baby. I still think about mine, and s/he would be 3y.o in October this year. Everything you're feeling is totally normal, and I understand how important it is to have DH with you and not one of your pg friends for your scan. Good luck!
OMG you poor thing. And poor DH! lol. I guess at least it doesn't hurt..... but yeah.. dang!
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