Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 2011

[MistyFying]

Welcome to the pregnancy after miscarriage and loss thread. We look forward to sharing your journey to holding your baby in your arms. Welcome to the new members of this thread, I am sure you will be made welcome.

If you have any concerns within the thread please email/PM Rouge or Mistyfying. We make up the moderating team for this thread. Any concerns or constructive criticism that you have will be treated respectfully and confidentially.

Also, don't forget to check out the informative BellyBelly Pregnancy Articles. Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and healthy pregnancy!

Please note - To receive thread notfications click the "thread tools" button at the top of this post and click "Subscribe to Thread" there is no need to post in order to get notifications.

You will find the previous thread HERE.

[Reet]

Kell- Oh i hope things are happening for u! I wld be a bit scared of being induced too.. (especially after forshelbys birth story!) it wld be way better for ur little man to decide his own bday.. sooner rather then later! I cant remember has ur ob. said that baby is engaged?? Is that the feeling where it feels like it cld just fall out??? I have had nothing like that dammit! Come on baby engage!!!
So are u all ready and organised if he does decide to come soon?? No more jobs on the to do list??? I dont think my list will ever end! I just keep thinking of things i need to get done! ...like um the babies room! haha.

Forshelby- I knew u wld be worried about sharing ur story and freaking some of us out. I was a bit worried before i read it wondering if i shld or not! But im glad i did. It sounds absolutely horrendous and im so sorry u had to go thru all of it. I cld just kill those nasty midwives/ nurses! GRRRRR. But yeah i know that stuff like that doesnt happen very often... u have made me even more anti-c-section now tho! But ofcourse whatever happens happens. Ill still live in my little dream world for the time being that my labour is going to be all rainbows and butterflies! haha.
How is b/f going??? Any main pointers or tips???
A big gggrrrrr to ur mum too! But really from what u have said about her.. what do u expect... great that ur aunty is being good tho So how is ur mum with u letting ur puppy in the house (oh god forbid!!) with Axel?? Has she said anything?? I think that was one of her concerns..?? Its my mums too.
Oh and it was SO lovely to read about how good ur dp is being.. and the 'new connection' u share with him now! Its so beautiful I hope im just as proud of my man as u are of urs. xx

Alish- I hope ur heart palpitations settle down soon, there awful If they dont tho mention it to ur dr next time. If u do think its being caused by all the sadness on BB pls try and think positively.. just remember there are so many women on here all having babies or have had babies, as awful as it is there is going to be very sad and cruel losses from time to time (just like there is always going to be horrible natural disasters that wipe a lot of ppl out etc) But just remember.. (Famous words from Dory) Every day ur pregnant is a good one!! Every night i go to bed and thank this little wriggling thing that its made it thru another day and is still alive and kicking.. I dont think its normal to be thinking like that but i really do appreciate it!!
So good that ur so organised and have everything ready for baby!!! How exciting!!! Are u painting the nursery??

Anyway im being summoned to bed! Better go! Nite nite xxx

[alish]

kell - yeah we were obsessed with ebay at one stage, had at least 2 parcels coming a day! its sorta good that we r broke atm lol..
come onnn baby!

reet - probably wont paint the nursery - we are going to put the house on the market soon so there isnt much point!
yes im ridiculously organised, ive always been like that!! haha!

morning everyone! i woke up to guns & explosions this morning, dear old brett is watching ronan..! i sh*t myself!

[dory]

Hugs to those who are just so fearlful now... India's Mum, Possums, Alish - for me the fear never left, never. And even though I never actually believed I would be blessed enough to bring a baby home, I did. I can't say I felt instant bonding and happiness, but it doesn't always happen like that. I never felt disconnected from her once she was here though, and each new days brings just so much more connectedness. So don't worry that your worry and fear will interfere with how you bond with the baby once they are here.... because once they're here the real love story begins... and it is truly beautiful, in all it's hard work and exhaustion.....

India's Mum - I agree with TegamM - will having the info from the extra tests change what you'll do? For me, it wasn't likely to. DH and I had agreed even if we had a high risk of downs, the baby would be carried and loved irrespective. For a friend of mine whose first child had cystic fibrosis, they didn't do any additional testing, becaue they knew what the outcome would be for them irrespestice of the testing. Luckily for him their DS2 didn't get it.

Forshelby - good to hear from you. I must go looking for your BS... sorry you're mum has been exactly as you'd expected. And girl PRIORITSE rest!!!!! The house stuff can wait. I had so much trouble adjusting from doing basically nothing to being a mum to a newborn and recovering. So I hear you.... give your little bam bam a cuddle for me.

Reet - you make pregnacy look sexy!

Kell sorry to hear you're being induced.. I know it's hard to manage when the birth doesn't pan out like you'd dreamed.... be gentle on yourself and allow yourself to adjust.... it's ok to cry... and I know you know that baby getting here safely is really the most important thing... but while you're adjusting to the new arrangements, just give yourself some space.

Melster - a belated happy birthday... I know it's hard for you right now, just know that there's a lot of us sending you love and strength.

Got to run and find Forshelby's BS!

[forshelby]

Kellie - He has to have his cast on for 6 weeks, getting a new one every week as he'll grow so fast. I'm getting used to it now, as I'm sure he is. Nappy changes are a bit of a challenge but we're getting there! I guess people are staring at ME, not him.. probably thinking I broke his leg being a stupid first timer or something.. I dunno. Not that I really care, but I'm sure that's what they're thinking.

Reet - I had some really great midwives and nurses... as well as some real shockers. It just depended on the shift, I suppose. Being there for a week I met a LOT of people. There's actually more to my story but I haven't found the time to tell it yet. I might try to do it after this while Axel is having some Daddy time and I'm free. Your labour IS going to be all rainbows and butterflies, because I said so. Honestly, I didn't find labour that bad compared to everything else. Yes, the synto drip was horrible, but if I only had to do that part, and none of the c/s, or icu experience, I could do it again. So if you get to go into labour naturally etc, you should have a really great experience. The slow natural buildup of contractions is what I didn't have, which is why I think it was so hard to resist the epidural. I could only stand 2 hours of non-stop contractions before I begged for pain relief. I'm sending you positive birth experience vibes though lol. Yours will be very different to mine, I just know it. I always did have to be a rebel and do things the hard way, I should have known it would go like that for me. Oh and yes, Mum has said a few things about the cat and dog being in the house... I just told her not to be paranoid or ignored her. She's been a total drain the whole time, not offered to do anything and just wants to go shopping all day every day. Ok so she bought me some nice stuff but really I would forfeit all that for some frigging housework to be done. I even asked her why she hadn't done any laundry or anything and she scoffed and said it wasn't her job. Pfffffft. Rude! Today she's gone out shopping with my sister, and I hinted again that I had a lot of stuff to get done at home and she just said 'Oh well you'd better go then so you can get what you need done.' Yeah, thanks mum! I thought she might offer to come over later on and help, but no. It seems she's here for a holiday, not to help me at all.

Dory - I agree about the bonding thing. It's taken a couple of weeks to even 'wake up'. I do feel more connected to Axel now, but I still have my moments where I think 'OMG, who the heck are you...'. I am trying to prioritise rest, but it just doesn't seem to happen. I know it's important, but it's also important that I can move without tripping over crap on the floor.. lol. DP has been really helpful and doing housework while I wrestle with the baby, and vice versa. We kind of tag-team. Don't worry though, only the bare minimum is being done. dishes and laundry. My sister has been cooking and bringing us food which is great. Really helps! I'm glad I'm not the only one who found the transition to motherhood overwhelming. LOL, bam bam.. I will give him a cuddle for you.

AFM - Not much to add, still recovering, still adjusting. Axel seems a bit more settled today, but nighttime is just the worst. DP let me have a good sleep last night and this morning though so I feel a bit more with it today. That won't last long though lol. I have to say I miss my belly though. DP now calls me 'slim jim' which makes me laugh as I'm far from it........ but the transition from big round pg belly to having a waist etc again has been pretty drastic. Oh and my ankles are back!

[kellbell]

ForShelby 6 weeks will go quick im sure! stupid people staring
I just read your whole story you are amazing what a bad experience you went through what a crappola hospital. Im really glad you shared your story
Grrrrr to your mum how frustrating
Hang in there the first weeks are hard but wait till axel smiles at you it is so worthwhile.
NOBODY tell you how hard it is esp when you are tired i promise you its gets easier as they get bigger

Dory - thanks for your support i appreciate it. you have a dream in your head about the ideal birth its hard to shift it sometimes. The way im feeling over the weekend he might come on his own

Alish i need some of your organizing skills i am hopeless lol

Reet My doctor said he wasnt engaged yet but was close. i reckon he is now for sure - sooooooo much pressure down there i feel like i cant walk today its painful. I have an appointment tomorrow arvo so well see what he says
Everything is making me cry today something must be happening i reckon
No not organised lol - need to get the car seat in finish packing my bags and some more cleaning to do

[MsKara]

Its so stupid of me.. but whenever i see my ticker i find myself thinking god ive got so long to go.. even tho it was only a couple of months ago that i wld get so excited when i wld see anyones tickers past the 36 week mark cos i knew they wld be holding there babies so soon!
I honestly think im in denial, i really dont believe that we will be having a baby in the next few weeks. I feel like im only making myself set the babies room up cos its what i 'shld' be doing.. not because there is going to be a baby that needs a bed.

Yes i am stupid

Reet, I know I haven't been here for ages but I just saw your comment and had to reply. Hugs chica! I had that exact same feeling right up until they showed me my bub. I prepared everything because I should do it, but I didn't believe we would have a take home baby even while I was in labour. TBH, once it was over and he was in my room, I was pretty shocked and completely paranoid for the next few nights that he would die. I even slept with my glasses and the light on lol. What I'm trying to say is - you will be fine, bubs will be fine and you will have him to hug in a few weeks

[angelfish]

Thankyou everyone~ Honor stopped gaining weight due to her not eating at all. She lost so much weight that you can she her spine bones.So i had to pester her dr.She finally sent Honor to get test done today they did an x~ray and come to find out she has a bad case of reflux.If the meds dont work she might need surgry to have a tube put in to make her gain weight.

[Tegam]

wow angelfish i hope honor improves now they know whats up!



ummm feeling slack in asking and hoping i missed something but has anyone heard from S & S? wonder how Obe (sp?) is doing?

[damprye]

Angelfish- Sorry to hear that I know a Mum that is having a similar issue atm and because they havn't found out the reason yet, she is stressing and blaming herself. One thing it isn't is your fault hun so keep your chin up and know that you are a good Mum by making sure something is happening about it : )

Pash- Yays for your first scan being booked in, not long till you get you see your lil one : )

Reet- Lol wont be long now till you hold your bub thinking, how did I manage this lil miracle and spend the rest of your life wondering how you ever coped without her : ) ... Just read back and realised that your post didn't say what you're having lol. Ooops, I must have girls on the brain ^^

Mildez- What a scare Glad you are all ok

Tegam- Congrats on being 10kgs down and don't worry that there is still more to go, the main thing is that you are getting there : ) I have 20kgs to lose after bub... if I don't gain anymore that is

Cheshire- It is nice to just cruise along sometimes, a welcomed relief : )

Ferrals- Glad to hear your lil one is doing so well : )

AFM- Feeling great today. I done a water aerobics class today. It wasn't for pregnant women but my trainer does do a class for us preggos so she altered some of the moves for me while the other ladies got to do their usual workout : )
Going to go get my hair cut today so scared, I hate having my hair cut lol. Turning into a day out with my boy so headed over to get lunch and then off to the park means he should have a sleep afterwards and so can I

[alish]

hey everyone, isnt it funny when u skip a day you miss out on so much

mildez - glad youre ok, that would be scary!!

angelfish - sorry about honor, lets hope she makes a speedy recovery xx

pash - welcome! the ladies in here are a lovely bunch and congratulations

reet - stop being silly! youll be fine! p.s can you come and clean my house????

tegam - congrats on losing weight!

ferrals - hey! glad you and little ella are going well!

cheshire - hi! good to hear youre going well!

dampyre - hope youre having a good time with your son

all good here, nothing to report.. sorry im a bit vague today ! hi to anyone ive missed !

[~Hestia~]

Hi girls, sorry I haven't been a very good buddy lately. I'm 6 weeks today & m/s is getting worse everyday! Today I felt the worst yet but I'm not complaining Been getting into bed as early as possible, Moo wakes around 6am & I am soooo exhausted.

Yesterday I was the same gestation I was when my m/c started with my last pregnancy. Was very anxious & stressed all day. Kept running off to the loo to make sure nothing was happening. Feel better today but my next hurdle will be 9 weeks which is when there was no denying it was all over.

I'm having a scan next Friday when I'll be well over 7 weeks. Very worried about it, makes me feel sick when I think about it. But I try to keep in mind that I have sooo many symptoms this time, feel much differently.

Joeve - I'm so so sorry sweetheart

[Melster]

Forshelby. You have been through such a traumatic experience its completely understandable you feel the way you do. With DD i had her 3 weeks early by c-section, i had lost all my fluid and she was really distressed when she came out. My body wasnt ready and i had trouble with my milk coming in. DD was kicking down the crib she was hungry and the way she came out she was so distressed. I couldnt feed her and i had hundreds of mw telling me what to do and all there different opinions and rules. I had hundreds if woman seeing my boobs and touching my boobs and prodding me and telling me what to do....while dd is getting hungrier and more distressed. So i was pumping, feeding, bottle feeding, using this line thing, nipple shelds.....etc etc etc I had a nightmare of a time in hospital and a horrible time when i went home. She was exactly the same as Axel and very unsettled and then later on i also found out i had post natal. I was a first time mum at 31 and was so used to my friends and partying and having that life style it was a huge shock to me when i couldnt even go to the toilet....

A few things to maybe could help combat some of these things..... would be to speak to you're nurse. I cant think what there called here, but i had a nurse come and check DD after hospital and she gave me a questionair aboout how i felt....and when i expressed how i was feeling and i was having trouble feeding and DD sleeping etc she got me an appointment and i actually went in there to see another nurse and ended up having a day stay with them then an over night stay and then they sent me to free facility were i stayed for two weeks and they helped with sleeping, feeding, and discovered i had post natal so i got on tablets and counseling etc. I still had trouble when i got home with DD for months and months and didnt feel connected but eventually it got heaps better.

I'm not saying thats what you have, but maybe you need to talk to the nurse or maybe go to the dr's and speak to someone just to rule things out. You could also take axel to a peditrician (omg i am having one of those cant think days...is that what there called) to rule out if anything is wrong with him.

Maybe its the wrong formula and you might need to try a few even though its costly something might not be agreeing with him....When i was having trouble feeding they said to make sure that they stayed awake while feeding by waking them up ect so they have a full feed..and you can also do top up feeds 1/2 hr after they have fed. DD used to arch her back, sometimes warm water would do the trick...or having them lay on you're arm head at you're hand and bum up you're arm and pat or carry around....or over you're lap....or laying them on there back and rolling there feed and legs around and pushing them up to there tummy....that would also help... and there is stuff you can try from the chemist which can be a life safer as well. Go to the chemist and explain and they will give you the different options.

Tiredness can cause all sorts of problems, can DH take axel out for a few hours between feeds or even fed him......so you can be at home alone and get some sleep and cant hear him crying etc. Maybe a bit of rest might make a bit of difference..

Believe me forshelby you're not a bad mum at all....with everything you have been through and a new baby its totally understandable..and if you dont like talking to people...maybe read on line or get some reading about all this stuff.

Unforunately a few times i just lost it and did yell at dd...i went through some bad times and wanting to yell and scream at her etc and felt so horrible....but unfortunately you cant help it..things get a bit too much..... when you have those times put him down, go outside to the front or back yard for a few minutes and take a breather have a scream have a cry whatever..even if he is crying leave him and put him in his crib..he will be ok, or give him to DH and go for a quick walk, ring someone to chat too, make a tea, just do something to distract you're self for a minute.......

I am thinking of you and hope things settle for you soon..if you need to chat let me know..



Cheezlemonster..Its a reall good sign with having bad MS, so at least thats one thing!!!! and its hard getting past those milestones but once you do you will feel so much better and closer to having you're healthy bub..i know i hated those scans and i had a few due to bleeds etc..i would panick every time i went there even up to the 20 week scan, my heart would race and i would be a nightmare and i would panick everytime he checked for a hb......all i can say is do you're best to try and distract yourself and keep you're self busy so you're minds a bit occupied.....i tried not to read the loss stories for a little while too because i would get so upset and so scared...

[Tegam]

I am so sorry so many of you first time mummys had or are having such a horrible time. I want to gather you all up and bring you here and mother the mother. If we still lived in villages thats what would happen and none of these feeling would have to be part of your journey.....

[kokonut]

Hi girls,

I don't know where to post this. I tried starting a thread but I don't think it worked. I am new to this forum, I am not sure how it all works.
I had a miscarriage nearly 3 weeks ago. I have been using OPKS and HPT I got Negative preg tests a week after mc and positive OPK on Saturday and Sunday. We have been BDing. Yesterday both OPK and HPT were neg. I had some spotting last night, and this morning nothing. I took a preg and OPK this morning with FMU and I got a neg OPK and 3 positive HPT!!!
Do you think I could be pregnant I would have thought it would be to early!!!

Here's a pick of the tests. Positive line didn't come up until the 9 minute mark, I had a timer on. They faded slightly at about 15 mins.

IMG_6263 | Flickr - Photo Sharing!
IMG_6264 | Flickr - Photo Sharing!


Hope you can help. I don't know whether to be excited or not

[dory]

Pash - I had a scan booked for my birthday too.... it's very scary but also something to look forward to. Will you be able to check in here when you're travelling and where are you travelling? Notice that you're in London?

Ms K - glad all that worry was for naught and your little Hayden is safely here - 1 month old already! yay!


Hiya to T Hopes and Possums and everyone else i have missed. HB continued to delight. I call her the irrepressible girl cause she is just so full of life and curiosity and joy. That little girl just lights my world.

Anyway got to run...I went back and read some posts I thought I had but hadn't read, so that's why the extra post. As usual I am running late, but HB sleep takes priority over most things.

[India's Mum]

Sorry, this one is all about me.

We had a terrible day yesterday. Just after lunch I started bleeding (Graphic details might be TMI for some) Really dark red blood and then two small brown clots. I was devastated and started shaking and crying. I went to the back room so DD(3) wouldn't hear me but she did and came looking for me. She asked if I was upset about Georgie (my beautiful 14yo border collie who died at Christmas) and said "Don't worry Mummy, we will get a new dog soon." DH had just gone out and doesn't take his phone so I had to wait till he came back. I had him take me up to the ER. I knew they couldn't do anything but I just had to know whether it was all over or not. They did a blood test for the HCG and said it came back at 10,000 which was the low side of normal and didn't really tell them anything. As it was Sunday they didn't have an ultrasound operator and were going to send me home and tell me to come back tomorrow. Then the head ER doctor said he had a portable scanner and he was willing to try and see if they could find a heartbeat but couldn't guarantee anything. The first time he tried he was silent for a long time and then said "I'm sorry but I can't find the baby". I was shocked until he explained that my bowel was in the way and they needed to fill up my bladder to push the bowel back. So I drank a litre of water and he tried again. He was silent for ages this time and then said "Oh, he just kicked you. I can't find the heartbeat but they don't kick without one." He then showed us bubby kicking away and found the heatbeat just after that. I cried with relief. I have an appointment with my OB Tuesday and they said it should be fine to wait until then. The bleeding has almost stopped now and I feel a lot more reassured.

[Mildez]

India'smum was a terrible scare for you. I'm so glad to hear bub is going ok in there after the bleed. Can you feel bub moving yet? Rest up. Maybe your placenta is low and thats what caused the bleeding. Great news the bleeding is almost gone now.

Sorry I've been MIA. I'm about just have had little time to post with feeding issues.