Angelfish - It's good to know I'm not alone. I've been giving him 'wind drops'.. DP calls it fart juice...

Tegam - I like the shower idea but it's just not always possible. The way he screams when he's worked up I just can't put him down and leave him as I'm scared he'll choke or something. When it is possible though I'll be doing that. The walking idea is good too, I guess if it's raining I can take him to a mall and stroll around in air conditioned/heated comfort. Eating is tough, but I discovered yesterday if he's in the sling, I can actually get food in my mouth while he semi-sleeps. The radio was by far your best idea. We played it ALL NIGHT while he slept... yes, that's right, HE SLEPT. For 4 and a half hours solid. That's a record for us, so I'm pleased. Note to self: music = good. Oh and I had a look at the hug a bub sling... wow. They look so good, I almost whipped out my credit card right away to order one. I'm holding back though because he seems to be adapting really well to my el-cheapo regular type sling. Yes, I'm a tight*****..... Thanks for all your advice, I really needed it. It's weird you mentioned the village thing because that thought has crossed my mind. It's sad new mums have to feel so isolated and disconnected from everyone. It just seems wrong, and no wonder I'm struggling.

Erybery - Thanks for crashing, I thought about reflux, but it just doesn't seem to fit. He almost never vomits, and burps quite well when he has his wind drops. But somehow he still manages to get all riled up and screamy. Maybe he isn't getting ALL the wind out? I don't know. But thanks for the idea, I'll definitely mention it next time I see my GP.

CheezelMonster - Hooray for ms Good luck for the scan and the next hurdle!

Melster - There definitely has been somewhat of a 'mourning period' for my old life. The lazy mornings, the random naps..... the ability to go to the toilet when I needed to. I don't actually have a nurse, because I told them to shove it after they called me 6 times in a row, left a message, then called DP's number repeatedly while I was in the ER about my wound gushing blood and fluid. I know they didn't know I was in the ER, but seriously... harrassing phonecalls are NOT ok. Call once, leave a message, and WAIT! I have considered the GP but today he seems to be a lot better. Typical. Make mummy have a meltdown and then decide to behave. I think daddy had a stern word to him last night. Formula is a possibility as well, though once again he seems fine this morning. I tried the top up feeds, it seems to just make him greedy ITMS. He would start wanting to be fed every half hour, have a small gulp then go back to sleep/screaming. Right now we're trying to get him into a routine of 3hourly feeds, or longer stretches if he'll sleep that long. I wish I could get DP to take Axel for a few hours between feeds, but he's at work from 8.30-late. By late I mean at least dinnertime every day. It makes things really hard. Most nights I can't even get dinner prepared because I'm here on my own and can't juggle the baby and a frying pan. You're right though, some rest really would help. Pity I just can't get any most of the time. I tried to do some reading but every time I pick up a book or turn on the laptop he starts freaking out and screaming.... makes it hard to concentrate. I like your idea of calling someone for a chat but everyone I know is at work during the day when I'm by myself and need the support most. It's not their fault, they just have their own lives. I might invent an imaginary friend to talk to.... lol. Your advice is also really helpful so thankyou, I'll do as much of that stuff as is possible, when it's possible.

Mildez - Funny you should mention the call button lol. I kept saying to the mw's in hospital when I was leaving "I'm fine, I can handle it. There's no call button at home!" Now I wish there was one. Sadly DP is killing himself working long hours and overtime to provide for us, and I feel like a b**** asking him to do more. He does so much. Even taking on a lot of babycare and housework when he gets home. Just makes me feel more useless really as I'm mostly stuck to the couch with the baby in my arms all day long. It's frustrating.

AFM - Feeling a little better today. DP insisted I go to bed as soon as we'd eaten last night, and he took care of Axel. We made a plan to stop adding his 'fart juice' to his bottles (as he wasn't finishing the entire thing, hence not getting a proper dose) and we think that's why he was so unsettled. Instead he gets a shot straight in his mouth before each feed, and so far so good. He still cries, but not as desperately and not for as long. We also tilted his bassinette mattress, and added some continuous playing of the radio all night for good measure. DP had him asleep for 4.5hours solid.

So after having 7 hours of sleep before I had to get up to tend to baby, I'm feeling slightly more sane, and less prone to meltdowns today. I've also enlisted my sister's help and on Thursday night she's taking our little man for his first sleepover. Part of me feels like a crap mother for palming him off so soon, but we're just so exhausted. I know I'll feel weird without him here and even miss the crying to a certain extent. But this is about our sanity and being able to parent effectively without yelling SHUT UP because we're so overtired. So for now I'm telling myself it's for the greater good. I hope my poor sister gets some sleep though. Mother's guilt, eh? I'm also heading out tomorrow for a day of shopping with a friend, (Axel loves to shop apparently, and is always calm if I'm in a mall) so tomorrow will be a good day! Shopping, sleepover, oh and I am going to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine, snuggle with DP and pass out for 12 hours or more lol. DP seems keen to get it on while we have the chance, also.... *chuckle*. We'll see about that!! I'm kind of scared to let him near me after the way this whole thing turned out, lol. I keep telling him his 'thing' is a weapon of mass destruction and to keep it away from me.

Anyway, sorry about the long rambly posts and the random meltdowns..... but thank goodness I have you girls or I would have gone crazy by now.