Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 2011

[forshelby]

Tegam - thanks hehe

Possum - Feel free to stand up and cheer, I need all the encouragement I can get here! LOL.

Alish - I've given up on trying to give her the 'wake up call'. It's like trying to wake someone up from a coma. i hope the ms eases up soon! But enjoy the reassurance aspect of it. I must have missed one of your posts... did someone steal your chosen baby name? Who? Omg! I would be so cranky. Oh and LOL@ bonding with your couch. That gave me a chuckle!

Kit - LOL@ the cornchips, I know that feeling well. She definitely isn't going to provide any help and or relaxation while she's here, but thank god she's staying in a hotel and not with me. So if she's too much for me to handle I can at least tell her to get the hell out of my house. I'm not really sure why she's coming since she doesn't want to do anything to help me. She's gotten more selfish as she's gotten older. Still, I think I'll allow the trip to go ahead, for a few of my own nasty reasons. 1. She's terrified to get out of her comfort zone. A bit of terror is just what she deserves for all the mindgames she's played with me. 2. She's never bothered to come down to visit me ONCE in the time I've been here (almost 8 years now) so I figure she can suck it up and make the trip this year as I won't be doing it again for quite some time. 3. It'd be good for her to see how I've established a life for myself here, and might (That's a big might by the way) realise I'm a capable adult worthy of being treated with respect. Like I said before though, if it's hell on earth for me, she won't be invited again- EVER. And I won't be wasting my money flying up to see her and have her treat me like dirt as per usual. ANYWAYYYYY..... Come on little tiger! I love that you've assumed your position on the couch and are doing the whole 'over there- no, in that cupboard. Left! Right! Not like that!' Lol.. so amusing. Best of luck with the birth, and I can't wait to hear all about how precious your little man is. OH OH, have to edit this one........ CONGRATULATIONS on Tiger's arrival! I was just thinking as I wrote your persie... hmm, I wonder if I'm too late to wish her luck. Psychic much? Lol. So proud of you and enjoy cuddling your beautiful little boy. xoxoxo

Melster - Ordinarilly I would say the letter is a good idea, but when it comes to my mum, I'm better of writing the letter, then shredding it and throwing it into the ocean. Because that's about how much notice she would take of anything I said. If I dare criticize her for being selfish, she has this weird way of turning it all around so she's the poor victim and I'm the nasty ungrateful child. It's such a twisted situation, and yes it goes very deep. Sometimes I wonder if dad hadn't died if she would be different. He'd be so disappointed in the way she treats us. I hope your cold gets better, it's awful when you're sick and can't really take anything for it! Maybe try some natural remedies? You know, honey and lemon drinks.... steam therapy etc. Of course get LOTS of vit. C into you, and believe it or not, garlic is very good for your immune system. DP likes to have garlic in most things we eat, (luckily we both like it lol) and I can't remember the last time either of us was sick. (touch wood)

Dory - LOL we have been hogging up the forum a bit there, hehehe. I say if you can't be bothered going out, you might as well keep me company on here... hehe. I also use BB as an excuse to avoid housework. Right now though, I'm in the bedroom with the aircon CRANKED because it's boiling hot today and I feel like I might melt. It's so hot the air-con only just takes the edge off the heat. Even the furbabies are in here with me, sprawled on and under the bed looking very tired.

Mildez - You hit the nail on the head there! I could scream it in her face and she still wouldn't get the point. She's far too perfect to listen to my nonsense, and how DARE I expect her to be of any assistance during such an important transition in my life. Mostly I just want to rub in how great my life is and how fantastic it is to live here, and not there with her. She hates seeing me happy with a decision she wouldn't have made for herself, so that will be my passive-aggressive revenge. After that, I'm finished with her and her b.s! I hope all is going well with your pg, I noticed we don't see you in here a lot.

Bec - Ouch, I hope you're alright! I also had a fall at 6wks pg and it scared the daylights out of me. I stumbled on the stairs at work and fell on my er, bottom... for lack of a daintier word. All was okay though, just my ego was bruised and I burst into tears because I scared myself. I hope your GP puts your mind at ease. Apparently in the early stages bubby is so well cushioned and safe down in your pelvis all will be fine.

Clairesmummy - I think you're coping just fine with this whole pg thing! You always underestimate yourself, hun. How many times did you say you didn't know if you could keep going..... (ttc) and here you are! You're stronger than you think. Good luck with the outlaws... ughhhhhh I couldn't imagine the annoyance of having them stay with you.

Sunshine - Oh I've set the boundaries, but whether they'll be respected is another issue, lol. I hope you have a better time with your mum than I will with mine... hehehe. I dare say you will! Mmmmmm snow. Just thinking about it is making me feel less sweaty. Australia's summer is VICIOUS! thinking cool thoughts now though, I even have my computer desktop set with an icy snowy scene to inspire me to feel cool. Hehehe. Enjoy your time at home and I'm sending you cold-sore-be-gone vibes.

Angelfish - What does the non-stress test entail? I'm curious. Good luck, I know it's hard not to feel nervous, but just leave it in fate's hands. The doctors will take good care of you being aware of your bp and heart problems, all you have to do is master your nerves. Great news the judge seems to be helping you out in regards to the ex from hell.

Ferrals - Hmm yes I know it's tempting to tell her to F off, but I listed some good reasons above not to. Most of them for my own sick pleasure. Hey, two can play that game. It'll be over before I know it and thank god she's not staying in my house. (she can't because of my filthy animals. A cat and a small dog.) All I can say is thank god for my filthy animals, they saved me!! haha. I forgot your last day of work is on my bday...... that's so great. Hooray for 30 weeks, awesome news. I hope your 17y.o is okay....... gosh you don't need any more stuff like this to deal with!

ck - Welcome! I know exactly how you feel, in fact I'm sure we all do. The innocence of pg is definitely gone for us, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy it. Try to steal a few happy moments here and there, and bond with your baby. Congratulations!

Dory again - EEEEEEE!!!!!! I am now 2nd on the list, I believe. Thanks for sharing the news about Kit and Tiger....... so exciting. I nearly cried when I read it but I'm too dehydrated to squeeze out a tear. *chuckle*

AFM - I'm so tired after that marathon catch-up session, man this thread flies! I'll do my update in point form so I can finally get to the nap I came in here to have.
- Had my 2hr GTT today, it sucked bigtime but I met a lovely lady in the waiting room and we did the whole 'gushy pg woman thing'.
- Sweating my butt off now at home, just waiting for the sun to be off the pool so I can go for a float.

That's all I can remember now........... I'm sure there'll be more. Oh, yeah there is. DP came home from work yesterday and had another little mini-rant about the dishes not being done. (a couple of plates and bowls etc.. nothing catastrophic). It's starting to annoy me now! It's like because he's in a crap mood he has to come home and criticize everything. Look, I didn't sweep the floor either, aren't I useless? BAH! I'm on strike today.

So much for point form.... I think my brain is semi-cooked in this heat. Excuse me while I zone out for a while.

[angelfish]

Kit~ i am so happy for you!!! i started to cry when i saw dory's post

Forshelby~i think its just last mintue nervous about everything right now. A non stress test is where they strap two round things to your belly and they listen to the heartrate and when the baby moves you have to push a button the other one is to see if your having contrations. She is a flirt already there is one male dr in the whole pratice and she will not be moving that much if the women are in but if she hears him she starts moving allot lol. Usally they do the test for 20 mins but if she moves like she is suppose to then i get off early but if she does not move they give you juice to make her move more.

[Reet]

Hi Girls!

CONGRATULATIONS KIT!!!!! GREAT NEWS!!!! Cant wait to hear all about it!!

Dory my EDD is 27th April. You are so good for doing that list up! Its great!

Forshelby- Sorry about the dramas with ur mumma, it sux.. I really hope things work out. Is ur auntie definitely coming? You are SO LUCKY that ur mum isnt staying in ur house.. im starting to dread my inlaws. They are travelling down a week before my due date and i think staying with us.. NOOOOO! I know that i will just want to be alone at home.. with dh. Dh had to explain to his family the other day that we dont want everyone in the delivery room with us when im in labour.. they had just assumed they would be in there for EVERYTHING! His mum plus 2 sisters (probly with step dad in and out plus 6 kids) NO WAY! My mum and sisters wont even be in there. I definitely dont want to share those special first moments with everyone! His older sister has had 5 kids so is an 'expert', and his mum a bit of a know it all.. i can just imagine screaming at them 'get the hell outta here!!!' but im sure a lot more explicit! Luckily dh agrees with me and told them straight!! Im also dreading them telling me how to breastfeed etc.. absolutely dreading it. It really sux that we have these types of things to worry about, its meant to be the happiest time of ur life.. not filled with anxieties! Anyway my rant over.. haha thanks for listening
Oh and thanks for the colour scheme idea for babys room, it sounds really nice and i wld definitely do it except the room is pretty small (hence the overly bright colours we have in it now!!) so i wld be scared that painting it a dark colour would make it look even smaller! I dont know what we are going to do.. i might just paint it boring white and wait til baby is here. Who knows.. its starting to do my head in thinking about it!! haha.

Im going to be really slack and not do anymore persies at the moment.. in a big hurry and need to jump off here! I think i need to start making time twice a day to do persies.. i think thats the only way i will keep up! Im so bad i havent posted in my BB group in over a month! They have probably forgotten all about me!!
Gotta start making more effort!!

Oh before i go.. anyone suffering from calf muscle cramping? i am getting the worst ones in my sleep.. my leg stays sore from it for the next 3 days afterwards, its horrible! Dh has never had one so doesnt understand the pain! Do you know what i am lacking??

Ok really gotta go! Will be back soon! xxx

[kellbell]

Congrats Kit thats awesome enjoy those newborn snuggles

[dory]

THE LIST cont'd

Kit - popped!
Angel - due late Jan/Early Feb 2011 - my best estimate
Forshelby - due 14 March 2011
Ferrals - due 30 March 2011 but c sec likely between 9 - 15 March 2011.
Sunshine and Stars - due 20 March 2011
Ionna Macca - 26 March 2011
Jenna - due 28 March 2011
Mildez - due 14 April 2011
Reet - due 27 April 2011
Kellbell - due 29 April 2011
T Hopes - due May/June 2011 - my best estimate
Melster - due 15 July 2011
Stoked - due 5 August 2011
PossumMagic - due 28 August 2011 but induction about 12 August 2011
Possums - due July/August 2011 - my best estimate
Dampyre - due 15 August - 5 September 2011 - date to be confirmed
Alish - due 10 September 2011
Clairesmummy - due August/September 2011 - my best estimate
BecnXavi - due 10 September 2011
KirstenFleur - due August/September 2011 - my best estimate.
CK08 - due 25 September 2011

Ferrals - I hope your DS is coping ok. Must be incredibly scary to be tested for testicular cancer as a teenager... I have no info or experience with it. Just glad he had the courage to let you know something was not feeling right. When is his test and what sort of test and when will he know the results? How are you coping?

Forshelby - I think you hit the nail on the head about your DP - he has a crap day and just dumps on you ( but it does suggest some victim mentality [and I should know cause I think like that too sometimes, much to my deep embarassment],

Here's my pop psychology for the day - "he's had a bad day, he thinks he works hard, he comes home and doesn't think that you've worked hard because god forbid there are dishes left unwashed, so he has a crack at you". Buy you have to remind him the work you're doing right now can't be seen - growing eyelashes and tiny little finger nails, and stuff. I say those things because they are cute, likely your bubs already has them, but DP doesn't need to know that. And then once bubs is here? I suggest leaving bubs with him for a few hours when bubs needs changing, settling, feeding ( if BF'ing can express) and then he will understand a little of what it takes to care for a baby on the outside. Just as hard in terms of work just not as obvious in terms of tangible things - like no dishes on the sink. Honestly he needs to find another way to off load his frustrations at the end of day...hmm let me think... doing the washing up always works a treat. In addition to pop psychology I say he's got two arms and legs and if he needs it to be done so badly he can do it himself.

Melster - feel better soon. I agree with Ferrals - go to the chemist and see what they can offer you.

No more persies for me today. Insanely jealous of Kit.... but oh so happy. Toodles.

[Melster]

Congratulations KIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...hope everything is going great with the new family member!!!!!

Forshelby.....would it make you feel better if you wrote her a letter and she read it anyways...(even if she tries to turn it around on you) then at least maybe a bit of it would get through to her and in her brain and she would think about it all...sometimes people blame and turn it around when there defensive because they know there in the wrong....maybe then at least you would have said your peace and might feel a bit better by letting it all out (well i know i do anyways) and letting her know exactly how you feel about everything....then she has no excuses...

Hey Reet, anglefish, dory, ferrals

CK08....welcome and congrats....oh i defiantly felt that way with this pregnancy..think it gets better the further along you get...i am heaps better now at 14 weeks then i was earlier on..i really struggled with scans and tests etc..but further you get you tend to relax a little more..and once you have reached over when you mc. Good luck and a happy healthy 9mths for you

ATM..i'm looking forward to going home..heaps tired today and just feel terrible....i am wearing my hubbies shirt today at work and am wondering if they have noticed LOL LOL....my stomach feels quiet hard and its getting that bit bigger now...i cant believe im nearly 15 weeks....WOW...Im starting to wonder if its a boy or girl...hubby would like a boy because he has an overload of girls..lol lol i dont mind either way...guess it would be easier with a girl and im a girlie girl....but you get what angel god gives you.....were not going to find out this time...see what it's like having a surprise...

[alish]

ck08 - yay welcome, glad to see you out of the other thread and into this one with us

forshelby - it was one of my friends! we were pg at the same time, she was ahead of me and i told her and she took it! b*tch! now i dont really like it anymore because she spelt it dumb lol we still like it but pronounced a different way!

my asthma is playing up atm it really gives me the sh*ts! i didnt feel as sick today cuz i had something to eat at 10 so it seemed to stop it, i may have to start eating little meals more often instead of my standard breakie, lunch & dinner.. hello fat arse!


OMG KIT!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! HOPE YOU AND BUB ARE WELL!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOOXOXOX

[damprye]

Congrats on the birth of lil Tiger Kit

Belly rubs to everyone else

[ferrals5]

Kit- what wonerful news and to think this morning i thought you were still waiting for his arrival congratz hun and relish what a miracle you have just achieved.

Dory-Courage! ha thats a laugh he has to much he just walked in and dropped his pants and showed me his nuts i can tell you i was not prepared one bit my son has no shame or modesty what so ever but i supose that is a good thing.
He is going for an u/s as soon as i can get him in hopefully next week then if it looks suss then they will do a biopsy.

[dory]

Ferrals - last thing you'd expect I agree!

[alish]

reet - i get them all the time, someone once told me its a lacking of salt, i went on some tablets and i stopped them, but that was years ago so i cant remember what they were.. i get them now if a stand for more than like 8 hours a day, its the worst pain, like your calf muscle is going into a ball! it wakes me up of a night, i can feel it coming on in a dream and i wake up and think ohhh no its coming!! i just massage it out, i can hardly walk but it feels a little better!

[ferrals5]

I am doing it again thinking of all the things that can go wrong still birth ,cord knotted, cord around bubs neck, placenta failing ect the list goes on i have read of to many ladies babies who die just before their due date there heart just stops how do i know my girl is ok how do i know everything is working in there these ladies had normal pregnancies with no real warning signs i just wont cope losing another baby i am so worried that i will come home empty handed again why do i do this to myself.

[damprye]

Very quick one from me. I have just separated from DP. There is no going back from this.

[dory]

Damprye - be strong girl, you can do it. You are putting yourself and bubs first. Go gently... this is tough ( DUH, I hear you say, I KNOW). Hugs.

[dory]

Tiger is now officially known as Samuel born via c section. BF'ing like a pro... Mum and Dad totally besotted.

[Tegam]

Tiger is now officially known as Samuel born via c section. BF'ing like a pro... Mum and Dad totally besotted.

Yay welcome Samuel! Hope Kit is not in too much pain, do you know why the cs dory? Bfeeding like a pro... kit knew he'd like boobs

[Tegam]

I am doing it again thinking of all the things that can go wrong still birth ,cord knotted, cord around bubs neck, placenta failing ect the list goes on i have read of to many ladies babies who die just before their due date there heart just stops how do i know my girl is ok how do i know everything is working in there these ladies had normal pregnancies with no real warning signs i just wont cope losing another baby i am so worried that i will come home empty handed again why do i do this to myself.

Oh ferrals, if it helps i had these same fears all pregnancy, i believe that was half the reason i didnt bond with Molly while i was pregnant with her. I found it helpful to be honest with myself and DH about my fears. Its such a horrible thing to think about. There really isnt a lot you can do. Dory will have better advice i guess. I just tried to sort out my fears from my gut instincts. I followed my instincts where i could and talked thru my concerns with DH.

On a positive side at least this is where a planned CS may reasure you. You will not have to go to term and you will be incontrol of the when and the how....

Please keep talking about all this with us, we are here for you!

This is the reason that DH and i have decided that there will not be anymore babies for us. This fear and the unknown are just too much for me to take anymore.

[forshelby]

Angelfish - Ah, thanks for explaining that to me, I wasn't sure what it was all about. Sounds pretty non-scary I think last minute nerves are natural, you'll work through them and everything will be just fine.

Reet - Try kicking your DH in the calf repeatedly, then ask him how he feels the next day, lol. Best way to explain, I think. I also heard that not enough salt can cause cramping, but try not to over-do it with the salt because it encourages water retention and swelling.

I don't know if my Auntie is coming yet, but I don't see her wanting to miss out, she doesn't have any grandkids of her own yet so is always SUPER excited to meet a new great niece/nephew. I would be dreading the inlaws staying with you too...... ooooomgggggg..... stressful much? I can't believe they just assumed they'd all be in the delivery room with you! How awkward. Sounds like you'll have your work cut out for you, with the 'expert' and the know it all. If you need to scream, just scream lol. Maybe get your DH to have a quiet word with them about allowing you to find your feet, and NOT imposing their knowledge on you unless you ask. Even better, can you postpone their visit until a few weeks after the birth? That might give you a chance to establish your own routine before they descend on you.. hehe.

Dory - I've tried that kind of psychology on him before, but he just rolls his eyes. I tried explaining how much weight bubby is putting on each week right now, and the amount of energy that is sapping from me....... and he just thinks it's an excuse. It's starting to make me really mad. If he's had a hard day, I can forget about having my sore swollen feet rubbed, or anything else rubbed for that matter (lol). I know he works hard etc but I feel like I need a little bit of TLC too. Since there is no sex anymore, I need SOMETHING. I feel like in the last couple of weeks the intimacy has really disappeared while he puts all his focus on how much he hates his job. Which in turn just makes me feel guilty because he's doing this crappy job to support me. I don't know, I don't know!!! It's all so complicated. Is it going to be like this when the baby is here? "Oh I've had a rough day, you just do everything." I've been extremely exhausted the last few days from having to get up early for various appointments etc, and today was my first chance to sleep in. He knows this, but because I forgot to put his clean socks in the dryer, he comes bursting into the bedroom loudly, and says 'GEE, THANKS for washing my socks but you didn't tell me I had to dry them. Now I have to wear soaking wet socks all day'. Then slammed the door and went to work. No kiss goodbye, NOTHING. I couldn't believe it. He frigging woke me up, to yell at me about the fact that I didn't clean HIS socks to his standard? OMG! So I made a mistake. Again. Big deal. I do this from time to time as I'm not exactly 100% focussed on his laundry needs...... how hard is it for him to check the night before if he has dry socks? Oh no, that's all up to ME. And if I get it wrong, well.... look out. It's like the only things I hear from him are negative lately..... how sh** his job is, how unfair it all is, how his socks are wet, the dishes weren't done, I haven't vacuumed, I'm going to 'struggle' to lose the baby weight (WTF, I know, give me a chance before you start telling me how lazy I am and how I'll never do the exercise I need to). I could just CRY right now. In fact I think I might. At least he's not here to judge me for crying at the moment. I don't know how to explain any of how this makes me feel without him getting all defensive and having a tantrum. But I swear to god if he comes home and starts criticizing me again and then spends the rest of the night playing his F*****G Xbox, I'm going to scream. I know he works hard but I am tired too, although apparently I have no excuse because I do nothing, and what I do manage to accomplish is wrong or not up to standard. !@#$%^&*(

Melster - It really wouldn't make me feel better because she's the type to just never let that sort of stuff go. It'd be 30 years later and she'd still be stewing about how I dared to write her a letter about how I feel. It's just not even worth the hassle. When she pulls her stupid stunts, I tell her verbally that it p***** me off and that I'm not tolerating it. There's just no getting through to her, no matter HOW I tell her. She just isn't a reasonable person and can't admit fault for anything. Hooray for being almost 15 weeks pg though, go you! Enjoy your hubbie's shirts too lol...

Alish - That's so rude of your friend, I mean she could have at least ASKED. Bah!!

Ferrals - Bravo to your boy for having (pardon the pun) the kohunas to let you know! It is a good thing and speaks volumes about your parenting that he feels comfortable enough to do that. I hope all is okay. About the worrying about bubs... I know it can be hard to turn those thoughts off. They've actually started creeping in for me again lately, you know, since we've come so far I get a bit worried that something terrible might happen at the end. The only advice I have for you is to push those thoughts aside, and try to replace them with positives. If you find yourself worrying about the cord... tell yourself NO, it's fine until proven otherwise. I guess what I'm trying to say is worrying never changes the outcome of anything............ not that it stops us worrying. I don't know if any of that helped at all.... I'm a bit all over the place this morning.

Kit- Samuel is a beautiful name.... awwwww.

AFM - Well as you may or may not have gathered by my massive vent to Dory....... I feel crappy today. It's hot, I'm cranky and just feel like what little I manage to get done isn't appreciated. Not exactly motivating. I'm also angry that DP didn't even say goodbye this morning, BECAUSE OF A PAIR OF SOCKS. Why is it that it's ok for him to have a tantrum over stupid small things, but I have to be perfect, cool and calm, never getting angry even when it's warranted. I think I'm going to explode. I don't know if I'm just finally experiencing the pg rage that others have spoken about... or if it's just random 'my DP is being a jerk to me' feelings.