Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 2011
Welcome to the pregnancy after miscarriage and loss thread. We look forward to sharing your journey to holding your baby in your arms. Welcome to the new members of this thread, I am sure you will be made welcome.
If you have any concerns within the thread please email/PM Inanna, Rouge or Mistyfying. We make up the moderating team for this thread. Any concerns or constructive criticism that you have will be treated respectfully and confidentially.
Also, don't forget to check out the informative BellyBelly Pregnancy Articles. Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and healthy pregnancy!
Please note - To receive thread notfications click the "thread tools" button at the top of this post and click "Subscribe to Thread" there is no need to post in order to get notifications.
Ferrals - sorry to hear you're spotting.. I've heard it's common with placenta praevia.... but common or not, still not nice to actually see. Enjoy your lie down and hopefully no hossy for you.
I decided I would announce Molly's arrival as it's such a wonderous bit of news to announce... and Tegam then gets to read all of our well wishes and welcomes for Molly. Congrats on 27 weeks too.
Kell - I used to drink peppermint tea a lot, helps with digestion. Not sure about heartburn.... hope you find a solution. Congrats on 23 weeks.
Melster - sweetie - every pregnancy is different... each of my 5 have all been different from each other in terms of how I have felt about the pregnancy and the baby. It's ok to be scared and not feel as "attached" to this pregnancy... it's only natural after a loss. It doesn't mean you love this baby any less, nor want this baby any less.... I think it's just a way we protect ourselves from being hurt.
But what really worked for me to feel connected to Hannah, was to put my hands on my tum as often as I could and just quietly say, "I love you and right now, right at this moment I am pregnant and I am growing you as best I can". I would then close my eyes and take some deep breaths and just try and enjoy the moment. If you can string enough moments together, eventually you'll get there. Some days, even when I only felt despair and forboding I would do this..it helped a little in those bleak times. It sort of became a ritual.. I find myself doing it even now. Most of the pregnancy I had to work hard at feeling like there was even any hope of getting to the end...and now look at me... I miss being pregnant and want to do it again.
I never thought I could love another child as much as I loved Amelia, our firstborn, who died. But even though each of my pregnancies have been hard and high risk, I love each of my babies. You do too, it's just hard for you to feel that right now, because there's so much else going on....
I hope you find a way through your feelings.... I have been there and felt much like you many times and found my own way through... you just have to keep trying to find a way that helps you. It won't be solved with the wave of a magic wand, but anything that is worth it, requires some work. And this is well worth it.
Go gently on yourself too.... this is hard stuff. Hugs.
It's also good to seek help from a counsellor. They can help you with thinking about things differently or help you devise strategies to get through the tough times.
Forshelby - ahhh I so miss to pregnancy woes and discomforts. Crazy I know. Good idea to be kind to yourself and get out of the heat and humidity. Just remember, even if you feel blah, you are doing to most wonderous thing ever - growing a bubba. And when you bubba arrives you can look at the tiny fingernails and say.... I grew these! And the impossibly small hand grasped around your finger and say I grew these!
Hmm - I am like Kell - can't remember too much of what was in the last thread.... will catch up another time. Take care mummas.
Audax - hoping you're enjoying your newborn cuddles.
Ferrals - Being told it will happen still doesn't prepare you for actually seeing it, does it? I hope it resolves itself and you can avoid a hospital stay.
Dory - Excellent advice for Melster, well said. I too know I will miss being pg (I still don't think I'll miss the swollen feet though!) and DP and I have already discussed having another. It might sound really morbid, but we kept thinking 'what happens when we're both dead and buried?' We want this child to have someone they can feel connected to, and to still have a family even when we're gone. I would hate for this little one to wind up all alone, even if they are all grown up. From the man who said NEVER EVER to having even one, this is extremely exciting and shows just how much things can change. And the best part? I didn't have to badger him at all, he just came to me one day and said 'let's have a baby'. It's sooo wonderful to hear him say he wants to do it again when number 1 hasn't even arrived yet.
AFM - Well it's cooled down a bit now so I'm feeling a bit better. DP asked me to go and fuel up the car, which was a bit of an ordeal given the humidity.. I didn't want to get out of the air-conditioned car to use the pump lol. People are asking me everywhere I go now when the baby is due. It still takes me by surprise every time. I know my pg is obvious, and my waddle is extremely stylish (LOL) but it still surprises me when people ask. Whenever DP is with me and a shop assistant asks (usually a lady) he gets this grin on his face and he looks so proud.
Well i just spent the last 5 hours in hospital i was put on a monitor they were talking steriod injections and being sent to royal north shore for the NICU but bub is happy in there and no sign of contractions or red blood they did an internal to make sure the cervix was closed it is and the blood is very light brown so they said that is to be expected with PP the doctor wanted me to stay overnight for observation but i refused as there is no red blood and i think i will stress more in hospital so i am home now and told to rest no housework ect.
Tegam-well i guess i can now say welcome to the word little molly and i was so excited to read your txt this morning.
Reet-I have been like that from about 16 weeks until just recently i had to go to the loo at least every hour or i would be so uncomfortable and yes its just a trickle but that has nothing to do with your pelvic floor if you can hold it and its just uncomfortable thats just having a bub sitting on your bladder its when you dribble or leak urine from laughing coughing or lifting heavy things that is a sign of a weak pelvic floor.
And as hard as it is losing a loved fur baby i have found buying another one really helps you cope with the loss and move on i love giving new furbabies a great home i always think do they know how spoilt they are!
Stoked-lol its not hard to get left behind in here we all talk a lot and the pages seem to go slow then all of a sudden you are 3-4 pages behind so a lot of catching up if you have been away for a few days.
Kirsten-we all have our safe stage we want to reach and it does help but once you have lost a baby and hear others stories of loss it is very hard to believe that you are safe even until the end i am 28 weeks and still have this niggling worry my little miss wont make it of course i know i am being silly but i just cant help it because after what i have been through it all feels to good to be true.
Alish-welcome to the thread i hope this little bub is your take home baby.
Damprye-How are you doing? i hope all is well.
AFM-nothing much to report just waiting for my GD test on friday then 3 weeks after that i have my u/s to see what this placenta is doing and if it's still covering the os then book my date for my c section OMG! that will be in about 9 weeks.
Ferrals - Ripping your bum in half..... hahaha. I'm pretty sure that's what my dr prescribed me, 'ferro'.... but to check that would mean getting up so you know where this sentence is going. LOL. My stockings are for fluid retention. I didn't realise it but even my legs are swollen. (I guess that's good news, it means I'm not as fat as I thought!) Are you doing the 1hr GTT? I'm going to go in and have mine done next Monday. Hopefully the iron will have had a chance to kick in by then so it might be easier to get through if I'm not feeling so tired and weak. If you do have to have a cs, you'll have your baby before me! That is unless I go early. Hehehehe, how exciting!
Alish - CONGRATULATIONS and welcome Will you be having an early scan or repeat HCGs or anything like that? Just curious. Yay for a 2011 baby for you
Damprye - Sorry, can't hear you for all the crunching of my fibre rich cereal.... lol. About the sore bbs, YES I had this symptom during my first pg. I remember telling DP he had the shower on too 'hard' and cringing when it hit my nipples. (hey, we like to save water, lol). His response was 'are you sure you aren't pregnant?' Turns out I was. It's a good sign that you still feel sick and your bbs are still really sore, all of that diminished and disappeared for me when I had my mc. Do you have any cramping pain or clotting? I have my FX for you.
Dory - I did wear my thongs with my sexy legwear in fact, they're the only shoes I can get my feet in these days. *sigh* I'll definitely wear my stockings as a 'conversation piece' for my GTT, and definitely take a good book to keep me occupied. IKWYM about anaemia making you tired.... I was so exhausted I could barely stand up to cook dinner last night. I told DP I was tired, and he said 'Well go to bed, Sweetie.' I asked what about dinner. He said 'Cook dinner first then' and tried not to smirk. What a cheeky bugger he is! I couldn't help but laugh. And don't feel like you need to leave any time soon, we'd all miss you too much! You're like our pregnancy oracle.
Kirsten - that must have been so hard. I still feel a little bit nervous every time the doppler comes out and they start hunting for a hb. It never takes long but I'm always a bit edgy. Even though baby has been kicking the c*** out of me, I still get nervous.
Reet - Welcome back! I hope you had fun camping, and congrats on the cute new puppy. I'll be stalking for pictures now of course. You poor thing, a sunburnt tummy is never fun. I have that frequent peeing going on.... mostly at night time. I always go to the toilet before bed, hoping to get as many hours sleep as possible, but now I'm up again at least once before I can even fall asleep with that uncomfortable 'busting' feeling....... but then there's barely anything to ah, release. LOL. It's frustrating! So I'm up about 3 times during the night just to pee. I think it's all pretty normal for where we're at.
Possum - Visualising the end result is a GREAT way to calm yourself. As they say, eyes on the prize! When will you hear from your dr/ have more tests done?? I have everything crossed for you.
AFM - My lower back and knees are so sore lately.... ughhh. I think carrying this load is starting to really wear on my poor body. Apart from that though everything is pretty good. I feel like I could go to sleep again and I only got up at 9.30 though. I have to find the energy to get out and get those iron pills.
Forshelby-thats the way to look at it fluid not fat i will have to tell myself the same thing i know my legs are holding fluid by my really bad sock indents after i finish work.
And if i have a c section it will be at 37 or 38 weeks so more than likely the same week you have your bub i am hoping for 37 weeks my last son came at 37 weeks and i dont want to go into labour and risk hemorage.
I am off to work for a 10 hour shift yukkkkkkkkkkkk! come feb 13th my last day bring it on.
Ferrals - Oh how exciting we could be having our babies at the same time. Sounds like you've got a good plan in place. Ew for the 10hr shift....... just ew! Oh and Feb 13 is my birthday, so we can celebrate for two reasons!
Hi ladies!
On my phone again as I cancelled our home Internet as it was costing a fortune!
I just wanted to pop in and tell you all that I saw the most beautiful sight today.. I had my screening appointment at the hospital and i mentioned to the OB how anxious I've been this week as it's the time I lost my last baby (but didn't know til 3 weeks later) so he did a quick scan.. And lo and behold was my little bubba.. Kicking his/her arms and legs and moving like crazy! I so wasn't expecting it to look like an actual baby! I measured 2 days behind but I think it's cos the machine wasn't the best (I hope!). I am booked in for another scan tomorrow so we'll double check then!
Woohoo!
Sorry it's selfish but I can't go back to see what everyone else has written!
Hope you are all well! Xx
Damprye - LOL @ the mattress punching you.... Apparently I don't need the 32wk scan as we know the placenta is ok now. Good luck for your scan tomorrow
Stoked - Not a selfish post at all, how exciting! 2 days behind is a matter of millimetres, so I wouldn't worry at all. I too will be on phone internet for a few days while we sort out a better home internet solution.
Wow ive missed alot this thread is flying by the moment!!!
I dont think i can even try to catch up i have read everyones posts though - im glad everyone seems to be going well
Got a quick scan at the OB yesterday hes getting so big! heaps of fluid and hes head up but doctor says plenty of time for him to get head down. he doent fit on the screen anymore
One of my close friend chose to tell me yesterday of two friends of hers that lost there babies this week at about the time i am . thanks for that it freaked me out. Lucky he kicking like crazy today to make me feel better ill be glad to be 24 weeks so if something happens he has some chance
and we have our due date coming up for our loss in may
better get off the computer big storm coming through i hate them im scared already
Well, little sweetpea is hanging in there! I went to the OB today and he did an external scan (no internal needed, yay!) and we could see the baby and see the flickering heartbeat and if we were really quiet we could hear the heartbeat too (and see it on the graph on the screen). All looked ok. And my thyroid results came back normal (Yay cos they were too high in my first pg that miscarried).
I have to admit though, i was already feeling sad again on the way home: I'm so scared of everything that can go wrong. The scan only reassured me all is ok for now. I can't be sure it will still be ok next week. Because the first baby i lost died jst before 12wks i think i won't relax until i'm past the 12wk scan. (And even then... I think i know too much now about all the things that can go wrong in pg. I'm scared stiff). I'm trying hard to get back to the mantra i used when pg with DD: "other people have healthy babies, there's no reason that can't be me."
PHew! Alright, enough gloominess... and about me.
T-Hopes: Oh i can so understand why you'd be obsessing over what the u/s person said about baby's ear but I agree: It's probably nothing; just the way bub was facing when they took his/her picture (with ear closest to the camera!) Glad all was good.
Kellbell: Gosh people are tactless hey? Why would you freak out a pg person with stories like that?! Glad your little man kicked up a fuss about it.
Stoked: HOw lovely you saw your baby. And Two days behind is not something they worry about i don't think.
Damprye: Good luck with your scan. Will be lurking to hear your news.
Tegam: :Thank you! That's cool you remember Molly at 6wks of pg. Helps me to visualise ahead to when I might have a newborn too. Also, it was great reading what you wrote about Molly: I could picture her all snuggled up in bed with excited siblings all around. A lovely image.
Forshelby: Good news that your placenta is movin' on up. Does that mean you can go for a natural birth?
Kitfaerie: Different colour eyebrows? Awesome!
Ferrals: I hope the house hunting gets better. And yay for getting closer to finishing work!
Mildez: ouch poor you with varicose veins up there. My good friend who's near term with her baby has the same thing. (And she did for her last pg too and all went ok with the birth).
Reet: How cool that you can feel all of bubby's little pokie arms and legs now!
Alish: I can relate to your nerves. I hope you can get some reassurance soon with blood results and scan.
Mildez- OMG that sounds awful! U poor poor thing! Im glad u can still dtd tho.. bet ur dh is too, pity ur in pain afterwards, i hope its always worth it at the time tho! I think i wld be a bit worried about labour too.. imagine bursting the vein! Its not like ur not already in enough pain giving birth!
I hope i have some sex drive after this baby is born, i think its going to kill my dh getting thru the 6 weeks without sex after i give birth!! Its not looking too promising tho, i dont have much of a sex drive now, i'd probably be happy with maybe once a week if i didnt have an everyday man!
Ferrals- Best of luck house hunting!!
Kit- Oh so close now!! I bet the last 2 weeks are a little scary, glad u have some good books to keep u occupied Have u started doing any of the things that supposedly bring on labour yet??
Forshelby- I cant believe how close u are!! LESS then 10 weeks to go! So do u feel all organised and ready?? Is the babies room complete?? I still want to see pics!!
Tegam- Hello!!!!! So good to see u in here again!!! Ur little molly does sound just perfect!! I cant believe ur already doing the food shopping with the whole clan! Im already worrying about doing it with just one baby! Glad ur doing so well
Damprye- Yay for tomoro!! Cant wait to hear ur exciting news!
Stoked- Woohoo! How exciting! It sounds like u have a little groover growing inside u! Its the best piece of mind seeing them in there all happy and healthy hey..
Kell- Oh how annoying that ur friend felt the need to share those stories. I have been having the same worrying thoughts lately... every week that goes by i feel a lot 'safer' I cant wait til im 28ish weeks.. ill feel a lot better then i think. Great that baby is kicking around a lot, mine feels like it never stops too!
AFM- I think i may have started nesting! Or maybe i just had a little cleaning attack cos the inlaws are coming to stay on sat for a week.. haha, always a good reason to clean things! I fully sorted the kitchen tho and got rid of all the stuff we dont use, i even got rid of the mismatching knives and forks! Feels so good to declutter!
I have written myself a big list with every room in the house on it and what needs to be done in each one.. (i love lists!!) I want to get it all done in the next 6 weeks.
Still havent even looked at baby stuff yet.. we are going to wait til the inlaws are gone and then move all the furniture out of the room and give it a good clean out and then buy the cot etc. I cant wait!
Thats great news that u have a beautiful little healthy baby growing! How annoying that u have already come down from that high tho.. i was always the same.. Get my reassurance, feel that sense of relief but then those gloomy thoughts wld come back into my head. Those first 12 weeks were really scary for me too.. and i cld never actually imagine getting this far in this pg. When i had a small bleed at 14 weeks i was thinking to myself Oh well theres my luck gone, what else was i expecting? So negative but its so hard not to be sometimes. U just have to try ur hardest to have some faith in ur body.. it knows what to do! Its made a perfect little girl before!
Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 2011
It might sound really morbid, but we kept thinking 'what happens when we're both dead and buried?' We want this child to have someone they can feel connected to, and to still have a family even when we're gone. I would hate for this little one to wind up all alone, even if they are all grown up. From the man who said NEVER EVER to having even one, this is extremely exciting and shows just how much things can change. And the best part? I didn't have to badger him at all, he just came to me one day and said 'let's have a baby'. It's sooo wonderful to hear him say he wants to do it again when number 1 hasn't even arrived yet. 
Ripping your bum in half..... hahaha. I'm pretty sure that's what my dr prescribed me, 'ferro'.... but to check that would mean getting up so you know where this sentence is going. LOL. My stockings are for fluid retention. I didn't realise it but even my legs are swollen. (I guess that's good news, it means I'm not as fat as I thought!) Are you doing the 1hr GTT? I'm going to go in and have mine done next Monday. Hopefully the iron will have had a chance to kick in by then so it might be easier to get through if I'm not feeling so tired and weak. If you do have to have a cs, you'll have your baby before me! 
. thanks for that it freaked me out. Lucky he kicking like crazy today to make me feel better ill be glad to be 24 weeks so if something happens he has some chance
I think i wld be a bit worried about labour too.. imagine bursting the vein! Its not like ur not already in enough pain giving birth! 
Bookmarks