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Thread: Pregnancy after miscarriage or loss ~ July 2010

  1. #199

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mildez View Post
    Murraycod your post made me post lol its actually only the 2nd time I have stalked so not bad. The first was a few days ago to see if anyone was in here super early like myself. I think by my dates I am 6wks1day today. We had a scan last Tuesday that showed the fetal pole measuring .33mm or maybe cms. The FS put me as been 6wks then but the CRL definately wasn't as big as a 6wk one so I am still going by my dates. LMP put me at 6wks the date of the scan. And no HB which I guess is normal considering I think I was about 5wks3/4days at the time. FS said I can have a scan at 12weeks so it feels like a very very long time away. I saw him basically to confirm this pregnancy wasn't ectopic so he see's no reason now that is confirmed its not for me to have another before the 12weeks. I am just so anxious to find out this pregnancy will progress and am really worried I'll have that scan at 12weeks to find out emby has stopped growing with no HB. I am terrified actually. Although its so early I already feel we have come so far just getting pregnant and then it not been ectopic. If something happens I think I'll honestly just give up. So right not I am abit of a mess. I didn't expect to be so anxious and thats why my posts have reduced on the forum as frankly I am ashamed of how I feel. I know some of the other lovely ladies in the LTTTC threads would give an arm or a leg to be in this position and all I can do is panick as my ms isn't bad enough or my boobs dont hurt as much as yesterday etc. Its such a mind game for me at the moment.

    Kit Congratulations on finding out your having a lovely little boy. Woohoo. And a huge Congratulations to everyone else.

    Murray migraines can be cruel. I had my 1st one when I was pregnant 4yrs ago. It was so bad my speech was slurred, couldn't walk without running into things it was horrendous. I hope its passed completely and doesn't come back. Since then I have had a number of them and there nasty nasty things.

    The 12week scans are amazing. You can see so much. It feels like a lifetime away for me lol. Half way there (from LMP)
    Oh Hun, you are so right about this all being a mind game! So what if the LTTTCer would give anything in your position, they dont know what you are going through so its not up to the to judge you! Nor are any of us, but thats why you post here rather than in other threads as this is the place that you can talk about all your fears, rather than jus the ones that are aceptable to others!

    I had an ectopic in Feb so i can relate. I had a scan at 5weeks and then had to wait til 12. It was a bloody long time after no seeing a HB! You could always go to a new GP and get a referal for a scan... They dont hav to know you have had one! Good luck and i know that it feels weird to come in here on a downer when some of us are talking about positive stuff, buts thats only cause are are over our emotional humps at the moment. Everyone was so nuce to me when i had my moments!



    Ferrals: i too think of your scan often! 4weeks hun, we can make it!

    Murray: Such lovely words!

  2. #200

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    Murrycod-Cracking up at your shark dreams but it did make me feel better.
    And as for the prego porn its just getting worse i have never felt it this intensely before so of coures the better it feels the more i want greedy me now if i wasnt so dam tired i wouldnt fall asleep before the kids so we can make as much noise as we want.

    Thanks for praying that my cvs is all clear i really dont know how i will be on the day and during the few days we have to wait for the results it makes me sick thinking of it now.

    I still cant shake this freaking fluid retention i look 5 months pregnant

  3. #201

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    Mildez - Well done on your scan. One step at a time. I'm so glad you are expressing yourself here. I held off in joining til I was about 6 weeks. By that stage I was beside myself. So scared, worried and anxious. My mind was churning about, is it going to stick? will this work this time? will I ever be a Mum? Your feelings are so normal. Hold on girl and just congratulate yourself for getting this far.

    Ferrals4 - sooo understand the tiredness. With the tiredness that I had, the worst thing about it is that I got depressed with it. Hard to admit that but that's how the tiredness really effected me. Not being capable of doing what I could normally get done, and having to take lot's of sickies. Made me feel so incompetent, work meant so much to me. I am so glad you can share your journey with us. And I'm guessing the CVS results will take fooooreeeever!! aaggh.

  4. #202

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    Timeforafamily-the cvs results shouldnt take more than a week as they know what gene to look for because they already have the faulty gene from DH and Abbi and myself when we had all our genetic testing so i hope to god it will take less time i will ask for the FISH test to be done in the 24 hours to check for chromosones and we will find out the sex of our bub.

    Tegam-thanks it nice that others are in this with me and it is only 3 weeks away now the time is going fast.

  5. #203

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    Ferrals I too am praying for a wonderful CVS result. I can't imagine how stressful the wait is especially after the cvs waiting for the results. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you and your family.

    So I was sitting here this morning feeling depressed I was feeling so well and all of a sudden I had a huge spew attack. I don't think I've ever been so happy lol I was probably laughing as I was hurling. I am not enjoying the fact one moment I feel too good and wishing I was sick 24/7 just for some reassurance. Oh well I've known for over 3weeks now so only another month or so til I am sure I'll relax a little more.

    DH is not coping with my fatigue. In bed a 7pm last night and when he came in to think he could use the ensuite I snapped at him and told him to use the other bathroom. So Im not in his good books. He isn't understanding why I can be in bed so much but yet still so tired.

    Murraycod I think your safe from the shark if your that far away from the ocean. Sounds like your as close to the beach as I am.

  6. #204

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    Yeah, considering I'm 6 hrs away from the closest shoreline, never surfed or wanted to in my life, and would be too scared to go past my knees depth in water.........chances of being eaten by a shark are pretty slim
    I have more of a chance of being bitten on the toe by a Turtle since I live on the Murray....hmmmm.......actually.....that has happened to me

    Yay for the Puking Attack!!!!!WootWoot!!!!!

  7. #205

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    Hiya - I have skimmed through your posts.... and need to go back and actually remember... sorry bit of a me post coming up....

    KIT I am so excited ... your little tiger is a little boy! Congrats... I am so super excited for you.

    Mildez - I couldn't have said it any better than Tegam.

    Tineforafamily - well done on the scan...

    Murray - arghh a migrane... yukko...just glad you're feeling better. Glad your furbabies are going well after their op. I remember how excited you were when you "adopted them". Our vet says often after vet visit "cat siblings" can get tetchy and fight even when they don't normally. I was upset when our furbaby came back, as one of the others just had such an extreme reaction... but he got over it. I think it was the smell of the vets? Poor thing wasn't a fighter as such but got himself so worked up he was vomiting, initially about every 10-15 mins. The cats have been really affectionate today. Two of them slept with me earlier today. Now they are all crowding around for pats and or warmth. Geez I am so lucky to have such companionable and adorable cats.

    Ferals - only 3 weeks to your CVS.... I have a feeling that your dreams are just your worry and anxiety finding another way to express themselves, but none the less, they are very upsetting and often feel so real...

    I have always been exhausted in all of my pregnancies, but the twin pregnancy was pretty demanding both in terms of energy and appetite. But then in terms of energy levels, this one has been too, and I am way more exhausted this time around.

    Anyway, on to the me post. Sorry. Good news is that as of last week I don't seem to have pre-eclampsia but my BP is a little higher than it's been and there are traces of protein in my urine. I am still having some of the other symptoms. My SIL ( who's a Dr) explained that the "stars" I see the shower might be attributed to the heat in the shower in combination with increased blood during pregnancy. It's good news, but I think I am just in a worry wart state of mind. I am excited about the imminent birth of this little bubs... I just hope that we get to bring bubs home, healthy and doing all the usual new born things. I just wish I could be genuinely believe we will bring a live bubs home. I have no fears about the birth, we will meet our little bubs, and we will get through labour together and we will hold and adore our baby. I just can't see or believe beyond that. It feels like I am almost betraying this bubs by thinking that way. I feel a bit sorry for myself that I can't be super excited. But at the same time, despite the discomforts that late pregnancy seem to have blessed me with, I absolutely adore and love this pregnancy.

    I guess I'll get there, I am just so so so very scared about a late stillbirth... and even though I can run through logical arguments as to why I shouldn't feel that way, I just can't beat the fears. To be honest, it's like a return to the dark early days of pregnancy when fear was at every turn.

    Sorry about the me post.... I just needed to share. Belly rubs to all. Together I know we can get there....

  8. #206

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    Dory, totally normal to be scared. One thing that helps me is repeating ''it's just a thought'', I know I can sometimes react to fears like they are certainties, but they're not - they're just fears, they're just thoughts. You have done so incredibly well, and you don't HAVE to beat the fears, but remember that they are NOT CERTAINTIES. It's just a thought.

  9. #207

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    Kit - thanks for the tip... it's a good one... I like it. Thanks.

  10. #208

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    Dory I feel the same and my history isn't as heartbreking as yours. With my DD almost 5yrs ago I couldn't prepare myself to have a baby out of fear there wouldn't be a baby I could take home. That was before I had trouble ttc or carrying. That was fueled by my work as a midwife. I was so under prepared and I guess I did that as protection so I think your completely rational to feel like that. Odds of that happening are so so slim and I do agree with Kit that reminding yourself its just a thought or fear might is a good idea as thats exactly what it is. Since having trouble ttc and then having a few early pregnancy losses the fear I had I am sure will be twice as bad this time as last time. I'm a mess and I am only 6weeks. You have done so incredibly well. To be honest those fears won't go until your holding your slimy wet screaming newborn (and then their replaced with other fears) its completely normal even when you have not been through what you have been.

  11. #209

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    Mildez... parenting is just one long list of worries....

    I do like what KIT said, fears not certainties. I will just have to repeat that. I am glad in a way that in your first preg that you felt that way... makes me feel "normal". LOL, since when have I ever wanted to be "normal? In all honesty for me, even though I hadn't experienced many early m/c, the early days of this preg were far more harrowing than the later ones... I so understand your fear. For me it was almost paralysing and those days seemed endless. I think I was being honest and feeling sorry for myself. But thankyou for your support.

  12. #210

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    Murrycod-girl you need to clean out your PM inbox i tried to reply to your msg and couldn't lol.

  13. #211

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    YAY Dory is normal!
    Some things need to be celebrated!

    LOL, huni you know how i feel! Still so proud of you and all that you do!

  14. #212

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    Just a quick one tonight... Have been lurking but not really up for posting that was until you Miss Dory posted your comments then I finally felt sane....

    Ever since I hit 35wks all I seem to think about and worry about is this baby not coming home with me. I'm not scared of labour or of looking after her if she were to come home, I just get these horrible thoughts that something is going to go wrong...

    Dory I 100% understand your comments/fears/thoughts thank you for sharing them with us/me... I know in my heart that we both will be taking home healthy little bubbas I think we just need to keep reminding ourselves that it will happen and keep our support networks close...

    Belly Rubs to all!!!

    Ps: Audrey moved the entire time I typed this, I sometimes think she knows when her mummy worries about her...

  15. #213

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hope.Positive.Love View Post

    Ps: Audrey moved the entire time I typed this, I sometimes think she knows when her mummy worries about her...
    Of course she know, what a clever little lady you have!

  16. #214

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    Morning ladies i'm having a freak out i don't want to do the test now i have 20 days until i have to have it i just want to pretend that everything is ok and not think about it.
    I know i cant it wouldnt be fair on the baby DH and i knew the risks and said if it turns out bad we just need to get on with it and try again but now i am getting nearer to the inevitable reality is setting in i am so scared of being told what we don't want to hear.

    Sorry for the meltdown i am not possitive at all.

  17. #215

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    ferrals4you have no reason to say your sorry. you have allot on your mind and the wait time i am sure your going to have good days and bad days. i have been praying really hard for you that everything will turn out fine which i am sure it will hun.

    Afm i got back from my camping trip on saturday and on the trip i felt the little butterfly feelings so i know that the baby is starting to move and i can feel it

  18. #216

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    hey Ferrals :babe i vote you climb under that rock and stay there for a few weeks. Yes sure, we'll all pretend that nothing is out of the norm and you dont need any tests! I like it!

    For one i want to say i am VERY proud of you from getting rid of it off your signature! It was a downer for you! The baby is real and a part of you. It is not a rational decision to be made in three weeks!

    In three weeks time you WILL put one step infront of the other and you WILL do the CVS so you KNOW for sure that this baby is here to STAY!

    But until then, we will visit you under said rock and talk about the weather!

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