Oh wow ladies. I know some of what you are going through. When I was preg with DS I wasnt allowed to have sex due to preg complications. Then when DS was born he was very sick and needed lots of heart surgery which as you might imagine was horrendous.

My DH and I had sex when DS was 5 weeks old (c-section delivery) and it hurt! I didnt want to after that for a while and then life was too stressful to have the energy or desire. I think we didnt have sex for around a year, then a couples of times in the second year. I did have counseling about stress etc and my counselor said that if we were having regular sex with the amount of stress we were living with there would be something wrong.

DS was also a rotten sleeper - up six times a night on average for 2.5 years and slept in our room until he was 14 months. My DH and I have both made and effort to get some intimacy back. Just cuddling and more touching WITHOUT it going anywhere. I think that is really important just to feel safe in cuddling and kissing without thinking it has to go somewhere else.

If you are preg, raising young children and sleep deprived - you are going through major changes. It is not reasonable to think other things in your life are also going to go through changes. My DH and I are back to having and enjoying sex (currently 6 wks preg so too scared to have sex!) and we are glad we made the effort to rebuild that part of our lives.

I dont think a reduced sex life means the death of the marriage necessarily. End of communication means the death of a marriage. Believe me ladies there will come a time when your body and mind are ready for sex again. I didnt think I would ever want to do it again. Its such a big adjustment though having kids and such a drain on your energy.

Rachel