Girls ,
Thankyou so much for your support-it actually makes me tear up. I'm so scared, i have my thorough ultrasound booked for tommorow. I have had the midwife call me today to give me a run down of everything that will happen tommorow as i will be seeing about three different specialists. i'm starting to feel a bit like a lab rat.
I don't want to think"Oh woe is me" but why?? Didnt i already have enough to deal with, i think my last bloods havent been good either as the itching has started and i have to see my ob/gyn tommorow too. I called my sister in a bit of a panic,saying why are there all these people involved in my care? "Do they know something they don't want to divulge over the phone?" Something worse than the talipes?Because they did say earlier that it could be more complicated. I cant stop fretting, but my little boy keeps kicking away almost to say I'm here mummy and I'm ok. God i love him so much,so so much. i need him and want him so much and I'm so scared for him. I feel like i have already failed him by giving him such a difficult start in life. It's so unfair on him. Funny though i keep thinking of names and nothing ever dawns on me. Yet yesterday a new name popped into my head and when i said ETHAN out loud-he kicked. Maybe a sign of approval. I looked up Ethan on the net and it means solid and enduring. How appropriate. He will sure need to be both. My sister made me cry a little because she said "Pauline-sure this child will have challenges and adversity-more so than his peers,but you forget one vital component!He has you;and you are the most wonderful mummy i know" He is not disadvantaged;he is blessed to have you.I am very lucky to have her as my support person. I worry that when i go into labour and its time to push that i will hesitate for fear of seeing him. I think i will just say show me his beautiful face and his heavenly eyes and wrap his legs so i cant see. then just wait till i'm alone and process things in my own time. I'm just praying its nothing worse than this. What is it that Kanye says;that, that don't kill me will only make me stronger. If its one thing i promise to pass on to my son it will be a fighting spirit. God help anyone who denegrates or laughs at him or condems me. People can be very unkind of differences. The looks of pity;I'm not sure i can hold my tongue. I will want to defend and protect him so much. C'mon lil boy stay strong and keep on fighting for your mumma.
Polly,
CONGRATULATIONS ON A LITTLE BABY BOY !!!!
I am so sorry that the road to meeting your man has not been as smooth as
you hoped for.
Just try to take it one day at a time.
You will be a wonderful Mum.
Look after yourself & your little boy. AnnaBelle
You have an absolutely amazing and wonderful sister there. I want to give her the hugest hug for knowing exactly what to say and when to say it... I have a sister with no tact or diplomacy...
I'm sure it's scary and horrible, but I'm also sure that things will work out, and that no matter how bad the feet are, you'll love your little man all the same.
When you are ready, there are some good websites for parents of kids with talipes (clubfeet).
TIPS (Talipes Information And Parental Support Group)
STEPS (STEPS charities UK)
Clubfoot.co.uk
Treatment has greatly improved over past few years. Non-surgical methods (plaster casts and boots) are the preferred first option followed by surgery if necessary. These are known as the Ponsetti method.
I'm sorry to hear about your bad news. I am sure your sister knows what she is talking about. Babies are born to parents who are suited to care for them and your are SO suited to care for this angelic boy of yours. BTW congratulations on having a boy! And Ethan is a great name.
Goodluck with the u/s tomorrow. I hope they can give you some good news too
Hi Polly!! My long lost mousekateer. I was so sorry to read about bub and your grandfather's passing. Just know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your little man and I'm sure things will be ok in the end.
AFM, 16 weeks today, time goes so fast. It only feels like yesterday you and I were in the IUI thread going through treatment.
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